The Adventures Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag
by DethRose
Summary: Commercial break 11
1. Adventure 1

The First Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag

**The First Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

**By DethRose**

_This is my first work of fiction. I do own everything in this story._

Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag was running as fast as a dog to the opening of Imaginary Land. He was running away from a can of Beets.

"Everyone knows that a can of beets can be dangerous. Adults, you have been warned. Keep the beets locked up for safety."

"Can we get back to the story?" Larry asked.

"Well adults should be warned." I being the author stated.

"I agree but come on, this is my story." Larry said.

"No it is actually _my _story since I am writing it." I said, "But, I will continue."

"Good."

"Alright then."

Larry made it to the opening of Imaginary Land and went inside, but only for a while.

One day, an Imaginary Plastic Bag was brought to Imaginary Land. Its name is Larry.

"Whoa. Hold on there. What do you mean by _it_?"

"Alright then, _he._" I said or wrote.

"Thank you." Larry thanked me.

"Can I get back to writing the story?"

"Yes you may proceed."

"Who uses the word proceed anymore?"

"Fine then! You may continue."

"Whatever."

Larry loved Imaginary Land, He thought he would stay forever.

Well, one day, a clown named Zoinks the clown, who was ugly that people ran in fright when they saw him, came to Imaginary Land to buy himself a new face. When Zoinks the clown came up to the cash register to pay for his new face, the cashier, who I am suddenly going to call Bill, had to fight the urge to run away. Larry as a result was picked to be the not-so-lucky plastic bag to be kicked out of imaginary Land.

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!!" Larry cried out.

He was so loud deaf people heard and were cured from their deafness. Dead people raised from the grave but that is a different story. All the while, Zoinks the clown was checking out and handed Bill the cashier the money for his new face.

Maybe my mommy will love me now!" Zoinks the clown exclaimed.

Zoinks the clown dragged Larry to his trashed up Pinto and got in side. All of a sudden they were in Las Vegas, which is known to be big and smell of spoiled milk, Nevada. Larry was afraid, but he was determined to go back to Imaginary Land. So when Zoinks the clown got out of his trashed up Pinto and went up to Larry to take him to his trashed up apartment, Larry kicked the clown in the knee.

"Ouch! You bleep bleep dumb bleep plastic bag!" Zoinks yowled in pain. "I'll kill you!" he added.

"Run, run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag!"

"Okay now I really will kill you because that was stupider than me." Zoinks the clown backfired.

"Whatever.' Larry said, "Don't blame me, blame the author."

While the carnivorous clown was still holding his knee and screaming obscenities, Larry ran for Imaginary Land, whose opening coincidentally appeared near him. He ran faster than the wind. Or maybe the wind just blew him towards Imaginary Land. I don't know.

Larry ran all the way to the store and went inside. The store owner, who I am suddenly going to call Bob, was waiting.

"Why did you do this to me?" Larry was crying.

"Why you ask? Because I don't like you."

"But why? What did I ever do to you?"

"Nothing really. It is the idea of the author to have me not like you"

"Oh."

"Also it was a joke." Bob said, "This whole stupid story is one big joke."

"What do you mean this story is a joke?" I asked.

"Well I mean really. An imaginary plastic bag named Larry? Why not Curly or Moe?" Bob asked.

"Oh I am real. You are not. Do not anger me, I have the power to erase you from this entire story." I snapped.

"Oh I'm real scared. You are typing this story. You can not erase."

"No but I can highlight and press backspace to delete you."

"Crap." Bob deflated, "I'm sorry."

"Can we please get back to the story? I'm getting tired." Larry yelled.

"Alright, alright."

"As I was saying, this was a joke." Bob said.

"Oh well, how was I supposed to know that?" Larry demanded.

"Well I gotta go." Bob shrugged.

"Wait!" Larry yelled.

"No I rather not."

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here? Oh yeah, now I remember, It's that stupid plastic bag that kicked me in the knee. How can a plastic bag kick anyway? How can one talk?" Zoinks the clown inquired.

"Well duh! It's called Imaginary Land!" Larry said.

"Whatever. Give me back my face."

"Silly carnivorous clown, you so ugly, I said you so ugly you make onions cry." Larry cracked.

"Hahahahahahahaheh." Everyone laughed.

"Dude! Where did everyone come from?"

"They magically appeared."

"Oh."

Well this story goes on forever because in Imaginary Land, Zoinks, Larry, Bill, Bob, and the people that magically appeared out of nowhere have never stopped fighting. So my friends this is the end. Wait. Breaking news! Imaginary Land just blew up! This is horrible. All those poor- hey look a chicken! Come here! Don't leave me!

This just in folks! Everyone survived. This is the end of the story. Tune in next time for Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag vs. T-Rex Skull or The Second Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag! Thank you and good night.

"Well I think I just wasted about twenty minutes of life reading this story." Random reader said.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnothing."

"Good."

_Well what did you think? Please review._


	2. Adventure 2

**The Second Adventure of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

When we last left our hero, Imaginary Land blew up. Everybody lived because let us face it: what kind of author would I be if I let any new, main, or important characters after the first adventure? So here I am to tell you that everybody is alive except for Zombie Chipmunk who is in fact, already dead.

"Can we get back to the story?"

"Alright I'm just reassuring the readers."

"We don't need reassurance!" the readers yelled.

"Fine." I said. "I'll continue."

As I was said before when we last left our hero, Imaginary Land blew up. Everyone lived. Larry protected everybody by covering them up with his plastic bagginess.

"That's not a real word!" Larry and the other complained.

"Since it is written down, it is now." I pouted.

"Brains!" Zombie Chipmunk exclaimed.

"Shut up!" Zoinks the clown interjected.

"Okay may I continue?"

"You may."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Whatever."

"What is up with one and two word answers?" Someone asked.

As I was saying…Larry protected everyone with his plastic bagginess. No one had a home now so they went to the Real World in the Nevada desert where they all lived unhappily moaning and complaining and crying and whining about Imaginary Land. They also now hate Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag very much.

"Why?" Larry pleaded.

"Because we think you are the cause of all this chaos."

"I like pie!" exclaimed Zoinks the clown.

"Whoopty doo! Congratulations! You have seen the light. Just shut up!" Larry yelled.

"Fine. I just wanted the readers to know I still exist."

Anyway…..everyone had to make little huts to live in. The thing was that the police have learned of this weird caravan of what they think is a rave.

"What is a rave?" Bill the cashier asked.

"A rave is a wild party that usually has techno music, is held in a far away place and just about everyone is on something. So they see hallucinations."

" Hmmm…some people may think that we are hallucinations." Said a random Imaginary Lander, who I am going to call Curly because he looks like Curly from The Three Stooges.

The police came and they all had to take drug tests because as Curly said people may think they were hallucinations. That saved them, I guess.

Everybody from Imaginary Land started to get restless. But they noticed an opening in the desert. They all went to investigate. It was…….

That is the end of this adventure! Tune in next time!

_I had to add the cliffhanger. Mwa hahahaha! I'm so evil. But don't worry the next chapter should apear in a couple of days. If anyone has any suggestions...please review. Thank you._


	3. Adventure 3

**The Third Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

_ Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Freakazoid or Labyrinth or Jareth, though I wish_

The Underground. Also known as the Labyrinth. Where one Goblin King **Dance Magic Dances** and goblins have nothing better to do than to wait for someone to "Say your right words," and where one Higgle, I mean Hogwart-

"It's Hoggle!"

"You messed me up!" I yelled. "No more limelight for you until I say so which incidentally I already have the say. Yay imagination!"

"But"

"Ah ah ah. Now back to the story." I mutter.

Hoggle will pee in the pond and thus starting the adventure.

Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag and the others: Bill the cashier, Bob the store owner, Curly the Imaginary Lander (not to be confused with the Highlander), Zoinks the clown, Zombie Chipmunk, and the others I have not mentioned yet but probably will when I feel like it, all stared in awe.

"Awwwwww."

"No awe a-w-e."

"Oooooo."

"That's better."

"Can we get back to the story?" the readers asked politely.

"Of course. Writer! Start writing I need my reassurance for today and make it good." Jareth said.

"Oh my Spock! You're him. You're the Goblin King!" I practically yelled in his ear.

"Yes. Nice of you to notice."

"Really please get back to the story." The readers pleaded.

"All right but what would you do if you suddenly realize that King Jareth was real?" I said.

As I was typing, ummm……. I forgot, oh yeah. Awe. They entered the opening, stepping inside still in awe of the labyrinthiness and the castle beyond the Goblin Gate. After staring with their mouths open and after Zoinks the clown accidentally swallowed a fly, they decided to explore their new surroundings. Little did they know a shadowy figure was watching them from a crystal ball….

"Hmmmmm….what are these strange beings?" The shadowy figure asked himself. "I think I may go for a closer look."

Larry and the other explored some more before twilight came and they decided to make camp. For dinner they had lichen that looked peculiarly like eyes with eye stalks. They kinda tasted like celery. They built a fire and sang the Freakazoid theme song because everyone knows that Imaginary Landers love Freakazoid.

"Super-teen extraordinaire

Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Runs around in underwear

Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Rescues Washington D.C.

Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Unless something better's on TV

Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

His brain's overloading

It has a chocolate coating

Textbook case for Sigmund Freud

Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Check out Dexter Douglas

Nerd computer ace

Went surfing on the internet

And was zapped to cyberspace

He turned into the Freakazoid

He's strong and super-quick

He drives the villains crazy

'Cause he's a lunatic

His home base is the Freakalair

Freakazoid! Fricassee!

Floyd the Barber cuts his hair

Freakazoid! Chimpanzee!

Rides around in the Freakmobile

Freakazoid! Freakazoo!

Hopes to make a movie deal

Freaka me! Freaka you!

He's here to save the nation

So stay tuned to this station

If not, we'll be unemployed

Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Freakazoid!!." They sang.

Pretty soon they noticed that some one was watching them. But they all nervously continued to sing to make the presence they didn't noticed it. Just then the figure decided to show his drool worthy face. (insert one swooning author here.)

"Who are you?" Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag spoke up.

"I am the Goblin King." The Goblin King, we know him as Jareth or Deliciously Gorgeous, said.

"Heh hm. I'm still here." Deliciously Gorgeous- I mean King Jareth said.

"Sorry." I blushed and muttered.

"It's quite all right. Any way to boost my ego is fine with me."

Back to story….. "What are you doing here?" Deliciously Gorgeous asked.

"We come from Kansas I mean Imaginary Land." Larry said.

"Ah yes I remember Imaginary Land. Nice condos. Beautiful beaches. Luxurious fruit."

"When did you last go there?"

"A long, long time ago." DG answered.

"You aren't going to say in galaxy far away?"

"Now why would I do that?"

"Oh, no reason." Larry looked away dejectedly.

Soon an awkward silence descended on the camp and its visitor. Cricket chirps were heard in the distance.

"That is where I will leave off for now." I said.

"Why in the Labyrinth?" Jareth, king of everything deliciously gorgeous questioned.

"Well, I have writer's block for the moment and I don't know what else to write. Reviewers… now is your chance to send me ideas and yours may get published and you will get credit for that chapter."

"Yes. Do it for me." King Jareth flirted.

"Back off! This is _my_ story." Larry TIPB screamed.

"Shut it! The both of you! It is _my_ story. And I will type it how I please!" I practically screeched, "Honestly you sound like bickering babies."

_Really though I kind of ran out of ideas so I had to use the excuse of another cliffhanger. I will write the next chapter some time this week. _

_Thank you to my el numero uno fano…..__**damsel-in-stress! **_

Deliciously Gorgeous


	4. Commercial Break

Commercial Break

**Commercial Break**

Are you bored? Well I come to tell you that you can have fun!

"I can?"

Yes you!

"What exactly is fun?"

Fun is actually a grouchy old man who tells stories of how he had to walk to school in 15 feet of snow, 15 miles away, and be there 15 hours a day….

"Zzzzzzzzz"

See? Fun is already working.

_Some assembly required_

_Does not take batteries_

_Beware of the pollutants_


	5. Adventure 4

**The Fourth Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

Since I put a deadline on this adventure for September 17, 2008, I will start back on it.

"Alright then. Start."

"Fine I'm kind of busy watching something." I said.

We zoom in to the awkward silence that descended upon the camp. Until one brave mutant bowling ball named Moe said, " Can we talk now?"

"Yes. This silence is awkward." Larry said.

"Well duh. That's why it's called an awkward silence." I snorted.

"My ego still needs boosting." Deliciously Gorgeous said.

"Oh great and powerful king of goblins, how your hair shines so." I threw in sarcastically.

"Thank you." Deliciously Gorgeous beamed.

"Whatever." I said.

"Did you ever notice that in the first Batman movie that Tim Burton did, Harvey Dent was black?" Abbot the fish bone asked.

"Actually yes," I agreed, "But I don't care."

"Okay."

"Back to the story." I said.

Deliciously Gorgeous finally said," Alright then. In a galaxy far away."

"Yay!" Larry could not hide his happiness.

"I need to use the bathroom." Zoinks the clown said embarrassingly.

Suddenly a privy appeared out of thin air.

"Oh thank Spock!" Zoinks the clown shouted and ran.

"Just make sure you aim properly." Jareth shouted after him, "I don't want to have to smell anything more repulsive than this." He held out an old boot.

"Whew! Where did you find that?" I held my nose.

"There was a goblin who thought this was appropriate payment for a book." He said, "Something strange happened to me then."

"What happened?"

"I felt pity for the poor thing. I knew it couldn't read but I gave her the book anyway."

"What was the book?"

"Cat And The Hat."

"You like Dr. Seuss?" I asked amazed.

"Do you have a problem with it?"

"No. I love Dr. Seuss. He was a genius!"

"Alright then.

"Okay."

Soon Zoinks the clown came out of the privy. He looked around and noticed that no one was near because they all left. All that even came close to being recognizable was the screaming remains of the lichen they all had for dinner.

"Aw man!" Zoinks the clown snapped his fingers and went through The Labyrinth to find his way to the others.

Meanwhile….in the Castle Beyond The Goblin Gate, everyone else was searching the castle.

"Sorry it took so long to play host but I will not have a clown in residence in my castle. To tell you the truth, they creep me out."

"Don't worry. I'm afraid of clowns. I was planning on just leaving him somewhere in an alternate dimension but you took care of it first." I reassured him.

"So what do we do now?" A random cornflake named Costello asked.

"I will let each of you have a room so you can sleep."

"Thank you." Larry thanked Jareth.

"You are quite welcome." Jareth said, "But do not go into my own room."

"Ooooooo…why not?" I inquired playfully.

"I like my privacy."

"Alright then. I understand. But I don't think they will." I point to the Imaginary Landers. "They are so used to doing whatever they want."

"But why?"

"Because I made them up."

"Can't you control them?"

"Sure but I want to see what kind of trouble they get into first usually." I shrugged. "But for your sake I will."

"Thank you." Deliciously Gorgeous kissed me on the cheek.

"Don't mention it." I blushed.

"So what did I miss?" damsel-in-stress came in and asked.

"Oh my Spock!" I shouted, "It's my only reviewer!" I went over and hugged her. "Yay!"

"And you are?" Jareth asks and looks darkly at her.

"I am damsel-in-stress, the only reviewer for this story." Damsel-in-stress replied. "I just thought I'd become part of the story."

"And so you shall." I said.

"By the way, I never caught your name." Jareth looked towards me.

"My name is DethRose."

"I am pleased to meet you." He bent over and kissed my hand.

"Heh hm. Where's _my_ kiss?" damsel-in-stress pouted and then looked at Jareth with puppy dog eyes while I blushed.

"Oh yes. How rude of me." He said. "Hogwart!"

"It's Hoggle!"

"Yes. Kiss Miss damsel-in-stress' hand for me."

"Eww! No! Forget it!" She shouted. "I will annoy you while I'm here."

"How exactly?"

"Whoa! Pause!" I yelled and everything pauses except for damsel-in-stress and me. "Not yet. That's for a different adventure. Right now we will both annoy him. Mwa hahaha!" damsel-in-stress looks at me like I am a maniac.

"Well?" I said. Damsel-in-stress joins me in my maniacal laughter.


	6. Adventure 5

The Fifth Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag The Fifth Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Joker or Jareth though I wish I did. But I do have the movie Labyrinth. Oh yeah! I do own this story, and myself! Yay!_

When we last left damsel-in-stress and me, we were laughing maniacally.

"My Spock!" damsel-in-stress cried, "You left us laughing for about a day. How could you?"

"I'm sorry. I forgot."

"Play!" I shouted and everything resumed.

Meanwhile somewhere in the recesses of the castle….

"Whew! How many stairs are in this place?" Larry whined.

He heard a voice. It said, "More stairs than you can count."

"You mean more than 20?"

"Yes, much more than 20."

"Who are you and where are you?"

"I am the stairs and I am right under you."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry. I'm used to be stepped all over."

"Alright then." Larry continued his voyage.

Back in the throne room…..

"You know, you look like David Bowie." Damsel-in-stress said to Deliciously Gorgeous.

"Who is this David Bowie you speak of?" Jareth asked.

"What?! You don't know who David Bowie is?!"

"Should I?"

"No." I said.

"What do you mean he shouldn't know?" damsel-in-stress whispered violently to me.

"Follow my lead." I whispered back. "So," I said in louder voice to Jareth, "Have you ever turned and faced the strange?"

"Look around. Strangeness is everywhere. Nothing is normal."

"Do you know Andy Warhol?" damsel-in-stress asks.

"See? Just name songs David Bowie made." I whispered to damsel-in-stress.

"Hahahaha! This is fun." She whispered back.

"Do you want to Be My Wife?" I asked his royal highness.

"What?" Jareth asked confused.

"Would you like to Bring Me To The Disco King?" damsel-in-stress asked.

"Who is that? If he is in my kingdom, I will find him." Jareth stated.

"Do you Bleed Like A Craze, Dad?" I asked.

"I am not your dad. I also do not bleed. Where did hear that I was crazy?"

"Can You Hear Me?" damsel-in-stress yelled.

"Watch your voice level."

"This is fun." I whispered to damsel-in-stress, "Now lets say the lyrics."

"Alright." She whispered back.

"Boy do you have screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo." I said.

"Yeah it's almost a hairdon't."

"What do you mean? I like my hair and my eyes are not screwed up."

"Please, Mr. Gravedigger, don't kill us."

"I wouldn't even think of it."

"Man, he is hard to annoy." Damsel-in-stress whispered to me.

"I know, we have to try a different tactic."

"What are you two whispering about?" Jareth asks us.

"Nothing." Damsel-in-stress and I reply.

"Well then, I am going to my room. Fell free to look around."

Damsel-in-stress and I watch him walk off.

"He has one nice looking bum." Damsel-in-stress states.

"Oooooo. Does he ever."

"I can hear you, you know." Jareth come back.

"I know. We meant for you to hear."

"Now my ego has been boosted. I thank you both." Jareth kisses us both on our cheeks. "Now I will go to my room. Try not to make too much noise."

Damsel-in-stress and I both blush. Larry comes in and wonders why we are speechlessly watching Deliciously Gorgeous walk away. He does not know what happened.

"I do now!"

"Darn it!"

"Jareth and DethRose and Damsel-in-stress sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G-"

"Shut up!" I try to slap Larry but realize he is a plastic bag and make due with tying him a knot.

"I was just joking."

"Why so serious?" The Joker asks.

"Who the hell are you?" Bill the cashier asks.

"I am the Joker." The Joker answers.

"Get out of my story!" I yelled.

"Yeah, I, uh, I've been trying to and, uh, I can't."

"Alright then. You can stay but you must not kill anyone, as a precaution, let me keep all of your weapons."

"But, uh, I need them."

"Why do you need them?"

"I just do."

"Well, you can keep one weapon and only one. Choose wisely."

"Yessss!" The Joker gave us a _very_ wide smile. He picked a groovy looking switchblade and gave me the rest of the enormous pile of weapons including a bazooka.

"Where in the world did you hide that?" I asked.

"If I were you, I wouldn't want to know."

"Man you pack a lot of heat." I commented.

"You have to be ready for anything uh, when you are me."

"Did you see The Dark Knight?" damsel-in-stress asked the Joker.

"Yes I did. Heath Ledger did an, uh, excellent job playing me."

"I know right?" I said.

"Can someone please help me out of this knot?" Larry pleaded.

"Yes." I untied him. "Now, don't do that again."

"I told you not to make so much noise- who are _you?_" Jareth asks the Joker.

"I am the Joker."

"Oh good. Now tell me some jokes."

"I wouldn't ask him to do that." I advised.

"And why not? I'm the Goblin King. I can do anything."

"Can you do this?" I burp the ABCs while jumping up and down and headbanging.

"Maybe not that."

"Still don't ask him any jokes."

"But why not?"

"They have a tendency to end with someone dying."

"They do not! Here is an example! What did the teenage cookie say to its mom when it had an accident?"

"What did the teenage cookie say?" We asked.

"I chipped myself."

A random goblin came around the corner.

"Stroke!" The goblin said and died.

"Oh yeah!" I said, "Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird."

"Hahahaha!" Everyone laughed.

"What did you say?" suddenly Chuck Norris appeared.

"Nothing."

"You said something. Now tell me before I roundhouse kick you in the face all the back to 1975."

"I just stated that you could kill two stones with one bird." I replied.

"And don't you forget it." Chuck Norris walks off.

"Well."

"Yeah."

"That was random."

"Hahahaha! I thought you would pee your pants!" Joker laughed.

"No that is what you are doing right now."

We zoom in to the large growing wet spot on the Joker's pants.

"Oops." The Joker blushes, "Where is your uh, bathroom?"

"Up the stairs. Take a left, then take a right. Go down the stairs, then right again. Go up the stairs, then go to the twentieth door on your left."

We watch as the Joker goes in search of the bathroom.

"Wow. He blushes pink."

One hour later….

"Lucy, I'm home" Joker yells.

"Took you long enough." I said.

"Yes. It did take you a long time." Larry added.

"Well, uh, you try finding the bathroom around here."

"It's right over there." Jareth points to a door.

The Joker takes out his switchblade. It magically disappears.

"What did you do my switchblade?" Joker asks me.

"Hey I said you were not to kill anyone, that includes threatening them as well."

"Yes, yes but where is my switchblade?"

"Right here." I reach into my pocket. "Nice switchblade by the way."

"Thank you." He puts it into his own pocket.

"I'm sleepy." Damsel-in-stress says.

"So am I."

"Me too."

"Follow me. I will show you to your rooms."

We follow Jareth. The rooms were beautiful. The Joker's room was of course black, white, red, green and purple. It was awesome. Next was Damsel-in-stress' room. Her room was an exact replica of the inside of the TARDIS, that's Time And Relative Dimension In Space to you non-Doctor Who lovers. I was jealous. It came complete with a real working sonic screwdriver and a hologram of the Doctor. It also made the same sounds as well including the famous: whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, screech, screech of the TARDIS taking off. Man it was cool. Last was my room. It was groovy. Literally! Lava lamps were everywhere. The walls themselves were lava lamps! There was a huge bookcase full of books. The carpet was black shag, soft enough that you can sleep on it.

"I love it!" I hugged Deliciously Gorgeous and Generous and kissed him on the cheek.

"Yes well, I do try to do my best to make most of my guests comfortable."

"Thank you again."

"You are welcome." Jareth left me to my room. Of course the first thing I did was look at the books. It had all of Dr. Seuss' books, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child's Pendergast series, Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Novels , and Laurie R. King's Sherlock Holmes and Mary Russell novels.

"Yes lads and lasses, I am a supernatural romance fan."

I settled down on my bed and started to read Dance Of Death, one the Pendergast series. Pretty soon, I fell asleep.

"This is a nice place to end this adventure." Jareth says.

"I agree." Larry says.

"Thanks for reading this adventure."

"Hey! What about me?" Zoinks the clown asks.

"You are still searching for us." Jareth explains slowly.

"Oh right, well I'm off to find you."

"Goodbye." Jareth says, "Ignoramus clown." Jareth whispers under his breath. "And goodbye to all of you." Jareth points to the readers.

The typing slowly fades away as Jareth uses his numinous powers to close this adventure.

_Aunt Wyma, I used numinous! And to damsel-in-stress: if you don't like your room, then pm me. ____ And to all of the readers, please review, I would love to read your thoughts. _

_Jareth: "Please review." He uses the world's saddest puppy dog eyes._


	7. Adventure 6

**The Sixth Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

"Psst. Wake up." A voice whispered.

"Leave me alone." I muttered in my sleep.

"Wake up. It's time for another adventure." The same voice whispered.

I turn over. The voice still persists until it finally had enough.

"WAKE UP!" the voice boomed.

"I DON'T WANT TO." I yelled back to the voice.

Finally I opened my eyes and saw the owner of the voice. It was the Joker.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" I yelled. I gave him the evilest look. He cowered.

"Jareth or who you call Deliciously Gorgeous, asked me to wake you up. Actually he told me to."

"Why?" I was still furious to have been woken up.

"Breakfast."

"Did you wake her up?" someone asked the Joker, It turned out to be damsel-in-stress.

"Does she look like she's awake.?"

"Well, now that you mention it."

"What's going on in here?" Larry comes in.

"Why is everyone in my room?" I ask myself.

"Good morning. Glad to see that you are finally up." Jareth walked in as well.

By that time I was ready to shout for everyone to get out of my room. But I didn't. Instead I asked, "Why is everyone in my room?"

"Isn't it obvious? Your room is groovy." Joker said.

"I can't argue with that but I'm still in my pajamas. I need to get dressed."

"Then go get dressed."

"Not until all of you get out."

"Alright people." Jareth announced.

"Heh hm." Larry cleared his throat.

"And plastic bag. Let's get out of her room so she can get dressed."

"Thank you."

So I got dressed after they left. Then I put on my Converse because they are the _most comfortable_ shoe ever made. After I got totally dressed, I went out of my room to search for the others. They were in the throne room. Go figure. There was something I didn't notice yesterday and that was that there were hardly any goblins.

"Where are all of the goblins Deliciously Gorgeous?" I asked.

"They have been told to go away."

"Why?" damsel-in-stress asked.

"I did not feel like dealing with them for the remainder of this story."

"Why?"

"DethRose can answer that."

"What do you mean I- Oh yeah. Because that would be waaaaay too many characters to write."

"Oh okay."

Pretty soon, breakfast was served. It consisted of bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes, fruits, juice, and milk. You could pick out what you wanted. The food was savory. After breakfast, Jareth showed us around the castle.

"And this is the garden." Jareth said as he concluded the tour. There were many weird looking plants and flowers, some were in the shapes of little animals that moved! After the tour we went back inside of the castle.

"Hey look!" the Joker said, "There's a huge flying T-rex skull!" He pointed upwards.

"Mwa hahahahaha!" T-rex skull laughed.

"I'll save us!" Larry said as he leaped into the air and kind of floated until he got close to T-rex skull.

BANG! POW! BAGGINESS! KA-ZAP!

Larry fought T-rex skull and won. How he did it, we will never know.

Soon it was lunch time. There was a lot of food, but I won't bore you with the details in case you are hungry.

"We aren't hungry." The fans reassured me.

"Nevertheless, I just don't feel like typing the details."

After lunch, damsel-in-stress, The joker, and I decided to annoy Jareth again. The Joker was up first.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Knock, knock."

"I said who's there."

"I am."

Another random goblin rounded the corner and fell down dead.

"Oh crap." Joker said.

Next up was damsel-in-stress.

"I get knocked down, but I get up again. You'll never keep me down." She sang and continued to sing.

She didn't annoy Jareth but she annoyed the rest of us. As a matter of fact, Jareth looked as if was enjoying himself.

Now it was my turn.

"Poke." I poked Jareth. "Poke." I poked him again. I kept this up for about five minutes until I got bored. Now all three of us will try to annoy him together.

"What should we do?"

"We tried jokes, singing and poking."

"Why don't we sing the song that get on everybody's nerves?" I whispered.

"No!" the others glared at me.

"Well then, what?"

"I don't know."

"Wait yesterday I noticed that he doesn't like whispering." I whispered.

"That's right!" damsel-in-stress replied.

"So all we do is keep whispering?" Joker asked.

"Duh!" damsel-in-stress and replied and rolled our eyes.

"Why do you think he doesn't like it?"

"I think it is because he likes to know everything and he can't hear when you whisper." Damsel-in-stress answered.

"What are you three whispering about?"

"Let's look like we have no idea what he is talking about."

"What do you mean what are we whispering about. We aren't."

"Yes you were. I saw you."

"So you saw us whisper?"

"Yes."

"You can hear with your eyes?!"

"No."

"I thought you could do anything."

"I can do _most_ things." Jareth looks down.

"Well then, you lied."

"I think I may just go to my room."

"Alright."

"On second thought, how about you three joining me in painting?"

"I think someone already painted today."

We all look at the Joker.

"What? So I paint my face. Who cares?"

"Well do you want to join me?"

"I have nothing better to do." I said.

"Yes." Damsel-in-stress said.

"I guess I'll go with you." The Joker sighed.

We all left to go to the drawing room Jareth painted his own rendition of Van Gogh's _Starry Night_, I painted the Joker. And the Joker painted the Joker, and damsel-in-stress painted the Doctor. We voted on who we thought's painting was the best. Jareth won. After we painted, we tried to teach goblins to fly for fun. Needless to say, they don't fly as well as sheep or poodles."

'If you write to me and tell me where these two references are from then you get nothing! Absolutely nothing! Actually you will receive a virtual spatula." I said to the readers.

"Ah. You are talking to your readers."

"I know where both references are from." Said the Joker.

"Don't tell!" I use the force on the Joker to lift him up.

"Okay, okay. I won't."

"When did you learn the force?"

"I didn't. I just felt like using the force is all."

"Oh. Can I use the force?"

"Well," damsel-in-stress gives me the puppy dog eyes look, "Okay."

"Yay!" she goes hog-wild using the force.

"Wow."

Damsel-in-stress uses the force to lift Jareth up and making him dance.

"DethRose! Take the force away from her!" Jareth screams. His eyes were wide with fright.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha!" The Joker and I were too busy laughing and falling over.

"Help!" Jareth was now doing cartwheels in the air while dancing.

"Hahahahahahahahaha!" the readers joined in our laughing.

Finally I took the force away from her and gently lowered Jareth to the floor. He immediately collapsed on the floor so he could stop his dizzy spell. He did not look well at all so I made a fan appear.

"OH MY SPOCK! YOU'RE JARETH!" the fan screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Not that kind of fan!"

"Oh all right. Here you go." I made a paper fan appear into my hands and stooped down to fan Jareth.

"Thank you."

"You are quite welcome."

After I fanned Deliciously Gorgeous and he recuperated, I help him up. I then decided to let everyone enjoy the power of the force. We made each other lift up and we made little goblins levitate while listening to them squeal. We had a blast.


	8. Commercial Break 2

**Commercial Break 2**

Are you tired of your meaningless existence?

Yes.

Well now your life can have a meaning!

It can?

Yes! It can!

How?

Your can have a meaning by sending me 1,000.

How will that give my life a meaning?

You will help this poor, starving author.

Well then, sign me up!

Make checks out to cash.

_Not responsible for the stupidity of readers actually sending money in._


	9. Adventure 7: Quest For A Nickname

**The Seventh Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag- Quest For A Nickname**

"I want a nickname." Joker stated to me.

"Why?"

"Because you gave Jareth a nickname. I want one too."

"But your name is a nickname."

"I want another."

"Alright then."

"Well?"

"I'm thinking."

"Hurry it up."

"How about Chuckles?" a random goblin asked.

"Hey you!" The Joker points to that same goblin, "What is a vampires favorite fruit?"

"I don't know." Said the goblin trembling. He knows what will happen next.

"A nectarine."

The random goblin that called the Joker, Chuckles, fell over dead.

"I told you that your jokes always end with someone dying." I pointed out.

"Yes. Now I can use it against the world. Mwa hahahahahahaha!"

"Alrighty then. Back on topic. How about Greeny?"

"No."

"Croak?"

"Where'd you get that from?"

"I don't know."

"It was just so random."

"How about Boom?"

"Why Boom?"

"Well you seem to like to blow things up."

"No."

"How about Maverick?"

"Definitely not."

"Fine then," I said, "What about Negative?"

"Why that?"

"Because the opposite of positive is negative. Positive representing life and negative representing anti-life. Also, you said no to all of the above suggestions." I expained.

"Nope. It makes sense but nope."

"Alright then Prince."

"Hey! I kind of like the sound of that."

"Too bad it's already taken. Hahaha!"

"Oh."

"Purple Rain!"

"No!"

"Why do you wear purple?"

"I love purple."

"Okay."

"So what nickname are you going to give me?"

"What about Diogenes?"

"Er."

"Wait! Before you say no, let me explain why you should be nicknamed Diogenes."

"Er. Okay."

"He is a character in the Pendergast novels I read. He is Aloysius Pendergasts' brother. He was an evil genius who was also insane."

"No thank you."

"Aww man."

"Sorry."

"Whatever Smiley."

"Don't make me tell you a joke." He threatened.

"Hahahaha!" I laughed. "Rockin' Socks!"

"What?!"

"Your socks rock. So now I am going to call you Rockin' Socks."

"That has to be _the_ most _idiotic_ nickname ever."

"It beats Chuckles."

"No it doesn't."

"Fine. What about Ziggy?"

"I'm even going to ask."

"Nazz."

"Hmm…Nazz." The Joker thought. "Naa."

"Rekoj."

"Hey! I like it."

"Good. It's just your name backwards. It sounds like wreckage."

"I like it." The newly nicknamed Joker said.

"Alright then, I dub thee Rekoj." A sword magically appears in my hand and I dub him.

"Can I keep the sword?" Rekoj asks me.

"Nope." I reply. "Oh and I will periodically call you all of the nicknames that you turned down. Mwa hahahaha!"


	10. Adventure 8

**The Eighth Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

"Hello people and welcome to this adventure!" Larry TIPB said, "Come join me as I-"

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" I glared at him.

"Ummm….nothing."

"I'm telling the story!"

"Well, you weren't around."

"I am now."

Heh hm… in the last adventure, Joker got a new nickname. His nickname is Rekoj. But call him Chuckles. He loves it.

"Don't you dare call me Chuckles." Chuckles threatened.

"Whatever." I wait a couple of seconds before saying, "Chuckles."

"Arrrggghhh!" He goes ape guano.

"Okay, okay." I back away _slowly._

"I'm done." Joker said.

"Done with what?" damsel-in-stress came in followed by the Doctor.

"There you go real damsel-in-stress!" I said.

"I am the real damsel-in-stress." She said.

"So what happened?" the Doctor asked me.

"I called the Joker Chuckles."

"Hahahaha!" damsel-in-stress and the Doctor laughed. Rekoj looks like a mad frog.

"Hello guests." Deliciously Gorgeous walks in.

"Why do you call him Deliciously Gorgeous?" the doctor asks.

"Look at him! He's deliciously gorgeous!" I pointed to Jareth and he beams.

"I don't see it." I stare at the Doctor as if he swallowed a llama.

"Wha-how-whatever."

"Sorry."

"The time is now 2:40 pm." I call out.

"Why did you just call out the time?" Joker asks me.

"I don't know."

"Spooky."

"I blame Hoggle."

"What did I do?" Hoggle asks.

"Get out of here! Go crawl back to your cave!" I yelled at him.

The rest look at me while Hoggle crawls back to his cave.

"What? I just never liked him."

"Oh."

"Do you think I'm evil to want to mess up clean windows right after the window washers just cleaned them?" I asked the Joker."

"Yes."

"Groovy." I remarked.

"So what are we going to do today?" damsel-in-stress asked.

"How about we have a light saber battle?" I suggested.

"Won't we get hurt?"

"No. Instead of being super hot, it will just go through you without hurting or do any damage."

"Okay."

We had a huge battle complete with the force.

"This battle's epic!" some random person yelled.

After we battled, we go to the archery field. And after that, we went back inside and ate lunch.

"This food is scrumptious." I complemented.

"Thank you. I only eat the finest." Jareth said.

"Hahaha! You said scrumptious." The Doctor laughs.

"At least I don't live in a police box." I muttered.

"It's a TARDIS! Time And Relative Dimension In Space!" the Doctor yelled.

"Fine then." I put my fork down, "At least I don't live in a TARDIS that looks like a police box." I retorted.

"…." The Doctor could not say anything.

"Uh oh." Damsel-in-stress gasped.

"I challenge you to a Random Word Contest." The Doctor challenged me.

"I accept."

"This is going to be groovy." The Joker said brightly.

"Get a coin. Heads I go first. Tails you go first."

The coin landed on tails.

"Pig" the Doctor started.

"Windex." I countered

"Orange"

"Antidisestablishmentarianism"

"Rexicoricofallapatorious"

"Numinous"

"Chewbacca"

"Keyboard"

"Flag"

"Clock"

"Pizza"

"Eighty"

"A"

"Tree"

"Chainsaw"

"I think we have a winner." Joker said.

"Who?" Jareth inquired.

"DethRose?"

"How did she win?" the Doctor asked.

"DethRose said tree. The Doctor said chainsaw. A chainsaw is used to cut a tree. It's not random." The Joker explained.

"Fudge monkeys."

"I think she already won with antidisestablishmentarianism, because that was truly random." Deliciously Gorgeous said.

"I bet she doesn't even know what it means." The Doctor muttered.

"It means your face. No just kidding. It opposition to the disestablishment of the Church Of England. Now opposition to the belief that there should no longer be an official church in a country."

"Wow."

"Yeah." I said. "Remember, I am the author. I have the power of the dictionary."

"Groovy."

"Hahahahaha!" Rekoj laughs.

"Well people I've had a horrendous day so I will close this adventure up. Goodbye!" I said to the readers. "Psst. Guys, wave goodbye to the nice readers."

"Goodbye." Joker, Jareth, damsel-in-stress, and the Doctor all wave goodbye.

"Oh and readers, remember to review!"


	11. Adventure 9: The bonfire

**The Ninth Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

We open this adventure with a pile of sticks and wood.

"What about a pile of sticks?"

"It's important."

"Alrighty then."

All of us, Jareth, the Joker, damsel-in-stress, the Doctor, and I were looking at the pile of sticks and wood. It was a chilly night outside so we decided to build a bonfire.

"Where do we get the fire?" the Doctor asks.

"Duh. Jareth and Chuckles will take care of it." I said.

"How?" damsel-in-stress asks me.

"Deliciously Gorgeous will produce the fire and Rockin' Socks will pretend to be caught on fire and run around like a chicken that had its head chopped off."

"And why?"

"Because I am bored. Entertain me. No, I just thought Smiley would do that anyway."

"Alright then, let's begin."

"You know I can help with my sonic screwdriver." The Doctor whispered to me.

"Which one?"

"Er…is that innuendo I'm detecting?"

"Yes."

"Alright."

"Anyway. I thought it would be more amusing to watch Jareth try to make to fire and watch Purple Rain run around."

"That does sound amusing." The Doctor whispered back.

"What are you two whispering about?" Jareth glares at us.

"Nothing. Don't you worry your pretty little head." I said cheerily.

"Alright, now as to my as you called it, "my pretty little head" I agree."

"You would. So can you please make with the fire making now?" I pleaded.

"I will."

"Poof and roar!" the fire said.

"Ahh!" Boom screamed, "Help, I'm on fire!"

"Burn baby burn! Disco inferno!" we all sang except Deliciously Gorgeous, who refused.

"Party pooper."

"I do not poop at parties." Jareth stated.

"…….."

The Joker stopped running around. "So now what do we do?"

"We sit down and watch the fire." I replied.

"Now why would you want to do that?"

"Have you ever watched the things you set on fire or do you just run away without admiring the beauty of fire?" I asked Rekoj.

"I run away."

"Oh."

"Well that sounds boring just sitting and watching the fire."

"It isn't if you tell ghost stories and try to scare people and throw things inside the fire."

We all sit down and watch the bonfire. It was forty feet tall! We were all quiet until….

"My back is cold. My front is hot. I am……..WARM!!" I jump at damsel-in-stress.

"Eeeeek!" Jareth squealed like a little girl.

"I knew he was too perfect." I remarked.

"Just then, Jarek ran up to the fire. He just stood there looking.

"Oooooh how pretty." He said.

"Here let me help you get closer." I said and shoved him into the fire.

"Hahahahahahaha!" the Joker cackled maniacally while the others stared in horror.

"What? He was making inappropriate comments during my lunch. I told him that if he wouldn't quit, I would kill him. I kept my word." I explained.

"Anyone hungry?" The Joker joked.

"yeah." We all answered. We got marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers and made S'mores while listening and watching a certain person scream and burn. After we ate, we stood up danced around the fire. Don't ask me why.

"Why?" a random toad asked.

"Because our Chuck Norris senses were tingling. We had to look like we were doing something."

"Oh okay."

"Chuck Norris stood and watched us and then waked off because Chuck Norris never runs. He walks.

"Why do you just walk?" the random toad asks Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the random toad and as a result, the toad disintegrated.

"Because I can." Chuck Norris says to the pile of ashes that was the toad.

We look away. Chuck Norris walks off again.

"How does he come her." Deliciously Gorgeous asks me.

"He just does."

"No I mean how does he get in this story?"

"He takes over my brain."

"Oh."

"Okay."

"Guess what." I said to all.

"What?"

"I said guess."

"Um….. Timmy fell down the well again?"

"No. I am reading while I write and listen."

"Wow."

"Yes, I'm multi-tasking."

"Groovy."

"Oh look!" damsel-in-stress points towards the fire. We see that the Joker threw in aerosol cans. The fire was many different colors.

"Ooooooo pretty." We were all in awe.

Deliciously Gorgeous, Greeny, damsel-in-stress, the Doctor, and I watched the fire until it burnt itself out. We went back inside and went to our separate rooms and fell asleep.

_AN: Hi. Sorry it kind of took so long for me to add another chapter but my fall break just began on Friday and I went to see my friend in a play called __Tracking The Raven__ by my drama teacher. It was good. My friend truly startled me. He plays a excellent madman. He actually played Roderick Usher. Man he was believable as a madman._


	12. Commercial Break 3

**Commercial Break 3**

We interrupt this story to offer you a once in a lifetime offer.

"What is it?"

A pet.

"A pet what?"

Introducing the pet potato!

"A potato?"

No! A pet potato.

"What's the difference?"

Are you kidding me? The difference is that this one is a pet.

"Ah."

You can teach the pet potato how to sit, stay, lie down, and roll over.

"How?"

By talking to it.

"You want me to talk to a potato."

No. That would be stupid. I want you to talk to the _pet_ potato. Just pay 10.00 and 3.95 for shipping and handling.

"Why would I want to buy a pet potato when I could buy a pet turnip?"

Because Spock hates you, you little twit. Just buy the bloody pet potato.

"Alright, alright."


	13. Adventure 10: You'll See Mwa hahahaha!

**The Tenth Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the music or musicians I list, the movie Labyrinth, his royal highness Jareth, or the Joker or Rocky Horror Picture Show. _

In this adventure we discover something. My talent.

We open this story with another pile of wood. This time it isn't for a bonfire. It's for building.

"Help me screw this in." Joker asked me.

"I can't. I'll screw everything up."

"Oh Spock. Is this going to be a chapter with lots of puns?" damsel-in-stress asked me.

"I can't help it. I'm just so dare I say it….so darn _punny?_"

"Gah." The others rolled their eyes.

"My cousin said that there was an old buck that everyone was trying to hunt. They even put up cameras to track its movements. My cousin and his father would go into the woods and knock the cameras down."

"is this story going anywhere?" Jareth asks me in an annoyed voice.

"Yes. Heh hm. As I was saying, I asked him why wouldn't anyone let the poor old buck alone and let him kick the _buck_et_._

"Oh Spock." The Doctor groaned.

"Hahahaha!" The Joker laughed.

"Pfft." damsel-in-stress rolled her eyes.

"Okay, I'm done with the puns………….for now." I shift my eyes left to right suspiciously.

"Oh thank Spock."

"Back to the story."

The Joker was screwing.

"DethRose!" Rekoj groaned.

"Alright sooooorry. I couldn't resist."

The Doctor was using his sonic screwdriver to help build whatever we were building. I think it might turn out to be a Trojan mule.

"I thought it was supposed to be a Trojan horse." The Doctor pointed out.

"Well it's not. In this story, it's a Trojan mule. So there." I stick my tongue out at the Doctor. He just laughed. Oh yeah. By the by, this takes place the next day after the bonfire.

"Does anyone want to listen to some music?" I ask my companions.

"Sure." Everyone replies.

"Any suggestions?"

"Lisa Minnelli!" Deliciously Gorgeous shouted.

"Who?" I scrunch up my nose.

"She sung New York, New York. She is the daughter of Judy Garland. You know Dorothy on the Wizard Of Oz?" he explains to me.

"I thought Frank Sinatra sung New York, New York."

"How about ELO?" the Doctor suggested.

"Groovy."

"How about Queen." Damsel-in-stress said.

"Alright and what about you Joker?"

"Umm……come here." I go to the Joker and he whispers something in my ear.

"Oh! My mom loves them!" I said out loud. The Joker pulls out his switchblade.

"Not so loud!" he whispers violently to me.

"Sorry."

"And sorry back to you."

"What will you choose DethRose?" Deliciously Gorgeous asks.

"Umm… David Bowie, KISS, Billy Idol, Frank Sinatra, and Burt Bacharach."

"Who?" damsel-in-stress asks me.

"You never heard of Burt Bacharach?" I gasped. Everyone else looked at damsel-in-stress.

"No."

"He is only the best singer/songwriter ever! He wrote such hits as _Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, Alfie, What's New Pussycat?, Walk On By, _

_(There's) Always Something There To Remind Me._ He has cameos in Austin Powers. He wrote the song _What The World Need Now Is Love."_ I explain.

"Wow. You really know your stuff." She complemented me.

"Yeah. I do research." I answered. "Now let the music begin."

The music began and first up was Lisa Minnelli. Second was ELO. Third was Queen. Fourth was Culture Club, (guess who picked that? :-D). And fifth was all that I listed including Ah Ha, Prince, and Men Without Hats.

"Man that was some good music." I stated.

"It was."

We look to see what we had built. It was a giant stage.

"Well now what?"

"How about we bring chairs out here and watch Rocky Horror Picture Show?" Joker said.

"Yay!" we yelled.

So we watched Rocky Horror Picture Show. After that we ate Razzles and played Scrabble. Joker won forever because he spelled out Chuck Norris. After we played Scrabble, we went into the library and sat down with books.

"I would love to meet Edgar Allan Poe." I sighed.

"Well then, why didn't you say so? We can all go back in time to meet him!" the Doctor jumped up and said.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" I shouted.

_AN:Bwa hahahaha! Cliffie! Oh yeah if you want to know the songs i picked out don't hesistate to pm me to ask. i will gladly give you the list. Please review. I really want to know what my preciouses think. Sorry. I mean lovely readers think. BTW does anyone know how i can see how many people read this? HELP!_


	14. Adventure 11: Going To Meet EAP

**The Eleventh Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Celine Dion, ****IT****, The Raven, Jareth, or the Joker. I barely own my own sanity. Lol.**

"Wheeeeeeeeeeee!" I shouted.

We were going back in time to see Edgar Allan Poe. One of my most favoritist authors/poets ever.

(Insert Doctor Who theme here)

"Alright! Now hold on everyone!" The Doctor did his TARDIS thing while we all held on to various parts of the police box. We heard the familiar whoosh as the TARDIS took off to 1840 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania where Edgar Allan Poe lived. As we stumbled out of the famous police box, we were laughing as was the norm. We looked around. Of course none of the Imaginary Landers could go so it was just the Joker, we had to persuade him to take off his makeup and find something that would cover up his scars. There was Deliciously Gorgeous, damsel-in-stress, the Doctor, and of course me. When we came out of the TARDIS, we bumped into a peculiar man with wavy black hair and a mustache. He had very haunted eyes. I knew that this man was Edgar Allan Poe.

"Excuse me." The man said as he walked away. My mouth was hanging open. The Joker generously closed my mouth for me.

"Thank you Joker."

"Call me ummmmmm……" he looks around searching for a name, "Jack while we are around this time."

"Okay. Call me Christa." I said.

"And call me Cat." Damsel-in-stress said.

Jareth, Jack, the Doctor, Cat, and I turned to follow the man when he turned back around and came walking towards us. We quickly looked like we were doing something else.

"You remind me of someone I once knew." He said to the Doctor.

"Yes, we did meet over Banana Daiquiris at a party. You told me about some of your stories. I have to say, I was quite intrigued with them. Sorry, I ramble. These are my friends, Jareth, Jack, Cat, and Christa. Of course, if you remember, I am the Doctor."

"Nice to meet you. I would be honored if you and your friends were to accompany me to my wife and mine house. By the way, I am Edgar Allan Poe."

"It is nice to meet you as well." I responded.

"I have noticed that you are carrying around a notebook. May I ask what is inside?"

"It is a story I am working on. It will probably never be done. I have too many ideas. If you want to read it, because I know you do, you may. I would be delighted if you will tell me what you think of it."

"I would be delighted to read your story." Edgar Allan Poe responded.

"I am warning you, you may not understand a lot of what is going on. I write random things that no one really understands. I just write for myself and for the , uh, weird."

"Don't worry. In my opinion the normal people are the weird people, because everyone is different. I have, uh, a few problems myself. Shall we be off?" he offered me an arm and offered his other arm to Cat. We left to go to his house. Of course the others had to follow because let's face it: he didn't have enough arms to go around. If he did his name would be Edgarpus. So we came to the door of the famous man.

"I would like to introduce you to my beautiful wife Virginia."

"Hello and welcome to our house." She smiles.

"Thank you." Jareth politely responded.

"Christa here is a writer herself. She has invited me to read her story. My I read aloud?"

"If you wish." I said as I handed over my notebook. Edgar Allan Poe began to read this story starting with the first adventure. We were all laughing and even the Grandfather of Detective Stories was laughing out loud. He had to stop reading a couple of times. All of us got equally embarrassed. We had a wonderful time.

After Edgar Allan Poe read my story, he let us read some things he was working on. He pulled me aside.

"I have not laughed that hard for a long time. Your randomness is unique in itself. Keep on writing no matter what others think. You wrote for your own amusement. If you amuse others, that's just a bonus. I've noticed that there might be a problem with your hyperactivity that you transfer into your enthusiasm for writing this story.

"Thank you."

"Hold on, I'm not finished. I love your story and would like to know if I could publish it in a journal I am presently working on.

"Well, I'm not done and to tell you the truth, I have no idea when I will be done with this story, I kind of like the idea of this to be between my friends, you, and your wife for right now. But don't get me wrong, I am gratified that you like my story well enough to publish it. I'm just not ready."

"I understand. When you do get done with your story, you know where to find me."

"Thank you sir."

"You have a gift for writing. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Now get back to your friends. I saw you looking that way, wanting to get back to reading." He playfully wagged his index finger at me.

"Thank you again."

"You are welcome. Just remember what I said."

"Yes sir." I go back to my friends not really reading but reflecting on what Edgar Allan Poe said.

"Doctor, may I speak to you alone?" I asked.

"Certainly."

"I know that you know about him and those around him."

"Yes."

"Should we tell him that in January 1842, Virginia will show signs of Tuberculosis? "

"No! Even though there is not a cure, time when you tell him will be changed. The stories he will write will come sooner or he may not write them at all."

"Okay. Thank you. At least I asked you, Timelord before doing that. Thank you again."

"Don't hesitate to ask me about these things all right?"

"Savvy."

"And please don't mention The Raven. He wrote that later."

"I know that."

"I don't think the others know though."

"I'll tell them." I walk over to the others.

"Don't say anything about The Raven. He hasn't written it yet." I whisper in each of my companions ears.

"I won't." they each whispered back.

"It is getting late, would you like to stay overnight?" the famous author asked us. We all looked at the Doctor because he was the driver.

"Well…….I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

"Fantastic!" EAP said, "Let me show you to your rooms." He led us to two separate rooms. Boys in the largest room and girls in the other room. Needless to say we were a bit uncomfortable but I slept on the floor.

When morning came, we each took turns using the restroom but we girls got up earlier so we could use the facilities first. Smart us. For when all of the boys got out, a huge stink cloud settled over the Poe's humble home. We ran away along with our host and hostess to the city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to wait for the stink cloud to go away. At about 1:00 pm, we noticed that the cloud could no longer be seen. We joined our now friends Edgar Allan Poe and Virginia for afternoon tea. During our afternoon tea, we had an amusing conversation that had to do with hats, ducks, and an army of squirrels. We had to go so we said our goodbyes.

"You are all welcome back anytime." Virginia assured us.

"We thank you for letting us spend the night at your home." Jareth said as we walked away.

"I think I may miss them." Jack said.

"Me too." I added

"Alright, now that we are going, let's go back to our other names." Cat said.

"Oh thank Spock." Joker sighed.

"Well Joker, I'm proud of you, you didn't" I started as Joker took out his switchblade and killed a random person as we nearing the TARDIS. "I guess I spoke too soon. RUN!" I finished.

"You didn't have to do that." Jareth pointed out to Joker.

"Well, that guy was looking at me funny."

"Um, that was a female." Damsel-in-stress corrected the Joker.

"Whatev."

We run into the TARDIS and go back to where we were which, was the Underground.

"Nice alliteration DethRose." Damsel-in-stress complemented me.

"Thank you."

"Okay well I'm going to my room."

Damsel-in-stress went to her room. The rest of us, Jareth, Joker, the Doctor , and me stayed in the throne room.

"Hey Jareth, can you do the spinney crystal thingy for me?" I batted my eyes.

"Sure." Deliciously Gorgeous did the spinney crystal thingy. It was groovy.

Joker wiped off his switchblade and watched Jareth as well. The Doctor was taking a nap so as Jareth was done, we looked for whipped cream and a feather to pull a prank on the Doctor. When we found the items of our quest, we put the whipped cream on the Doctor's hand and tickled his nose with the feather. You can guess what happened. But the Doctor didn't wake up. We looked for slices of cheese to get wet and throw on his face. Haha! He screamed. It was so hilarious. We chased each other around pretending to be ghosts, when damsel-in-stress came back in.

"What are you four doing?" she asked.

"We are playing ghost tag. Wanna join?" The Doctor answered.

"I've got nothing to lose." She shrugged.

"Not true. You have your soul to lose! Mwa Hahahahaha!" I joked.

We played for while then quit because we were hungry. We ate then watched a movie with popcorn! Of course the movie was horror because it was dark outside. IT was it's name. Of course I was the only one who cowered behind my hands because I was the only one there who was afraid of clowns. My friends were of course so understanding that when I went to bed, they dressed up as clowns and crept into my room while I was asleep. They scared the Sugar Honey Iced Tea out of me. Needless to say, I threw copies of Celine Dion's last CD at them. Und they ran away in fright.

"Ah. It's good to be me." I say as I lay back down to fall back asleep.

**A/N: Wow! Sorry it took so long to write this. I was lazy and well this chapter was 8 pages long in my notebook. Usually it lasts only 3-4 pages. To make up for it, I will put out a couple more chapters tomorrow. DON'T KILL ME!!**

**Joking.**

**Joker: Do it.**

Celine Dion is a trademark of Canada. IT is by Stephen King. _The Raven_ is by Edgar Allan Poe. The Adventures Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag is by me Christa aka DethRose aka Stupid aka Oompa Loompa.


	15. Adventure 12

**The 12****th**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**

As I woke up, I noticed that there were no sounds. This was weird. There were always sounds. I got dressed and walked out of my room. There was no one around. Apparently something happened.

I walked to the kitchen where splashes of who knows what were splattered on walls, floor, and counters. I had to eat, so I made scrambled eggs. I didn't burn them! I ate and then decided to search for my friends. I finally found them. Zonks the clown was holding them hostage.

"Leave my friends alone!" I shouted as I prepared to attack.

"You left me in the Labyrinth. Now your friends will pay."

"How much do you want?"

"Ummmmm…. Their lives."

"No!" Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag shouted. We all stare at him.

"What are you going to do about it?" Zonks the clown sneered.

"This." Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag turned into Larry The Imaginary Trash Bag and suffocated Zonks.

"Yay we're free!" my friends shouted in joy.

"Thank you Larry." I said.

"You are quite welcome." He said as he turned back into a plastic bag.

"What do we do with the body?" Rockin' Socks asked.

"Just leave it. I am certain that a creature will eat it." Deliciously Gorgeous remarked.

"Let's go before that happens." Damsel-in-stress shivered.

"Yes, let's go."

We walked back to the castle and waited for breakfast. I didn't eat. We were a silent bunch.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" the Doctor suggested.

"Actually, I'm a bit tired." Jareth replied.

"I'm tired as well." Damsel-in-stress added.

"Me too." Larry TIPB said.

"Fine, I'll go by myself." The Doctor said in a huff.

"What do you want to do Rekoj?" I asked Joker.

"I want to play darts."

So we did. I was so good, I was so good, I kept on hitting the ceiling. Purple Rain got bull's-eye every time. Lucky. We flicked cards to see if we could slice through a watermelon. It turns out, we could.

"I have to say, you are one weird girl."

"Thank you. It's my duty."

"Hahaha! You said duty."

We continued to flick cards at various fruit. Some ran away.

"I'm bored. What do we do now?" I asked.

"Make weapons of mass destruction."

"You know, that would normally sound fun, but today, it doesn't."

"Hmmmm…make weapons of minimal destruction?"

"It still doesn't sound fun."

"Let's swordfight!"

"Okay!"

We had a swordfight. I won because I watch the Highlander

"There can be only one!" I yell as I pretended to cut off Boom's head. Fake blood rained down as a mannequin's head plopped down on the ground.

"What are you two doing?" The Doctor asked us while raising an eyebrow.

"We were swordfighting. Now we are talking to you. Now we don't know what to do." The Joker said.

"Why don't you watch a movie?"

"Alright."

We went to the stage that we built two adventures back and watched The Dark Knight. We recited all the lines along with the movie. When the movie was over, we went to the kitchen to eat lunch. The others soon joined us in our meal.

"So how was your naps?" I asked those who napped.

"When I woke up, I stumbled on a dart." Jareth replied sourly.

"Oops. I'm sorry." I said.

"Be more careful next time."

"Yeah whatev."

"I mean it."

"Oh alright."

"Next why don't we play air hockey?" Joker asked.

"Where are we going to," damsel-in-stress was cut off with a poof when an air hockey machine appeared, "Nevermind."

"Who goes first?" I asked.

"I will against the Doctor." Joker replied.

"I don't want to play."

"Are you afraid that he'll beat you?"

"No."

"Then why don't you play."

"Fine."

So thus starts the epic air hockey tournament. The Joker won over the Doctor. I played the Joker next. That game lasted five hours with the Joker winning. Damsel-in-stress played against Jareth and lost. Then came the epic battle. Good vs. Evil.

"I'm not evil!" Joker said.

"I was talking about Deliciously Gorgeous."

"What?!"

"Okay fine. Joker you are the evil one."

"But."

"You make things blow up, you killed that female cause she looked at you funny, and you tell jokes to people and then they die."

"Fine!"

Thus started the epic battle between Good vs. Evil. Since evil never seems to prevail in movies and because the Joker was better, he won. This game lasted one day.

"Wow. This is starting to sound like 24." Damsel-in-stress remarked.

"No it doesn't. I just thought a one day battle of air hockey would be groovy." I said.

"Why do you say groovy?" Jareth asked.

"Because "cool" is so overused. Groovy is a groovy word."

"That makes sense."

"Thank you."

"What do I get for winning." Rekoj asked me.

"You get another one of you weapons."

"Oh no." the others backed away.

"What? Think about it, he would just melt down the trophy and make a weapon with it."

"She's right. I will."

"So which weapon do you want back?"

"I want my Uzi."

"Er… okay." I handed over Joker's Uzi.

"Yes! Now I can rule the world!"

"Not really. You are still under the power of the author's authorness."

"Huh?"

"You still cannot kill anyone."

"Crap."

"Bwahahahahaha!"

"Thank Spock." Damsel-in-stress sighed.

This ends this adventure. See you next time and remember to review!

_A/N: So I came up_ _with an idea. I'll put on the next commercial break after this one. First I have to ask my teacher if I can do it. _


	16. Commercial Break 4

**Commercial Break 4**

Are you bored?

"Not this again."

Well are you?

"No, I'm very irritated."

Too bad.

"Too bad nothing. Get your butt back here! I'll kill ya!"

You can't kill me for I bring you an offer. Anyway I'm just an disembodied voice and you can be one too!

"Yeah right! As soon as I find you, you are so dead."

I'm telling you! I am a disembodied voice! If you send in 10.99 dollars, you can be one too!

"There you are!"

Ahhhhhhhhh!!

"Get back here!"

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!_

**We are sorry to say that the other announcer has had an accident. The other person is going to jail. We are very sorry. From now on, I will be the announcer. Remember, just send in 10.99 dollars and you too can be a disembodied voice!**


	17. Adventure 13: Attack Of The Commercial B

**The 13****th**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag**_**: Attack Of The Commercial Breaks**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dethklok.**

"What do you have there?" I asked damsel-in-stress.

"It's my pet potato that I bought!" she said.

"Oh."

"Do you want to see what it can do?"

"I have nothing better to do at the moment. Sure."

I watched as damsel-in-stress commanded her pet potato to do a variety of tricks.

"Groovy." I say.

"I'm working on potty training it."

"Hello."

"Ahhhhh! Who are you and where are you?!" I screamed.

"Sorry. I am only Joker. I bought the disembodied voice. I just got it today."

"You freaked me out. Where are you?"

"I'm standing beside you on your left side."

"Yeah, I don't know where though." Joker pokes me.

"Oh, there you are." I wave my hands in front of me blindly trying to find Purple Rain because he moved. I quickly quit when I see an old man in a rocking chair with the Doctor asleep on the floor.

"Back in my day, we had to walk to school in 15 feet of snow, 15 miles away. We stayed in school 15 hours a day and had to walk those 15 miles back home through 42 feet of snow. We ate squirrel cause there was nothing else to eat…."

"Doctor!" I yelled.

"Huh?" the Doctor woke up.

"Why did you buy fun?"

"I was bored."

"Uh huh." Just then, 1,000 dollars appeared in my pocket. I turn to Deliciously Gorgeous. "Let me guess, you were tired of your meaningless existence."

"Yes."

"Thank you."

"Toot!" a noise erupted from the old man in the rocking chair.

"I thought the directions said to beware of pollutants! Run away!" I shouted as a green cloud of old man fart rushed towards us. We ran out of the castle just in time. We decided to run to the garden for the fresh smell of flowers and to wait for the green cloud to dissipate. We waited there for hours. We were so bored of waiting so I turned some flowers into tigers and we watched them chase goblins around. I also made Dethklok appear just because I felt like it.

"Where ares we?" Toki said, "I was just buildings a model."

"Sorry I got bored so I made you appear." I said.

"Scho, you juscht made usch appear?" William Murderface asked.

"Yeah. I'm the author of this story. I can make anything happen."

"Yeah rights." Squisgar snorted.

"Yeah, thanks for agreeing me."

"So you can do anything huh?" Nathan Explosion taunted me.

"Yes. And just to prove my point, I will make a dragon appear."

"Yeah, uh huh." A voice said behind me.

"SPOCK! Quit doing that Chuckles!" I yelled. I made a dragon appear. "Meet Domo."

"Wows. A reals dragon!" Squisgar's eyes were wide in disbelief.

"I told you so. Now can you play us some songs?" I asked Nathan.

"Do we have a choice?" Pickles asked.

"No."

"Fine then." I made Dethklok's instruments appear and they started playing.

_A/N: I can't believe I finished a whole spiral notebook with these stories! 70 whole pages of random insanity! Woo Hoo! I thank my reviewers who made this possible. I especially thank Damsel-in-stress who urged me to write this. THANK YOU!! Don't worry, this is __**NOT**__ the end of our favorite imaginary plastic bag. Just the end of my spiral notebook. I got another one for other adventures. Be kind: Review._


	18. Adventure 14: Root Beer Addictiions

**The 14****th**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: My Root Beer Addiction**

"Can we goes home nows?" Toki whined.

"Don't you want a tour of this place?" I asked.

"It's my castle, I'll give them the tour." Jareth pointedly said.

"Alright, alright."

"Do you guys have any beer?" Pickles looked around.

"Uh, I'm only 18, the worst I've ever drunk was hard lemonade." I said.

"That still doesn't answer my question."

"Jareth, do we?"

"Yes. Joker, go get it."

"Hey you, yes you with the face," Joker pointed to a trembling goblin, "go get the beer."

We wait as the goblin takes it's precious time retrieving the beer. Little did Pickles know, it was Root Beer.

"Did you guys think I would add an alcoholic beverage to the mix?" I ask my readers, "Really, this story is random enough without getting that stuff involved."

"I thought you said you had beer!" Pickles fumed.

"And we do, you just didn't specify which kind." Jareth said.

"I love root beer." I sighed as I got five bottles, went into a corner and started draining them dry. If anyone got close, I snarled at them. You learn not to mess with my root beer.

"Er, okay. I think we should leave her alone. I think she might bite." Damsel-in-stress backed away slowly.

I got up and dusted myself off. "Sorry about that." I blush.

"BOO!" Joker still with his disembodied voice snuck up behind me and scared the Sugar Honey Iced Tea out of me but not literally thankfully.

"Ahhhhhhh!! Get back here!" I shout.

"Is that a ghost she's trying to chase?" Nathan asked.

"No. It's just the Joker. He bought the disembodied voice." Damsel-in-stress said.

"Oh, can wees goes now?" Squisgar asked.

"Sure." Deliciously Gorgeous made Dethklok disappear.

"Come Tomato." Damsel-in-stress said.

"Uh, who is Tomato?" the Doctor asked.

"Tomato is my pet potato."

"Ooooooookay." The Doctor goes on his way to walk.

"I give up." I said as I stopped trying to catch the Joker. "Go ahead."

"Finally." The Joker said as he was out of breath. He started to come back as a human when I made my move. I snuck up behind him and…..

"BOO!!" I shouted as I slapped him across the head. Rekoj jumped up in the air. "Now we're even."

"I think the cloud is gone." Jareth pointed out.

"Let's go back inside." Damsel-in-stress commented.

"How about we go through the Labyrinth?" Joker suggested.

"You know….. I LOVE THAT IDEA!!" I shouted.

_A/N: Next chapter Mwa hahahahaha!_


	19. Adventure 15: Through The Labyrinth

**The 15****th**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: ****Through The Labyrinth**

"Alright, let's split into three groups. So pick you teams." I said.

"I choose the Doctor." Damsel-in-stress picked.

"I choose DethRose." Joker picked me.

"Then I guess I'll go with Domo." Jareth rolled his eyes.

"Readers, if you remember, Domo is the dragon." I said to the readers.

"What's wrong with Domo?" I asked. Domo's eyes went large and threatened to fill with tears.

"He doesn't talk."

"Yeah well, he's better company than the goblins."

"That's true. Very well then, when do we start?"

"I think we should gather up supplies."

"No! Well at least food and drink. Remember: this is a contest." I reminded my companions.

"Is there any rules?" Joker asked.

"No using magic except if someone is in danger."

"Alright then, you don't use your power of authority except if someone is in danger." Jareth said.

"Where do we start." Domo asked using telepathy.

"In the beginning duh. No, you see that hill waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back there?" I point to a speck.

"No."

"Well anyway that's where we start."

"So when do we start?" Domo telepathied.

"How about tomorrow? That will give us time to rest and get ready."

"No. Let's start in five hours." The Doctor said.

"Oh alright, in five hours."

"Do we get a time limit?" Jareth asks.

"No, we just beat each other to this castle. But just to make it more exciting, we will have only 13 hours. Hey, I guess there will be a time limit after all! And Domo, no flying. Doctor, no using any of your gadgets or the TARDIS."

"Can I bring Tomato?" damsel-in-stress asked.

"Sure, I don't see the harm in it."

"Yay! I'll go get her right now!" she ran to her room.

"So DethRose, does damsel-in-stress like me?" the Doctor asked.

"Yeah, but then we all like you. She likes you more." I wink at him.

"Oh boy. Groovy. Hey! That is fun to say. Groovy, groovy, groovy, groovy."

"I'm back!" damsel-in-stress holds up Tomato.

"Great! Let's watch a movie while we wait to go."

We watched **The Blues Brothers **to give us an adrenaline rush. It worked. Soon we were singing along with The Blues Brothers.

"Jareth, I need you to take us to that hill." I said, "It's time."

"Alright, everybody hold hands!" Jareth said in a playful lispy sing-song voice.

"Groan." We groaned and rolled our eyes.

We were now at the staring point. Jareth made a cuckoo clock appear with the appointed 13 hours. We were now waiting for the last five minutes to begin.

"Can we start now?"

"No. We have to" I was interrupted by the clock, "Now!" I shouted.

We were all running down the hill to the entrance of the labyrinth. Suspenseful music was heard in the background. We had to follow each other until we came to a clearing in which we broke up into our groups.

"Can you stop with the music now! It's getting annoying."

We zoom to the Doctor and damsel-in-stress.

"Which way do we go Tomato?" damsel-in-stress holds Tomato up to her ear, "Okay, Doctor we go to the left." This takes them to a hidden clearing where fairies were flying around.

"Oh look at them!" the Doctor was entranced. He held out his hand so one could land. Damsel-in-stress slapped his hand.

"Don't do that! Fairies are rabid vicious creatures and will bite you!"

"Don't be silly." He said.

We zoom in to get a closer look at the fairy. It's eyes were huge and completely black. It had large pointed sharp teeth and no nose. It was growling.

"Ew!"

"I told you so."

Let's leave them and go to Deliciously Gorgeous and Domo.

"It's about time you called me Deliciously Gorgeous in this adventure. I was afraid you have forgotten.

"Who are you talking to?" Domo questioned telepathically

"DethRose the author."

"So which way do we go?"

"Um, let's see, the last time I went through this labyrinth was about 1,000 years ago. You see, the labyrinth is alive. It knows what's going on. So it changes to fit the runners so it will be different for each team depending on their strengths and weaknesses. I'd say we go straight."

"Straight it is then. By the way, why do you wear tight pants?"

"What's wrong with the type of pants I wear?" Deliciously Gorgeous said indignantly.

"Nothing."

"I love my tight pants."

The two were left in awkward silence.

Finally we zoom to the Joker and me.

"I spy something gray. Something gray." I said.

"It's the wall." Greeny said in an annoyed voice. We were playing I Spy but it wasn't working out too well.

"Yes. Okay, let's quit playing I Spy. Which way do you want to go?"

"Let's just jump on the wall and walk like that."

"You know, I've always wondered why Sarah or anybody else never thought about doing that in the first place. Maybe it's just Jareth's fearatude." I ponder. We climb on top of the wall and walk right. We soon hear a whistle blow.

"No climbing on the wall!" a pigmy midget chipmunk named Froderick shouted in a squeaky voice.

"Now we know why." I say as I jump down and gracefully fall to my butt. "Shitake! That hurts!"

"Hahahaha!" Chuckles laughed then fell flat on his face.

"Jokes on you." I mutter.

"Ow."

"Come on get up." I help him to his feet. He dusts himself off.

"Thanks."

"Bitte."

"I once had a dog with no nose." Joker said to the pigmy midget chipmunk named Froderick.

"How did he smell?" Froderick asked.

"Bad." Froderick thought about that.

"Stroke!" he said and died.

"You enjoy that don't you?" I asked Smiley.

"Yes I do." He proudly said smiling.

"Let's keep going." I said shaking my head.

We fade back to Jareth and Domo.

"…."

"…."

"Okay, enough of this awkward silence! I can't stand not being acknowledged. It's just not me." Jareth the crybaby broke down. "I need attention 24/7 or I will go crazy." He sat down. Poor Domo didn't know what to do so he just stood awkwardly waiting for the Goblin King to stop crying.

"Okay. So how has your day been?" Domo responded cautiously.

"Oh I'm glad you ask." Jareth jumps up and starts to tell him about not only his day but also his life. Poor Domo.

We fade to the Doctor and damsel-in-stress.

"Now which way do we go?" she asks the Doctor.

"How about we stop and talk for a while."

"Er…..that will cut our chances to win. Let's walk and talk.

"Okay." The Doctor puts on his adorable glasses. I swear he looks cuter with those glasses on. "Hmmm….I can't think of anything to talk about. Wait, I know! Slitheens!"

"You mean the booger people?" her eyes lit up.

"Hahahahaha! Yes."

"Well, they fart, they look like boogers and they are very rude."

"I know! They should be called Boogeens!"

"But they don't dance!"

"Hahahaha!"

"So………"

"DethRose tells me that you like me."

"I'm going to kill her!" damsel-in-stress muttered darkly.

"I asked her. Don't kill her! If you do, that will mean the end of the story and we will be stuck in one spot or wandering around with no meaning!"

"Oh! I forgot. Yes I do like you." She blushed.

Lets leave them alone and get back to me!

The Joker and I wandered around until we saw the blue worm.

"Awwwwww….."

"'Ello!" the cute blue worm said.

"Hello." I cooed, "What's your name?"

"Oh for Spock sakes! DethRose get a hold of yourself!"

"My name is Reginald."

"Just like Sir Elton John's real name!"

"Yes." Reginald agreed.

"Which way do we go to get to the castle?" Joker asked "Left or right?"

"Neither way. You go through the wall."

"Oooo…just like the movie. Come on!" I grab Joker's arm and drag him.

"Wait! You'll uh, hit the wall!" he yelled.

"No I won't." I lead him through the wall. "See?"

"Groovy."

"Thank you Reginald. You are the cutest."

"Thanks miss." Reginald blushed. Suddenly we all hear a terrifying crashing sound. "Oh no!" he yelled.

"W-w-w-what is it?!" I asked trembling.

"My wife!"

We hear another crashing sound as a huge purplish pink worm explodes out of the wall.

"Ala blooah blah!" she shouted. She was the ugliest thing I have seen in a long time.

"Holy Moscow Joker!" I shouted.

"S-s-s-s-sorry d-d-d-d-dear." Reginald said weakly.

"Blah oooo hoot lah kaka!" the monstrous worm blurted.

"I-i-i-i-i-i w-w-w-was j-j-j-j-j-just h-h-h-h-h-helping th-th-th-them." Reginald stammered.

"Hey! Leave the poor thing alone! He was just helping us." I took a step towards the raging worm.

"Loolooloolooloo!" She charged at me. The Joker moved me out of the way just in time. The worm faceplanted into the wall and ended up dying.

"Thank you for freeing me from her. You have no idea how horrible she was. She would- oh Spock it was horrible!" He cried. I picked him up and let him cry.

"It's alright. Would you like to come with us?"

"Ye-hiccup-es." He nodded his head.

"Here get on my shoulder."

"Thank you again." Reginald sniffled. Joker rolled his eyes.

"Which way do we go now?" Joker asked Reginald.

"If you go left, you will go straight to the castle. If you go right, you will go all around and then to the castle and that will take longer."

"Let's take the long way. I want to see the scenery." Joker said.

"Fine with me."

Let's go back to Jareth and poor Domo.

Domo had a gun pointed to his head and was about to pull the trigger as Jareth continues to chinwag.

"…….and so enough about me." Jareth ended.

"FINALLY! THANK YOU SPOCK!"

"Well. How dare you!" Jareth the chinwagger and Domo get into an argument.

Looks like these two have some major issues to settle first. Let's go back to the Doctor and damsel-in-stress. Wait, where are they? Oh crud. Ummm…..let's go back to my group.

"Let's get back on the wall. Technically it's not cheating." Joker said.

We climbed back on the wall. Thankfully this time no one bothered us. I guess after the Joker told that joke to the pigmy midget chipmunk named Froderick, they weren't going to bother us.

"Halt!" a voice boomed out.

"Huh?" we three asked confused.

"To pass you must first answer correctly this riddle."

"Shoot." I said.

"Okay." Joker takes out his Uzi.

"No! I mean tell us the riddle." I said as I push the Joker's Uzi away.

"You never let me have any fun." He pouted.

"I let you tell jokes." I reminded him.

"Heh hm…may I begin?" the voice said.

"Yes."

"What has four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?" the voice rang out.

"The answer is man's life. A baby walks on all fours. An adult walks on two legs. A old man uses a cane." The Joker smiled.

"Wrong."

"What?!"

"It's a donkey! In the morning it has four legs. In the afternoon you chop two off. In the evening you glue a leg back on." I stated proudly.

"Correct."

"How is that right?!" the Joker fumed stupefied.

"Thing are not always what they seem here." Reginald offered.

"Patience young Padawan. You have much to learn." I quoted Star Wars.

"You may pass." The voice was thrilled, " no one has ever answered that riddle right. They always state what that painted man said."

We passed……..gas. Sorry. We also passed through the entrance way to a forest. We were not the only ones here. The other two were Jareth and Domo.

"Hey! Nice to see you two again." I said as I hug Jareth then Domo.

"Where are the Doctor and damsel-in-stress?"

"I have no idea."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Get these Dalek Fairies away form me!" damsel-in-stress ran into our square.

"Exterminate! Exterminate!" the Dalek Fairies squeaked in their high-pitched robotic voices.

"Daleks aren't fairies!" a reader shouted out.

"Shut up you fool! Yes they are. At least these are."

Back to the story.

"So there you are. Let me get those pesky things away from you. Here Dalek Fairies, I got a nice world for you to destroy." I open up a Tupperware container.

"Exterminate! Exterminate!" they squeaked as they flew into the container. I put the lid back on.

"There you go. Where is the Doctor?"

"He was attacked by the fieries. He is now in many pieces. My Doctor. Gone." She cried as we tried to comfort her.

"Why is she crying?" a voice whispered.

"The Doctor died."

"No I didn't! I'm right here!" the voice said. All of us looked towards the voice. It really was him! He was alive! Except something was different about him.

"Do I look different?" He said.

"Just your hair."

"Oh! Am I ginger?"

"Yes."

"Yes! Alright! Finally! I'm Ginger!" he did a victory dance.

"DOCTOR!" damsel-in-stress jumped up ran to hug him.

"Oh everyone!" I called everybody's attention, "This is Reginald." I point to my shoulder where he was staying.

"'Ello." He said.

"Awww…he's so cute!" Jareth said.

"Ooooooooooooooooookay."

"Hello Reginald. My name is the Doctor and this is damsel-in-stress."

"I'm Jareth."

"I'm Domo."

"Nice to meet you all."

"So is the race off?"

"No we race against the clock. Wait, how many hours do we have left?" I asked Jareth.

"Ummm….three hours."

"You know of we go back to where you found me and go left we will be at the castle in less than three minutes." Reginald said.

So we all went back and turned left. Soon with five minutes to spare, we were at the castle.

"Whew! I'm beat!"

"I'm sleepy."

"I'm hungry. I'm leaving. This is too weird." Domo said and flew off.

"I'm mike Tyson."

"Huh?"

"Just joking" Joker joked.

"Perfect place for an ending. You know I _almost_ put a cliffhanger somewhere in this adventure. I wanted to sooooooooooo bad it almost hurt. I decided against because death by reviewers is not how I want to die."

_A/N: I do not own Star Wars. The dog with no nose joke, as well as the jokes that kill were taken from Monty Python's Flying Circus and they want them back please. The riddle's answer is taken from the great comedian Emo Phillips. _


	20. Commercial Break 5

**Commercial Break 5**

We interrupt this program to give you a limited time offer. For real, readers! PAY ATTENTION!!

Good. Now that I have your attention, I am going to be making Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag t-shirts. For 12.00 dollars, you can own one. Send me an email, or pm me if you want one. I'll get back to you. I WILL NOT GIVE ANYONE ELSE YOUR INFORMATION! THIS IS TOTALLY PRIVATE!! I will get back to you and send you the t-shirt in, well, it depends on how many t-shirts are wanted. But I will try to send it to you in at least six weeks or less. REMEMBER! This is a limited time offer.

If you want to see the t-shirt design, I will eventually put it on my profile but first I have to scan the picture.

THANK YOU FOR PAYING ATTENTION!! And reviewing.


	21. Adventure 16: I Am So Not Twitterpated!

**The 16****th**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: **_**I Am So Not Twitterpated!**_

The Bog Of Eternal stench stinks, but this stinks worse.

After our adventure into the labyrinth and we came back…Urgh! Stupid writer's block! Let me start with a different idea.

"Wake up!" Joker knocked on the door before he came in my room.

"Not again." I thought. "Hang on." I muttered.

"Hurry up, something's come up." He urged.

"What time is it?"

"It's 3:00 am. Come on! Get up!"

"What's happened now?"

"We can't find the Doctor or damsel-in-stress."

"Did you look everywhere?"

"Yes we did."

"Well, get out so I can get dressed."

"Hurry up!" he said as he left.

I got dressed fast not realizing that I still had my gray bear feet slippers.

"Oh my Spock! She's a werebear!" Larry cried out.

"No I'm…." I look down at my feet. "Oh sorry." I took off my slippers. "Is that better?"

"Not really. You have to go get your shoes on. We're going outside to look for the Doctor and damsel-in-stress." Joker said.

I went back to my room and put on my converse. I had a feeling that this was going to be a bad day. I mean really, I am defiantly not a morning person.

"Is this better?"

"Yes, now come on!" the Joker yanked me outside where Jareth, Larry TIPB, Bill the cashier, Bob the store owner and the rest of the Imaginary Landers were at.

"Should we break into groups?"

"Yes. DethRose, Jareth and Larry, you three are with me. The rest of you are in the other group." Joker took hold of the situation.

"What do we do?" Bill asked.

"You look for the Doctor and damsel-in-stress everywhere. Now get going!" Jareth said impatiently.

"Sir, yes ma'am!" the Imaginary Landers went on their way.

"One day I will get them back." Jareth vowed under his breath.

"Cheer up Deliciously Gorgeous," I said darkly, "maybe something might happen to them."

"You'll do that?"

"No. They still don't know any better."

We went on our way looking for our lost friends. I noticed that the TARDIS was gone.

"That explains it, they went away. I hope that they will return. I'm going back to sleep."

I went back to my room but couldn't go to sleep so I decided to explore by myself. It was dark so I made a flashlight appear. I felt that shadows were moving around me and who knows, maybe they were. Anyway, I came to a hallway in which I have never seen before.

"This would be an excellent adventure." I thought to myself. There were many doors on each side. I went into the first door. It was just an empty room. I went into the second door. There was only a chair in the middle of the room. I closed the door. I went in the third room. Only a birdcage was in there and nothing else. I skipped to the last door. I slowly opened it.

"Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak!" the door creaked open.

"This needs some WD-40." I said as I made a can of WD-40 appear so I can spray it on the hinges. "Much better."

I looked into the room. It was filled with Jareth's crystals. That's when I heard something behind me.

"What are you doing here?" it was Jareth.

"I was exploring."

"Well come on. You didn't see what was in the fourth room did you?" he glared at me.

"No. I don't want to know either."

"So you don't know?" his shoulders sagged down and looked relieved.

"No. Why? Is there a secret dungeon that you put people in that didn't do anything but you wanted to torture them anyway in there?"

"No." he laughed.

"Okay then, I'm going." I turned around. "By the way, why do you have all those crystals?" I asked.

"I have them because they are magic. When I get upset, I tend to break them. It's just easier if I have a room full of them so I don't have to go far to get another one."

"Alright then, want to join me in exploring the castle?"

"I know everything there is know about the castle. But I would like to hear your thoughts on the castle."

"Come on then." I led the way while he followed observing my thoughts. We came to a room that he never showed us in the tour. It was two stories tall and half as large as the throne room. It had lots of books, chairs, tables, puzzles, and board games.

"Wow! I didn't know you had all of this stuff!" I stood on amazement.

"you never asked." He smiled.

"What kind of books do you enjoy reading?"

"I like just about everything."

The room was painted a deep purple. The bookcases went all the to the ceiling and were full of books, puzzles and games. I took out Checkers.

"Want to play? I'm warning you, I am very good."

"I would be delighted."

We played a game that lasted an hour, Jareth won.

"Good game." I said.

"Thank you."

"Do you hear something?" I asked as a faint whoosh, whoosh, screech sound was barely audible.

"Yes. Do you want to check it out with me?" Jareth asked.

"Okay sure."

We left the room and searched for the noise.

"I think the Doctor and damsel-in-stress are back."

"Me too. Lets go sneak up on them and scare them."

Soon we found the TARDIS but still didn't find our friends. We found the Joker and asked where they are.

"Well, they went to their rooms." Joker said. "Where did you two go to?"

"I was exploring when Jareth snuck up behind me. Then we explored more of the castle." I said.

"Did you find anything interesting?"

"Not really." Jareth said quickly.

"Right. I'm going back to bed."

"Nice boxers." I said. They had the Batman signal on them. He blushed.

"Excuse me." Joker left.

"What do you mean we didn't find anything interesting? What about the room?"

"That will be our secret. That room is where I go to unwind. No one but you knows about it. Please keep it a secret."

"I will. In fact, I will make to where no one else can find the room." I put an authoress spell on the room.

"Thank you." He said as he hugged me.

"Oooooooo! I see you hugging!" a familiar voice that can only be the one and only damsel-in-stress.

"Ummmm...Hello." Jareth said as he let go of me.

"So…what was that about?"

"Jareth was cracking my back."

"Really."

"No. I just felt like hugging someone." I pouted.

"Uh huh. I think someone is Twitterpated."

"I am so not Twitterpated!" I said again pouting.

"Sure you are." Damsel-in-stress rolled her eyes.

"Believe what you want then."

"Where did you and the Doctor go to?" Jareth said getting tired of us arguing.

"We went to see William Shakespeare."

"Blech! I'm glad I didn't go." I said.

"Why? Shakespeare is awesome."

"No he's not. Just about everyone of the characters in the plays ends up dead.

"You had a bad experience with Shakespeare didn't you."

"The first work of his I had to read was _A Midsummer's Night Dream_."

"Ouch."

"We had to read for English. I didn't understand it. Even the movie didn't help. I ended up failing the test. I threw the book across the room and I think I tore it up when I went home. I did like _Julius Caesar_ though."

"That is a good one." Jareth said.

"You don't like Shakespeare?!" the Doctor came in and gasped.

"We already went through this." I said pointedly.

"Someone is cross."

"I didn't get much sleep and I'm hungry. That's a double for me." I said as I headed to the kitchen. I made myself some Count Chocula with chocolate milk just to be different. I felt much better after I ate and went back to where my friends were still talking.

"Did anyone tell the Imaginary Landers that we found them?" I asked Jareth.

"Oh no." his eyes got huge.

"Hang on." I used my powers of authority to make them appear.

"WE didn't find them, but we found this." Bob the storeowner said and he held up a badly battered quill. "You can have it."

"Thanks! I've always wanted a quill!" I exclaimed.

"Don't use it! That quill is cursed. It will end this adventure now!" Jareth reached and grabbed the quill form my hands. He made the quill disappear.

"Well." Zombie Chipmunk said indignantly.

"He learned a word!" everyone said in amazement.

"I'm up now." Joker said as he wiped the eye boogers from his eyes.

"What happened to your boxers?" I annoyingly said.

"I'm still wearing them." He straightened up.

"I'm just messing with you. You know that don't you."

"Yes." I hugged him.

"Bloody writers block! Go away! You're not wanted here!"

"What was that about?" Joker replied warily.

"I think I might be catching the writer's block virus. I better lie down before anyone else gets it."

I went to my room and waited for the dreaded writer's block virus to away.


	22. Adventure 17: The Ghost With The Most

**The 17****th**** Adventure Of Larry TIPB: The Ghost With The Most**

"I am tired of this writer's block virus!" I shouted angrily. I ran out of my room not bothering to dress in regular clothes. I was in my pajamas with monkeys and vines on them. I ran into the Joker.

"Nice pajamas." He laughed.

"Whatever Batboy. Do you know anyone who can rid of my virus?" I asked.

"There is one person but I do not say his name aloud."

"What's his name?"

"Well, do know how to play charades?"

"Yes."

"Okay then." The Joker started to act out what was to be said.

"Two words. First word." Joker nodded. He acted out the first word by pointing to his arms and then two times at his side.

"It has six legs." He nodded and then pointed to his teeth and made little pinchers with his fingers.

"It's a type of bug." He nodded again. He made scurrying movements.

"It's a roach!" He shook his head. He then made elaborate movements like he was flying.

"Beetle?" he nodded. "Okay now do the second word." He then picked up two invisible things. He made a pouring movement.

"Pour?" he shook his head no. He made the first word again then he made a splat movement with his hand and fist.

"Beetlesplat?" he made then beetle movement again then did the splat only this time he made little scatters with his fingers.

"Beetlejuice!"

"Yes! Say it two more times." He said finally.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"

"Ah hahahahahaHA! It's show time!" a voice rang out. A figure suddenly came through the ceiling and landed right in front of me. He had blond hair sticking straight up. His skin was white. I mean _white. _He had green scum on the left side of his head. He wore a black and white pinstripe suit. I could see his green teeth. Ewww!

"Hey. I think she's checking me out." He said to my friend the Joker.

"Who the hell are you?" I glared as I did my best Stewie Griffin dialect.

"I'm Beetlejuice. Call me BJ." BJ said.

"So you can get rid of my writer's block virus?"

"Yes. I'm The Ghost With The Most babes." He smiled showing off those horribly green teeth and bugs running across. Man his breath stunk worse than a skunk that fell into some sh-

"Hey! No cussing."

"Don't call me babes." I glared daggers at him.

"Sure thing………………………Babes. Hahahahaha!"

"I forgot to tell you that he is extremely uh, annoying." Joker says trying to be helpful.

"I kinda figured that out after he appeared."

"You needed something?" BJ tapped his foot.

"I need you to get rid of my virus."

"Ooooooooooo….ya see, I want to be free and the only way I can do that is to get married.

"Eww!"

"Hey, call it a marriage of inconveniences. You get rid of your virus and I get out of the Nietherworld." He shrugged.

"No way. How about this: you get rid of my virus now and then I set you free using my authoress powers."

"Hmmm…I'll think about it babes." BJ smiled evilly and I rolled my eyes.

"Come on Rockin' Socks." I say to the Joker. He followed me out of the room. BJ followed us.

"Hello. How are you feeling today?" Jareth asks me.

"I still have the virus but I thought I would walk around for a while. Oh by the way this is," I pointed behind the Joker but noticed BJ wasn't there. "Nevermind. I think I'll take a nap."

"No don't go! I want to show you something."

"What do you want to show me?"

"This! Eeeheeheehee!" BJ, it seems possessed Jareth and came out through his mouth. Deliciously Gorgeous collapsed on the floor.

"You know what?! I think my writer's block virus is gone no thanks to you! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!"

"Awwww sh-" he poofed away before he could say the wordy dird.

"Jareth, Jareth! Are you all right?" I run to him and help him up.

"I suppose so, although my ego is hurting."

"Oh Jareth, how your hair shines brightly in the sun light as though it too is a star. Your eyes, how they twinkle merrily when you are amused and laughing. And when you smile, I cannot help but smile as well." I complemented.

"Thank you." He smiled.

"Ugh." Rekoj rolled his eyes.

"Hey, if there is anything you need to talk about, I am here for you." I said to Rekoj.

"Whatev."

And now for something completely different.

Do you remember when I said something about flying poodles and flying sheep?

"No." a random reader says.

Anyway teaching poodles how to fly is from the movie **UHF** starring "Weird Al" Yankovic, Victoria Jackson, and Fran Drescher. They got it all on UHF! Sorry, song got stuck in my head. The flying sheep are from **Monty Python's Flying Circus.** I think I will send myself a virtual spatula now.

"Oh! Now I remember!" the reader said.

"I'm now going to close this adventure with this: Halloween special next adventure! Be There!"


	23. Adventure 18: This Is Hallween My Way

**The 18****th**** Adventure Of Larry TIPB: This Is Halloween **_**My**_** Way**

"'Twas the night that was All Hallows Eve-"

"Oh come on! Can you think of a better opening than _that_?!" a crazed rabid fan screamed.

"I was trying to be poetic."

"Don't. Just don't." the Joker said.

"And pray do tell why?"

"You can't rhyme anything with eve. Just like you can't rhyme anything with orange."

"Yes I can! Steve, sleeve, jeeve. And as for orange, doorhinge."

"…" damsel-in-stress muttered.

"Quite right." The Doctor agreed.

"Okay, can I get back to the story? I had an idea and now I'm going to run with it." I said.

"Okay." They said. I ran with my idea. We ran all the way to the throne room.

"Not that kind of running!"

"Fine."

"Who are you?"

"I am the author."

"But _I'm _the author!"

Sorry folks…on with the story. It is Halloween. My favorite holiday in which you _can_ take candy from complete strangers, scare small children, and be scared yourself. My friend and I were going Aboveground to go trick-or-treating. Yes, the Joker, Jareth and the Doctor were a little big, but thankfully I am 5'1 and look like I'm about 13 or 14 so it works out. Anyway, I am the author of this story so I can do anything I want.

"What are you going to be tonight Deliciously Gorgeous besides being deliciously gorgeous?" I asked Deliciously Gorgeous.

"I was thinking about being Superman."

"Figures he'd pick something that concerns tights." I muttered to damsel-in-stress.

"Chortle, chortle, chortle." Damsel-in-stress chortled.

"What is the Doctor going to be?" I asked her.

"I am going to be a doctor." The Doctor answered.

"Can you _be_ anymore creative?" I sarcastically said.

"What are you going to be Joker?" damsel-in-stress asked.

"Myself. And you?"

"I'm going to be Santa Claus."

"Why?" Jareth inquired.

"Think about it: most children are afraid of the man in red."

"I was." I said.

"And what are you going to be?"

"I will call myself, mini-Joker." I did a Dr. Evil impersonation, complete with the famous pinky to the lip.

"Hahahaha! I'm flattered. Really I am." The Joker laughed jovially.

"Really?" I asked

"Really." He said

"Really?" I asked

"Really." He whispered.

"So what are we going to do tonight DethRose?"

"The same thing we try to do every night, Jareth. Try to take over the world! Sorry I got Pinky and The Brain on my mind."

"It's quite alright."

"But really, what we are going to do tonight is going trick-or-treating. Joker, lower the globe."

"Lower the GLOBE!" Joker screamed. The globe was promptly lowered.

"You see, we start in America. And work our way through this city." I point to a completely random place.

"Oh no, not _that_ city. I don't want to go back to Gotham City." Joker shook his head.

"I know! How about you dress up as a mime and I'll shrink you."

"Works with me. With my red make up. Okay. But after trick-or-treating, make me normal size alright?"

"I will, don't worry."

We all got dressed and I have to say, I looked convincing as the mini-Joker. Jareth's tights were too tight so he had a hard time breathing. I finally convinced him to change his costume to something that was a little less, ah, constricting. He picked to be a vampire. A really, really, really, HOT vampire. I hate to say it, but I was drooling. So was Damsel-in-stress. I shrunk Joker down. Damsel-in-stress made one creepy Santa. She had blood dripping off of her nails and splattered on her suit.

"You remind me of "Weird Al" Yankovic's song The Night Santa Went Crazy." I observed.

"That's what I was aiming for." She quipped.

The Doctor was in a lab coat.

"Nice." Was all I said.

"What?"

"Well, it's Halloween. At least put some fake blood on yourself."

"Oh alright, I'll do that."

"Are we all ready to get a move on?" Joker asked.

"Almost." The Doctor said.

"Hey Larry! Come here!"

"Yes?" Larry TIPB answered.

"Do you want to come with us and scare a bunch of people?"

"Alright, but what do I have to do?"

"Do you mind if I carry you? All you have to do is let people put candy in you and scream or something else."

"Haha! Sounds like fun, I'm in!" Larry TIPB screeched.

We left the Underground soon after lugging around buckets and plastic bags for our sweeties. And of course the star of this scene…I give you Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag! We knock on the first door.

"Trick-or-treat!" We say. The owner of the house was the feared Billy Mays.

"HI I'M BILLY MAYS. TRY OXYCLEAN. GARUNTEED TO MAKE YOUR CLOTHES WHITER." The screaming man said.

"Where's the candy?" damsel-in-stress asked.

"WHY DO YOU WANT CANDY WHEN YOU CAN ALSO HAVE ORANGE GLO."

"Nevermind. Let's go." Jareth said. We left the hated screaming b……d.

"Now it's time to keep my vow." I smirked.

"What do you mean by keep your vow?"

"I have vowed many times, that if I ever meet Billy Mays I would kill him. His commercials are so annoying. I've had enough. I knew he was in love with his precious products but this is too much. It's time to put him out of his misery."

"How about we scare him instead?" the Doctor begged.

"How about we scare him to death?" I retorted.

"Larry, do your stuff." Jareth smirked demonically. We go back to the house of Billy Mays. I knock on the door. The door opens. We see Billy Mayes.

"YEEEEEEEES?" he says.

"Hi! I'm Larry TIPB. Want to quit your commercials?" Larry TIPB sneered. Billy fainted and died. We moved onto the next house. And the next, and the next, and the next…..it goes on for a while for we went to every house, apartment, and store. When we went back to the Underground, we each had five tons of candy.

"Can you get me back to my normal size now?" the joker asked me.

"Sure." I changed him back to his normal size….all except for his head.

"DethRose!"

"Sorry, I watched Beetlejuice recently." I changed his head back to its regular size.

"Thank you."

"That reminds me…since tonight is Halloween I think I may call a certain ghost… Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"

"Ahahahahaha! It's showtime!" BJ whirled around the room freely. "Hey babes, I thought you might have forgotten about me."

"No. I just thought that since tonight is Halloween, you should be free."

"Thanks babes."

"Whatev. Anyway, Happy Halloween! Be free man!"

"What are you high on?" the Doctor asked.

"I am high on life!" here I inhale a bunch of air through my nose and exhale. "See?"

"I suppose." Said the Doctor.

"So here are the rules: Don't mess with my friends or me, don't mess with the castle, you can mess with the goblins, you can aboveground and wreck havoc anyway you want."

"Got it babes."

"Have fun Blondie."

"Who's Blondie? I thought…nevermind." Jareth said.

"BJ is Blondie."

"I don't wanna be Blondie!"

"Alright, alright, calm down. You can be ummm….Beeltebug." I compromised. BJ seemed like this name because he changed into a gigantic beetle and scurried away.

"See ya in the morning suckers!" he shouted. WE followed him to scare all the hapless goblins, then went back to the Aboveground to scare all the people as well. Morning soon came so we returned to the Underground.

"That was fun." I said.

"Especially when that clown came up behind you and you screamed and ran behind Chuckles. That was priceless. Hahahaha!" damsel-in-stress laughed at my expense.

"My ego needs boosting after that."

"Oh DethRose you are the grooviest girl I know. You are also the best author." Joker said.

"Thank you."

"Gross!" Beetlebug wrinkled his nose.

"This coming from the Ghost With The Most?"

"Yeah babes."

"Aww…" I get closer to BJ.

"Hey! What are you doing?" he says as I get closer.

"Get away from me!" I get closer and give him a biiiiiiiig hug. "Nooooooooooooooooooo!" he howled.

"Hahahaha!" my friends laugh.

"Take me back to the Nietherworld." Beetlebug says.

"No. You're staying here for a while. Once I got used to you, you aren't so bad to be around." Damsel-in-stress commanded.

"I want to go to the Nietherworld some day." I said.

"We'll all go sometime babes."

"Yeah babes." Jareth smirked."

"Shut up Gobby!" I said viciously.

"Whatev." He continued to smirk.

"Hey Chuckles, come on. Let's play a videogame." I said.

"What game?" Joker replied.

"How about Star Wars Legos II?"

"How about the first one?"

"Ooo! I can be JarJar Binks and Darth Maul!"

"We both can be Darth Maul."

"I've got the cheats!"

"You cheat on games?" Jareth raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, what fun is a game without cheats?" I say.

"Nevermind."

"Come on Joker!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming." He says. WE played Star Wars Legos for nine hours straight.

"Are you two tired of playing yet?" damsel-in-stress said impatiently.

"No. Must keep playing." Joker and I said monotonously.

This ends the Halloween special! Hope you have enjoyed it! Remember: Don't do drugs!


	24. Commercial Break 6

**Commercial Break 6**

Introducing the new computer sweater and voices! We have all voices to make your computer sound smart. Now with the new Stephen Hawking voice! The sweaters are made to make your computer look smarter as well.

"Hello puny humans, I will take over the world."

Er……okay maybe not the best idea. Let's go to the next.

May I present to you the incredible Turtle-I mean frog! The Turtle-I mean frog can do anything. It can do your homework, balance your check books, do your work, clean your house, and lots of other things. Just be sure to feed it. If you don't, well lets just say you'll have a HUGE mess to clean up afterwards. And the price of the amazing Turtle-I mean frog is reasonable! Just pay 19.95 plus shipping and handling.


	25. Adventure 19: Playing The Games

**The 19****th**** Adventure Of Larry TIPB: Playing The Games.**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Beetlejuice. Tim Burton does. Wes Craven owns Freddy. But this Freddy is from Michaellover's __Ask Freddy Krueger Questions.__ Read it! There I said it. Awesome. Thank you Freddy for letting me use you in this adventure! Umm…Jim Henson owns Jareth. I wish I did. Damsel-in-stress owns herself and Tomato. BBC owns Doctor Who. DC owns the Joker. I own Larry TIPB and myself. Oh yeah! George Lucas owns the world- I mean Star Wars Legos. _

Jareth and I were in The Room playing Connect Four.

"Connect Four!" I yelled.

"Where?" Jareth smiled. He knew what I was going to say next.

"Here. Diagonally." I smiled.

"Pretty sneaky sis." We both laughed

"Do you want to play another game?" I asked.

"Why yes, I do. Let's play Scrabble. No Chuck Norris." He said.

"Alright."

We played Scrabble until we got bored. No one won.

"I want to show you the Fourth Door." Jareth said suddenly.

"I thought you didn't want anyone to look in there."

"You are an exception. I know I can trust you."

"Thank you. I'm honored."

We left The Room and walked to the hallway that I explored two adventures ago and went to the Fourth Door. Jareth unlocked it and opened the door and allowed me to step inside. The room was beautiful. That's all I'm going to say.

"Wow! It's beautiful!" I gasped.

"I am glad you like it." He smiled.

"What is the room used for?"

"This is the room I go to when I need to be alone and think. I like to come here and rest. When you are the Goblin King, if an opportunity to rest comes along, you jump on it. This is where I go."

"So being the Goblin King is very stressful." I observed.

"Yes."

"I had no idea."

"It is nice to be with a person who has an IQ higher than a speck of dust. For that, I am grateful to you for listening."

"You're welcome."

Meanwhile in a different part of the castle…

"Tomato! Where are you?" damsel-in-stress shouted.

"She's right there." The Doctor pointed to Tomato.

"Tomato, you spoiled potato! I told you not to walk off."

"I think you quite possibly have gone mental." The Doctor laughed.

"Who's to say that I wasn't already?" she retorted.

"Good point. Are you up to going to Scotland to see the great William Wallace?"

"Sure!" the Doctor took damsel-in-stress' hand and ran to the TARDIS.

Now we will see what the Joker and BJ are up to….

"Can't stop playing Star Wars Legos!" Joker looked as if he hasn't slept for a few days.

"Come on, I am dead to watch my movie!" BJ says as he falls down like he died. But that didn't work because he is already a ghost. He gets back up and dusts himself off.

"No! Stupid Jar Jar! Jump _that way!_" The Joker shouted at the game. His character died and he threw the controller down and shut the game system off. He pouted while BJ laughed.

"Now I'm going to watch my movie." BJ declared.

"Fine." Mr. Pouty Pants said and pouted some more. He sat and watched the movie. He finally loosened up and started laughing along with The Ghost With The Most.

"I am all hung up on this movie." BJ says and transforms into a noose.

You want to know what movie they are watching? Here is a hint: BJ is so vain! He probably thinks this movie is about him. He's so vain! Sorry. Answer this and you get a virtual spatula!

Lets go back to Deliciously Gorgeous and myself.

All this time while you were looking into what the others were doing, Jareth and I were making…….designs with Dominos. We were back in The Room. Now we knocked the Dominos down. It made a zebra.

"I have never been able to make anything with Dominos. And now with your help, we made a groovy zebra!" I said.

"Bitte."

"Let's watch a horror movie."

"Which one?"

"A Nightmare On Elm Street?"

"Sure. Is that the one with the guy with the hat and claw?"

"The same, why?"

"No reason. Start the film." He said.

So I did. We didn't really watch the movie. Instead we were……….playing Snakes and Ladders.

"Grrr…not another snake! I swear this game hates me." I pout.

"Haha!" Jareth did his best Nelson from The Simpsons impersonation

Suddenly the snake on the board became real.

"Now how did that happen? Uh oh!" I said after I heard a screeching noise.

"What is it?" Jareth asked me.

Meanwhile in another place and time….

"Ach lad and lass…." William Wallace said.

"Translation please?" damsel-in-stress muttered.

"You mean the TARDIS isn't translating?" asked the Doctor.

"It is, I just felt like saying something."

"Ach, arrre ya listening lass?" William Wallace asks.

"Yes."

"Meanwhile in the Castle back in regular time…..

"DethRose where are you?" Joker shouts.

"Hey Babes!" BJ yelled.

"Hey BJ-" Joker began.

"Hi. How are you?" BJ cut in.

"BJ you are a ghost. Find where she is and then come tell me."

"I think we should leave her alone." BJ turned into a brain then turned back.

"But I have something I need to tell her!"

Meanwhile lets get back to Jareth and me.

"Don't investigate! Remember my **How To Survive A Horror Movie** thing?"

"I know you aren't finished.

"Well don't go away. We must stick together."

"Hahahaha!" a demonic voice was heard laughing. We were transported to a boiler room.

"Nooo!" I cried as I noticed this wasn't just any boiler room. It was The Boiler Room.

"Where do you think you're going?" a sinister voice echoed around The Boiler Room. The owner of the voice popped into view.

"Ah fudge. Jareth? Where are you?" I said and looked around. Jareth was no where in sight.

"He's still awake. You're in my world now witch!" the voice said smirking. Then he heard that he wasn't saying the words he wanted to say.

"Don't cuss." I said.

"I will ducking cuss if I ducking want to, you witch." He snarled.

"Fine."

"You are mine now."

"Ah, so I am asleep. And since I fell asleep watching your movie, you were able to get into my dream. Correct?"

"Yes."

"And you are Freddy Krueger."

"Correct."

"May I have a last request before I meet my demise?"

"Since you asked so nicely, duck yeah." Freddy stood.

"I want to finish my story."

"How long will it take?"

"Oh, it could go on for years."

"No ducking deal."

"Please don't cuss."

"Fine! Still no deal."

"But you know me! I am DethRose! I ask you questions!"

"You are her?"

"Duh." I rolled my eyes.

"And you wrote **How To Survive A Horror Movie**?"

"Yes, and I'm adding more to it."

"Your idea about the mentally unstably squirrel has worked wonders that you suggested on my questions for me. Freddy said.

"I told you!"

"Alright, I'll leave you alone on one condition."

"And pray do tell."

"When you finish with each adventure, let me be the first to read it."

"Groovy, a fan. Done!"

"You may go now." Freddy smirked.

"DethRose! DethRose!" I woke up to Jareth shaking me.

"What the bell happened?! I was worried. I thought you died!"

"Sorry, I just ran into an old friend in my dreams. He never saw my face before so he didn't know who I was."

"You mean-"

"Yes. I email him."

"And he is-"

"Yes it is him."

"But-"

"Don't worry about it. He let me go on one condition. I have to let him be the first to read each new adventure I add."

"Wow."

"Yeah, he's groovy like that if you know him."

We put in another movie. This time we watched it.

"Jareth?"

"Hm?"

"If you could wish for anything, what would you wish for?"

"Let me think…" I am silent while he thinks. "I would wish that you and your friends would stay here with me. I have never had so much fun since you all came here. I would be devastated were you to leave."

"Done." I use my authoress powers but they didn't work.

"What's wrong?"

"I guess everyone already decided to stay. You already got your wish." We hear shouting.

"DethRose!"

"I think I should show myself and see what he wants."

"Go ahead." I walked out of The room. Luckily the Joker was nowhere near the hallway. I walk to where the Joker was yelling.

"Oh, there you are. I need to tell you something."

"What is it that you need to tell me?"

"I beat your high score!" Joker said triumphantly.

"This reminds me of that episode of **Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends**."

"I guess." He shrugged.

"That's all you wanted to say?"

"No. I also wanted to know if you want to play a game."

"What kind?"

"Freeze tag. But we need to get the others to play.

"That sounds like fun. I'll get the others."

"I already herded them up babes." BJ was dressed like a cowboy and he did indeed herd them up. There were all in a lasso.

"Is everyone ready to play?" Rekoj asked everyone.

"Yes." We all said.

And so ends this adventure.


	26. Adventure 20: Zweizig

**The 20th Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: Zweizig**

"Twenty times we've been over this! I can't let Ziggy Stardust inside." Jareth said.

"Why is that?" damsel-in-stress asked for the 21st time.

"Because he is an outlaw."

"Now you are talking like you are from a Western."

"Forget it! He's not coming!"

"Fine. I'll just ask DethRose." she said and went off to find me.

"Good luck with that." Jareth said under his breath.

Meanwhile in my room I was sleeping. Let's skip that and see what BJ is up to.

As usual BJ was up to no good. He made his morning rounds scaring all of the goblins, ate his special breakfast cereal Buggios and took to following someone around asking annoying questions.

"Why is the sky orange?" he asked.

"Because it just is." Larry TIPB commented.

"Well, if that's all you can come up with, I'm leaving."

"Goodbye." Larry TIPB sort of waved a corner of his bagginess.

"Where is DethRose?" Beetlebug asks himself.

"Meanwhile lets see what Smiley is up to now.

He was playing Star Wars Legos II. He had been playing without rest for five days straight.

Meanwhile damsel-in-stress was still trying to find me. She soon got side tracked by a Turtle-I mean frog that appeared out of nowhere.

Let's go see what Jareth is up to.

"You there!" he said to a random goblin, "You do that outside! Go!" he said as he kicked the goblin out the window. "I am so tired of this. I need a vacation. Or at least some time alone for awhile." He went to The Fourth Door. He stayed in there for a couple of hours just staring off and thinking about his life. When he came out, he looked refreshed. "Much better." He smiled and left to find more goblins to kick out windows.

Let's get back to BJ.

He was roaming around, bored of his mind.

Meanwhile, I was still sleeping. Let's go into my dream.

"Do you approve?" I asked looking at the man in front of me who was reading the previous chapter.

"You make me seem nicer than I appear." The Dream Demon said.

"I can fix that. You can kill people when I visit you so you don't get a soiled reputation." I made a frightened druggie kid appear.

"Nice. Excuse me, I have work to do." Freddy Krueger said then lunged at the druggie. First he scared the kid, ya know did things that he did best. He got bored and then killed the kid by slashing the kids face, gouged his eyes and then killed him. "Danke." Freddy said as he sat back down and started to read again.

"Bitte." I got up and looked around the Boiler Room. There was blood splattered everywhere. I quickly returned to my seat. I made a PS2 appear with Guitar Hero. I only got through two songs on hard. The rest I beat on Medium.

"Very good." Freddy looked up when he was done reading.

"Groovy. Am I free to leave now?"

"Yes."

"See ya next time." I wave. I woke up. "Finally no one woke me up. What is that, the second time?" I say to myself. I got dressed in my drumming skeleton shirt, blue jeans, and Rock and Roll Converse. I went out of my room. I ran into BJ.

"Hey babes." BJ said sullenly.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm bored."

"Hmm... follow me around. I'll think of smething you can do."

"Okay babes." he followed me around as I went to the kitchen to get something to eat.

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

Meanwhile in the Joker's room...

Joker was still playing Star Wars Legos II. a goblin came in and accidently tripped over the wire to the game system and cut off the power.

"You bloody turkey baster!" The Joker screamed, "Two men walked into a bar and the third one ducked!" the goblin died. The Joker decided to take this opportunitty to get something to eat. He goes to the kitchen and sees that BJ and I werein there. He sits on the other side of me. "What are you eating?"

"Food. seriously, I'm eating eggs."

"Can you make me some?"

"Only if you take a shower and get some sleep."

"Okay, it's a deal." I made him some eggs and added bacon, sausage, and toast because he looked famished.

"Thank you." he dug in not even bothering with table manners. I couldn't blame him.

"Wow, look at him go!" BJ said.

"That, dear readers, is why you should never get too obsessed with a game." I said and pointed to Rockin' Socks.

"Buuuurrrrrrp! Excuse me."

"Not a problem." I said in my best Indian voice.

"Haha!" BJ laughed.

"Now go take a shower. You stink." I hold my nose.

"But what about him?!" Rockin' Socks points to BJ.

"He's dead. I mean really, you of all people should know that the dead always reek."

"Thank you babes. That's the nicest complement I ever recieved." BJ faked a tear of blood.

"The dead don't bleed."

"It's color dye babes."

"Oh. Go take a shower Joker, then go get some sleep."

"Alright I will." he stalked off.

Meanwhile Jareth kicked all goblins that crossed his path out of windows. He was in a happy mood. He walked to the kitchen.

"Hello DethRose and BJ." he smiled and sat down in the chair that the Joker just vacated.

"Why so cheery?" I said in the Jokers voice.

"No reason. Are you going to finish that?" he pointed to my plate of eggs.

"No. You can have them." I give my plate to Deliciously Gorgeous.

"Thanks." he ate.

"Sooo..." BJ shrugs.

"What?"

"You two a couple?"

"Pffft no. We're just good buddies, eh Little Buddy?" Jareth laughed

"Aye, aye Skipper!" I laughed with him.

"Well you two spend a lot of time together."

"So do you and the Joker."

"We watch movies and I watch him get dissed off at Star Wars Legos babes."

"All we do is play games, talk, and watch movies." Jareth said.

"Yes but where do you go during this?" BJ raises his eyebrows suggestively.

"Somewhere in the castle." Jareth said.

"Where specifically?"

"A room with lots of books, games, DVDs abd a tv." I laugh.

Nevermind babes."

"There you are DethRose! I was looking for you!" damsel-in-stress walked in the kitchen.

"What do you need?"

"I need to talk to you alone."

"Certainly Ngah, ngah, ngah." I do my best Curly voice." we go out of the kitchen and go to a different room.

"Can Ziggy Stardust come?"

"Huh? Why?"

"I want him to teach me to play guitar."

"How about if I send you to him?"

"No. I want him to come here."

"Why?"

"Ummmmm...because I will feel safer where I know their are people."

"You don't trust him I take it."

"Yep."

"Did you ask Deliciously Gorgeous?"

"Yes. He said no."

"Did you tell him why you want Ziggy to over here?"

"No. I was embarassed."

"It's okay. I'll make Ziggy appear. Do you want me to stay with you while he teaches you?"

"Yes. Thank you."

I made Ziggy appear.

"Where the bell am I?"

"No cussing. You're in the Underground in the castle of the Goblin King, Jareth."

"I think I drank too much."

"Probably. Anyway, my friend here, damsel-in-stress wants you to teach her how to play the guitar."

"Why?"

"Well, you're the best." damsel-in-stress stated matter of factly.

"How much will you pay me?"

"I was thinking that instead of money, I give you rare guitar picks."

"Done. Your lessons, Miss. Stress, will begin tommorow. I have a hangover now. Can you take me to my room, uh, I didn't catch your name."

"DethRose, and sure. Oh yeah if you so much as touch my friend wrong, I'll shave your head and crush your hands so you wont be able to play at all. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Good. Walk this way." I pick up a cane and walk down the stairs an dgive the cane to Ziggy. He walks the same way I do then realizes he'd been duped into doing that.

"Hahaha! I've always wanted to do that." I say.

"I can't blame you. That was an excellent movie." Ziggy smiles.

"Alright. Your room is this way. Follow me." I lead Ziggy to an empty bedroom. He fell asleep as soon as he saw the bed. Must have been some party. I had to poof him to his bed. Then I went back to where I left damsel-in-stress.

"Man he was sleepy. He fell asleep as soon as he saw the bed."

"Ooooo...did you have to drg him?"

"No, I poofed him."

"Huh?"

"I used my authoress powers to make him disappear then reappear in his bed."

"Oh I get now. Where are you going to get the rare guitar picks?"

"I'll make them. That's why they'll be rare because they won't be any like them."

"Groovy."

We returned to the kitchen where our friends were waiting for us.

"What was that about" Jareth asked.

"Jareth, I let Ziggy come. Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him."

"I hope you know what you are doing. He's dangerous."

"I just wanted to learn how to play the guitar." damsel-in-stress muttered dejectedly.

"Oh all right then, but he's your responsibility. You must feed him."

"He is not a dog."

"Hey, can talk to you?" I ask Jareth.

"Yes." we go out to the garden.

"The reason she wanted Ziggy to come here is because she doesn't trust him."

"She could have told me the reason."

"Well, she was embarassed." I said, "Ziggy is kind of creepy."

"Where is he now?"

"I took him to an empty room. He fell asleep immediately."

"I take it he has a hangover."

"Naturally."

"Very well."

"Hi babes!" BJ jumps out of the wall.

"I _said_ I wanted to speak to him alone."

"No you said that you just wanted to speak to him."

"Whatev. What are you doing here?"

"Because I wanted to see what kind of relationship you're in."

"Friends. I told you already. I wasn't lying."

"Well now I know."

"Yep."

"I'm going now babes."

"Where?"

"I want to scare some more goblins."

"May I suggest kicking them out of windows? It's very entertaining." Jareth smiles.

"Sounds groovy. See ya babes!" BJ left us alone. Jareth and I sat down on a bench that conviently appeared.

"Do you know how to play chess?" Jareth asks me.

"No. My brother tried to teach me but I didn't get it. I zoned out when he was talking about where all the pieces move."

"Oh. I think we should go back to the others before they start to think our relationship is something else."

"You mean like we're in loooooooooooove?" I bat my eyelashes.

"Yes." he chuckled.

We go back to damsel-in-stress who was left all alone.

"Where's Diogenes?" damsel-in-stress asks.

"I told him to take a shower then get some sleep. He's been playing that game for days and he smells like it too. I think the guy is a bit addicted to it. Kind of like how a crackhead is addicted to cracking their head."

"I thought you were going to use a drug reference." the Doctor walked in.

"No. And where have you been? You just showed up!"

"I was visting an old friend."

"And who would that be?" damsel-in-stress glared at the Doctor.

"Sarah Jane Smith."

"Oh Okay."

"Where did our ghostly friend get to?" the Doctor asked.

"He's out terrorizing the goblins and kicking them out of window."

"Groovy."

Well that ends this adventure!

_A/N: If you can tell me where I got the idea for the walk this way bit, you will recieve a virtual spatula! And maybe a guest appearance on a future adventure! Ta-ta for now! Whoah i just caught a major typo. aren't ya glad?_


	27. Adventure 21: Wife With Strife

**The 21****st**** Adventure of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: **_**Wife with Strife**_

Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or Ziggy Stardust or Igor or Chroeders or Doctor Who or the Joker or Damsel-in-stress. She owns herself. But I do own Larry TIPB and myself and some of my dignity.

"Joker!" I yelled. It turns out the purplish pink worm or Reginald's wife wasn't really dead. She wasn't moving, wasn't breathing. OH MY SPOCK! Now back to the story…

I was walking around searching for something to do when I heard a crashing sound. It sounded familiar some how. Taking my surviving a horror movie list to heart, I ran. Soon as always when you run, I ran into a dead end. Oh joy.

"Joker!" I yelled, "Help me!!!!!!" The Joker ran as fast as a horse in the Kentucky Derby. The purplish pink worm was closing in on me. She had murder written on her forehead. Literally and figuratively. If Smiley didn't hurry up, I would die. My authoress powers weren't working so there was nothing I could do.

"DethRose!" Purple Rain yelled and ran at the murderous worm. He shoved her away, grabbed my arm and led me away before the evil blasted, ugly, purplish pink worm got up. "What were you doing?!"

"Kill it!" I cried.

"But you won't let me."

"For this one time I give you permission! That thing is too dangerous to live!"

"I'll need my weapons."

"Here." I gave him all of his weapons. He chose the bazooka.

"I need you to help me."

"How?"

"I need you to distract her while I aim."

"Alright."

"We track the huge worm. When we find her, Joker signaled me to distract her. So I did. The Joker got ready.

"Hey you fat overgrown maggot! What's wrong with you? Are you retarded?" I taunt. The worm turned around to face me.

"La kach fablot!" she howled.

"Sorry I don't speak retarded worm. Did you just say that you soiled yourself? That's just gross." I mock.

"Follok de foo!" She charges at me. I run and the Joker aims and fires. He hits! And green bug guts rain down on us as we run and celebrate.

"Ew, that's nasty!"

"It smells like lime gelatin."

"I dare you to eat it." I smirk.

"Only if you eat it with me."

"You're on." I grab a handful of the worm guts as Smiley does the same.

"Now!" we both toss back our heads and throw the guts in our mouths and eat them.

"Tastes like root beer." I smile.

"everything tastes like root beer to you" he laughs.

"Nah uh! I was joking. It tastes more like… well, it tastes like… it's weird, I can't tell you what it tastes like."

"I don't think it has a taste."

"Well, that was anticlimactic." My shoulders sagged down.

"Seriously. That was very disappointing."

"I know, I expected to taste something bitter, but that was just dull."

"I blame the author."

"Sorry! I thought of something but I just forgot it!" me being the author said.

"Whatev."

"Want to go get something to eat?"

"Can we go Aboveground for that?"

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking maybe Chroeders."

"Groovy." We left the Underground and went to Chroeders. I got a calzone with everything in it but mushrooms. The Joker got the same. I drank root beer. Big surprise huh? Chuckles had RC Cola. We each picked songs to play on the jukebox and played Galaga. I got the second highest score! We left Chroeders and went to a theater to see Igor. Then we went to a KISS concert. When we got back to the Underground, we were both tired but we stayed up to eat a snack and find our friends.

"So where have you two been?" the Doctor asked.

"We saved the Underground, went Aboveground, went out to eat, saw a movie, and then we went to a KISS concert. It was so groovy!" I said in one breath.

"I have to agree with you. I had fun."

"What did you do?" I asked Jareth and everyone else.

"I actually got some sleep." He said.

"We went to Denmark." Damsel-in-stress replied.

"I scared Higgle." BJ smirked.

"It's Hoggle! And don't you forget it!" Hoggle limped.

"Shut up! Who let you back in the castle? Go limp back to your cave." I shout at him. He limps away.

"That was vicious." BJ chuckles.

"I just never liked him. He creeps me out."

We forgot all about Ziggy Stardust until he approached us. He had been sleeping all this time.

"I thought I was supposed to have me guitar lessons today!" damsel-in-stress pouted.

"Sorry luv, I needed me rest." Ziggy said in an extremely heavy Cockney dialect.

"I guess I can start tomorrow." Damsel-in-stress sighed.

"Do I still get a guitar pick today?"

"Did you do anything else besides sleep?"

"No."

"Okay. Here." I hand over a pick.

"Thanks. I have a gig I must play. Can you take me there?"

"Sure. Where do you need to be?"

"Auckland, New Zealand."

"I always wanted to go there!" I screamed.

"You and your friends can see me play. Then you're all invited backstage for the after Russell."

"Yay!"

"What are you going to do about the Imaginary Landers?" Jareth asks me.

"You know, I've been thinking about creating a new Imaginary Land."

"I want to stay!" Larry TIPB cried.

"Alright, but your friends have to go. They cause way to many problems." I created Imaginary Land II. The Imaginary Landers left except for our hero Larry. Then we left for the concert in Auckland.


	28. Commercial Break 7

**Commercial Break 7**

Introducing the new holographic ballerina!

"Huh? Why would I want a holographic ballerina?"

I don't know. You don't need a bunch of things but you buy them anyway.

"Good point."

The holographic ballerina can um do things that human ballerinas can.

"You don't know a lot about ballerinas do you?"

No. I just sell these things. It's not my place to ask questions.

"How much does it cost?"

5 bucks or 3.61 pounds for all you English out there. :D

"That's a bargain! I want three!"

Sure that's 15.00 bucks or 10.83 pounds.

Buy the holographic ballerina!


	29. Adventure 22: Concert!

**The 22****nd**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: **_**Concert!**_

In the last adventure, the huge giant purplish pink worm was going to kill me. The Joker blew her up with a bazooka. Then we dared each other to eat her guts. It didn't have a flavor. After that, we went to Chroeders, saw a movie , then went to a KISS concert. Meanwhile BJ scared Hogwart, Jareth got some sleep, the Doctor and damsel-in-stress went to Denmark, and Ziggy Stardust got over his hangover. He didn't teach damsel-in-stress how to play guitar because he had a gig to go to. He said we could go with him. I created another imaginary land. All the Imaginary Landers except Larry TIPB made their homes there. Now let's get back to the present adventure.

We are going to see a Ziggy Stardust concert! We packed our stuff, enough for a day, and then I used my Author powers to transport us to Auckland, New Zealand. The first thing we saw were all of Ziggy's fans. There were a lot of them. When Ziggy went ahead of our group, the crowd split like the Red Sea. We followed him. Soon we came to his dressing room. His costumes were outrageous! Neon yellows, greens, pinks, and blues in spandex!

"What's up with rock stars and spandex? I asked no one in particular.

"It keeps us looking sexy." Ziggy said over his shoulder.

"Not when ya grow old and wrinkly." BJ pointed out.

"Ugh." Everybody shivered in revulsion.

"All right, I need to get dressed, so you need to get out for a while." Ziggy shoved us to the door and out we go.

"How wude." Jar-Jar Binks said as he walked by.

"That was random." The Doctor said after Jar-Jar disappeared into the crowd.

"Yeah." I paused then continued, "Oh well. Now what do we do?"

"Why don't we cause Ziggy to late for his concert?" BJ asked.

"Nah. I want to see it." Damsel-in-stress said.

"Did you noticed how much Ziggy and Deliciously Gorgeous look alike?" I whisper to damsel-in-stress.

"I know. I think we may have new ammunition for annoying them."

"That's just what I was thinking." I shift my eyes.

"When do we start?"

"I don't know. I wonder if this place has Orange Mocha Frappachinos. " I said.

"_Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug_." Damsel-in-stress started singing

"_Jitterbug into my brain_" I sing the next verse.

"_Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same"_

_"Wake me up before you go-go" _we both sing.

"What are you doing?" Jareth asks with a raised eyebrow.

"You wouldn't get it."

"Try me."

"It's a song from the awesome groovy movie **Zoolander.**"

"Duh." Damsel-in-stress supplied helpfully.

"Do you know the whole song?"

"Nope. Only what was supplied in **Zoolander.**"

"Did somebody call my name?" Derek Zoolander came out of the crowd.

"Uhhhh….we were talking about the movie." Damsel-in-stress uttered.

I love the word utter. It's so fun to say.

"Say, what is your thought on Aboriginal tribes?" I ask Zoolander.

"The Abididginal tribes are cool." Zoolander does the look La Tigre.

"We don't say cool. We say groovy."

Ziggy came out of his dressing room in neon yellow and green spandex, leaving nothing to the imagination, if you know what I mean. Also he was wearing a pink feather boa around his shoulders.

"Holy Moscow." I heard damsel-in-stress say under her breath.

"Get in the front row. Hurry!" Ziggy told us. "Sit beside Zoolander."

"Welcome to The Ballad Of Ziggy Stardust! Please go to your seats." A voice said over the intercom. "We will start in five minutes."

We followed Zoolander to our seats. I sat by Zoolander, Joker sat by me, damsel-in-stress sat by him, the Doctor sat by her, Deliciously Gorgeous sat by him, and BJ sat by him. As soon as we sat down, the lights turned off. Some people that were being retarded screamed in mock fright. A single beam of light fell and lit one spot on stage. From under the stage, Ziggy Stardust rose on a platform. Pfft. Drama king. He was looking at his electric guitar. It was a Flying V! Oh yeah! He looked up at the crowd with defiance in his eyes.

"Welcome. Enjoy." He muttered then strummed on his guitar for a while. The audience remained quiet. Then he did a quick power chord. Obviously he was warming up. After he did that, the audience whooped and clapped. Our little group joined in.

"Thank you. Come back soon." The platform and Ziggy disappeared. The beam of light was turned off and the regular lights were turned back on. The audience was outraged. They threw bottles of root beer onstage. Zoolander and Joker had to restrain me from going onstage to get the bottles of root beer.

"Calm down, calm down." Joker said trying to sooth me.

"Root beer. Root beer. Root beer. Root beer." I chanted. Chuckles got onstage and got a couple of bottles for me. I attacked the bottles. Soon they were empty. I'm a root beer vampire if you hadn't noticed already.

"Thank you."

"If you do that again, I'll rip off your nose, poke out your eyes and tear off your face. You are welcome by the way."

"Aww… I'm flattered." I fan my face with my hands. Suddenly the lights turned back off. We were plunged into darkness. Then the single beam of light was pointed back where it was. A man in neon pink and purple spandex was standing in the middle of the light. It was Ziggy! He played another power chord. Drums, keyboard, and bass joined in played by The Spiders From Mars. He started playing his song about him. There were blow torches, fireworks, and light effects that were synchronized with the music. The audience loved it. I didn't noticed him before but, on the other side of Zoolander was none other than David Bowie! Talk about your coincidences. I got damsel-in-stress' attention and pointed to David Bowie. Her eyes grew wide.

"Oh my Spock!" she mouthed to me. She was going to mouth something else but was interrupted.

"Those of you who are in the font row, get your butts up here!" Ziggy yelled. David Bowie, Zoolander, me, Joker, damsel-in-stress, the Doctor, and BJ all got on stage.

"If not for these people, I wouldn't be here. Let's all clap and embarrass them!" The audience went wild. "Thank you! I have embarrassed them for two reasons. The second reason is so they will help me with this next song. Alright Spiders, start." The song was Jareth's own Dance Magic Dance!

"_You remind me of the babe" _Jareth started._  
__"What babe?" _Zoolander asked confused. Apparently he never heard this song._  
__"The babe with the power"_ Jareth answered._  
__"What power?"_ Zoolander asked_  
__"The power of voodoo"_ Jareth said._  
__"Who do?" _Zoolander asked._  
__"You do" _Jareth said then pointed to BJ._  
__"Do what?" _BJ asked._  
__"Remind me of the babe"_ Jareth said.__

_"I saw my baby, crying hard as babe could cry" David sang.  
"What could I do?" _I sang._  
__"My baby's love had gone,  
And left my baby blue" _the Doctor sang badly._  
__"Nobody knew"_ damsel-in-stress sang.__

_"What kind of magic spell to use," _we all sang._  
__"Slime and snails" _the left side of the audience sang._  
__"Or puppy dog tails"_ the middle of the audience sang._  
__"Thunder or lightning"_ the right side of the audience sang._  
__"Then baby said......"_ the Joker sang._  
__"Dance magic, dance" _Ziggy sang.

_"Dance magic, dance" _Jareth started dancing._  
__"Dance magic, dance"_ he grabbed me and made me dance with him.

_"Dance magic, dance"_ the Doctor turned to damsel-in-stress and bowed then they started to dance._  
"Put that baby spell on me  
"Jump magic, jump _

_(jump magic, jump)  
Jump magic, jump _

_(jump magic, jump)"_ we sang._  
"Put that magic jump on me" _ the audience screamed._  
__"Slap that baby, make him free!" _BJ yelled.__

_"I saw my baby, trying hard as babe could try" _Jareth sang._  
__"What could I do?  
My baby's fun had gone  
And left my baby blue  
Nobody knew"_ David Bowie sung.__

_"What kind of magic spell to use"_ I sang._  
__"Slime and snails_" the left side of the audience sang._  
__"Puppy dog's tails" _the middle of the audience sang._  
__"Thunder or lightning"_ the right side of the audience sang. _  
__"Then baby said...."_ Ziggy said.__

_"Dance magic, dance _

_(dance magic, dance)  
Dance magic, dance _

_(dance magic, dance)" _we all sang._  
__"Put that baby spell on me" _BJ screamed then turned into a baby.__

_"Jump magic, jump"_ we sang.

_"Jump magic, jump" _the Doctor sang._  
__"Jump magic, jump"_ we sang.

_"Jump magic, jump"_ Joker sang._  
__"Put that magic jump on me"_ I said._  
__"Slap that baby, make him free!" _damsel-in-stress slapped BJ and he turned normal.__

_"Dance magic, dance"_ Larry TIPB appeared then disappeared.

_"Dance magic, dance"_ we sang._  
__"Dance magic, dance"_ the audience sang.

_"Dance magic, dance" _we sang._  
__"Jump magic, jump" _goblins appeared then disappeared.

_"Jump magic, jump" _we all danced._  
__"Jump magic, jump" _the Joker did an Irish jig just because.

_"Jump magic, jump"_ Reginald sang._  
__"Put that baby spell on me (ooh)" _we ended the song. Zoolander was still confused.

"Clap for my friends you monkeys! Clap!" Ziggy said obviously having a blast. The audience clapped and made monkey hoots. They were happy. "DethRose," Ziggy whispered, "Teleport us back to my dressing room now."

"Cashing in on my powers, eh? Alright." I teleported all of us onstage to his dressing room. We heard the audience whoop, laugh, whistle, and clap harder than they ever clapped before. We even heard a couple of fans blow up.

"That has got to be the BEST CONCERT EVER!" the Doctor yelled.

"Thank you, but the last song was the best." Ziggy said. "It had power."

"Er...yeah."

"So would any of you like to join me for the song on my next album?"

"YEAH!" we all screeched.

"This is supposed to a party. Everybody dance!" Zoolander said doing Blue Steel. The Joker put on _Nazareth Greatest Hits._ David Bowie asked me to dance with him.

"Do you want to help me and damsel-in-stress annoy Ziggy and Jareth?" I asked him.

"And what would entail?"

"Oh, saying how much they look alike, whispering, and giggling. Stuff like that."

"Actually, I've noticed that they look a lot like me."

"They do." The song ended. Chuckles put on _Rush: Hemispheres_.

"I may have to join you." David smiled evilly.

"Groovy."

"Ziggy, do you think that now you can teach me to play the guitar?" damsel-in-stress asked.

"Well sure." He taught her the basic notes first then some combinations. After an hour of this they quit. "Remember to practice." He said then took a huge swig of Root Beer. Jareth was to the side watching everyone have fun. I decided to join him, since he looked so alone.

"What's wrong?" I inquired.

"I'm just wondering how my castle has faired while I am gone."

"Do you want me to take you back so you can see how it is?"

"Yes please." I took his hand then teleported us back to his castle.

"Hmmm… it looks fine but something could still be wrong. Would you like to help me make sure everything is in perfect order?"

"Sure." We checked every room. Nothing was out of order.

"Let's go back now." Jareth said. I took his hand again then teleported us back to the party.

"And where did you two sneak off to?" Zoolander asked.

"I wanted to check on my castle." Jareth snarled.

"Hey man, chilly down. I was just joking."

BJ grabbed me and started dancing. Now at this point I was tired but meh.

"Hiya babes!" we danced in the air. It was fun.

"Hiya Beej!"

"I want Chinese." BJ said suddenly.

"The people or food?" I jokingly said.

"The food."

"Alright here." I made a huge dish of Jasmine rice with beetles seasoned with sweet and sour sauce appear right in front of him.

"Wow! Just how I like it. Thanks!" he grinned. Ugh, those green teeth. Oh well. He ate every morsel after he offered me a beetle. It was Ringo Star. Haha! Nah it was really a bug. I felt adventurous so I tried a bite. It bit me back but I crunched it. I felt bug guts in my mouth. The taste was horrible but I grabbed BJ's arm and walked over to Chuckles. I had to show him this. I stuck out my tongue at the Joker. I still haven't finished chewing the beetle. Needless to say, he tossed his cookies. BJ laughed and I finally swallowed the beetle, guts and all.

_**A/N: End of spiral notebook 2! Yay! I thank Damsel-in-stress, the Blues Brothers, Aunt Wyma, Ben Stiller, David Bowie, and my flattering fans. I love you guys!**_ _**Thank you for reading!**_


	30. Adventure 23: The Rest of the Party and

**The 23****rd**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: **_**The Rest Of The Party And Home Again**_

After I made Joker puke, and after I swallowed the beetle, a new album came on. It was KISS Platinum Hits. I was tired so I sat down to watch everyone dance. Of course there is always that one dork who made everyone uncomfortable. What kind of party would it be without one of those? He kept tripping on everybody's toes then walking it off like he was "cool." I felt bad for him so I decided to ask him to dance. It turned out it was Gary Busey. I didn't know that until he turned around. That dude seriously creeps me out. Suddenly, we hear the door slam. In the door way was none other than…

"I'm sorry but our service has been discontinued for a while. Please sit back and enjoy the Muzak while you wait…."

* * *

Chuck Norris! Oh no! Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and turned to look at him.

"Why wasn't I invited?" Chuck Norris commanded.

"You'll kill everyone that's why." Gary Busey unwisely spoke to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him. Gary Busey went down for the count. Chuck Norris looked defiantly at us to see if anyone else had anything else to say. No one did. Chuck Norris left without another word. The party, it seems, is over now. After we said our goodbyes to our new friends, damsel-in-stress, BJ, Jareth, the Doctor, Joker, Ziggy Stardust, and I left for the Castle Beyond the Goblin City. It was late and we didn't feel like going to our rooms so we camped out in the garden. Sleeping bags and pillows were already in place. We all lied down and looked at the stars until we fell asleep.


	31. Adventure 24: Avast Me Hearties!

**The 24****th**** Adventure of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: **_**Avast Me Hearties!**_

The ground was harder than I remember. I open my eyes. The fist thing I see is a tan very sexy man with long black hair, braided beard, mustache, red bandanna, and I think a bone and other things in his hair, he had a tri-cornered brown hat and kohl around his brown eyes, looming over me. Normally I wouldn't object, but the ground really was hard.

"What are you doing aboard my ship?!" the man cried, waving his arms about in an awkward fashion. I was fascinated, but he kept on yelling.

"Well there's a fine good morning." I muttered. "Did you just say I'm on a ship?"

"_My _ship."

"Oh. I have no idea. I was having a nice nightmare about not insulting the waters when I woke up with you so caringly looming over me contemplating on whether or not to wake me up." i say in one breath. i take another breath and continue slower, "By the way, have you seen a strikingly handsome blonde man, a ghost also blonde, a girl, and a man with paint on his face?"

"I've only saw the girl. She's right behind you."

"Oh. by the way, what's your name?"

"I am Captain Jimmy Swallow."

Just joking. Let's try that again.

"I am Captain Jack Sparrow." he paused thinking that he said that before but with another name, shrugged then bowed.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Christa. her name is Cat." I point to damsel-in-stress.

"I think you should wake her up, or I could get one of men to take her to an empty cabin where she can rest."

"She looks like she hasn't had that much sleep. Could you?" I inquired him to lend a man.

"Aye. Norrington!"

"Yes?" Norrington walked to where we were standin.

"Pick up Cat. The girl is sleeping. Take her to an empty cabin."

"Yes sir." he picked up Cat and walked away.

"So what is the name of your ship?" I asked Captain Jack.

"She is named _The Black Pearl._"

"She is beautiful." I stand up and look around. _The Black Pearl_ had black sails and was black herself. She really was beautiful. Captain Jack walks behind me on deck while I look around. He occasionally made comments and told little anecdotes.

**

* * *

**

I listened to Jack Sparrow's stories with interest but after a while, I got bored and started interrupting. Jack Sparrow looked a bit irritated.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to tell you me story."ﾝ He growled.

I shrugged, "Sorry, it's just I've had some pretty interesting adventures myself." I replied.

Jack Sparrow laughed, "Not as interesting as mine, luv."

"They are." I replied.

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

Our conversation went on like this for some time so I'll cut to damsel-in-stress who'd just woken up to find Norrington carrying her in his arms.

"Oh sweet drunken angels!" She cried then fainted.

"Are you quite well?" Norrington asked the limp bundle. "I'll take that as a no." He decided and dumped the girl onto the bed. He walked off shaking his head at the strange ways of women.

Meanwhile I'd ended the argument.

"Is too times infinity."

"Curses." Jack cried realizing he couldn't top that.

We continued walking to the bow of the ship where we made an unexpected discovery.

"Larry?" I exclaimed.

In a heap on the floor was Larry the Imaginary Plastic bag, the forgotten hero of our story.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I dunno," Larry shrugged, "You're the author, you tell me."

It was my turn to shrug. "Ask damsel-in-stress she's the one writing this bit."

They all turn to damsel-in-stress who is still recovering from seeing Norrington. She shrugged too.

"Well that's just great isn't it." A random reader exclaimed sarcastically.

"Shut up." I told them and the random reader disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Jack Sparrow was looking at us strangely. "I think I've had too much rum." He decided.

We ignored him. Instead we wondered where the others were.

"They're trapped on a desert island in the middle of the Caribbean with an evil tentacle faced terror hunting for them at this very moment." Damsel-in-stress declared.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because I wrote this bit, silly." She told me.

"Oh." I replied intelligently.

"We need to rescue them!" Larry said just to remind the readers he was still there.

"Captain Sparrow!" I called, "Can you sail us to the island?"

"Course I would, luv," He replied, "But me poor Pearl's been in the wars a bit lately and the old sail's in tatters, we ain't goin' nowhere in a hurry."ﾝ

"We have to rescue our friends!"ﾝ I cried, "But how can we sail without any sails?" Then slowly Captain Jack Sparrow, damsel-in-stress, and I had an idea. We had an awfulidea. We had a wonderful _awful_ idea.

"Oh no-" Larry began.

**Nananananananananananananananananananana Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag!**

We cut to Larry tied to the Black Pearl acting as a sail. The Black Pearl was sailing gracefully away.

"I guess now is a bad time to say that I get terribly seasick." Larry said.

And so the journey began, we set out to rescue our friends who are trapped on a terrible but still unnamed desert island accompanied by a famous drunken pirate, a dashing demoted commodore and some other also unnamed crew members with an imaginary plastic bag as a sail.

Would we get there in time? Would we get there at all? Would Larry throw up over the side or onto the deck? All these questions and more will be answered in the next installment...

**

* * *

**

Right after this commercial break……

**_A/N: the line breaks are to break up my part of the story and damsel-in-stress' part. I thank her for helping write part of this. Read her stories! They're Grrrrrrrrreat!_**


	32. Commercial Break 8

**Grinchy Bells**

_Grinchy bells_

_Grinchy bells_

_Used to deter the Grinch_

_Hang them up on your wall_

_And sleep the night away._

Are you tired of the Grinch coming year after year to steal your Christmas or Hanukkah?

"He stole my footsies!"

Aww…well Grinchy Bells will keep that old Grinch away from your house. Just hang them on your walls, door, Christmas tree, or Menorah and he won't come to your house.

"How much?"

Well….since it is the holidays, I'd say free. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah! L'chaim!

_Grinchy bells_

_Grinchy bells_

_Used to deter the Grinch_

_Hang them up on your wall_

_And sleep the night away._


	33. Adventure 25: A Pirate's Life For Me!

**The 25****th**** Adventure Of Larry TIPB: **_**A Pirate's Life For Me!**_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth, PotC, the Joker, Highlander or Beetlejuice. For the record, I don't own damsel-in-stress either._

As it turns out, Larry TIPB did puke on deck. Yeah, but don't worry. It was only yarn. Kind of like in **Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy**. Anyway…

Back on topic. There we were: a band of pirates, a demoted commodore, two girls and an imaginary plastic bag as a make-shift sail. Or should I say make-ship sail. Well laugh…Whatev. We were on a ship to save our friends.

"It's not just a ship luv, it's freedom." Captain Jack Sparrow interrupted.

"Do you mind! I'm trying to type here!" I snapped.

"Sorry." Captain Jack Sparrow muttered dejectedly.

"It's fine."

Anyway let's go to the man we believe started this whole shindig. Davy Jones, Ole Squid Face if you like.

"Boooooooooooo hisssssss!" hissed a random reader.

"Shut up! You haven't read what I have him doing! You'll like it."

As I was typing, Davy Jones is on Cannibal Island surrounded by all of the cannibals. They were chanting one thing and one thing only…

"Calamari ,calamari, calamari…"

Mmmm… pancakes are good. Oh right, story time. Sorry.

Little did the cannibals know, their god is real. He's a sea turtle named Phillip. Did you know that when Captain Jack Sparrow was stranded on the unnamed island that he _did_ get off on a sea turtle's back? That sea turtle was the god Phillip. It's true.

Let's get back to our eclectic crew.

Damsel-in-stress and were bored out our minds. Soon we took to annoying Mr. Cotton's parrot. That didn't work out too well. Just use your imagination. So I started following Captain Jack sparrow around and damsel-in-stress followed her lovey-poo Norrington around. It took about three weeks or more to get that unnamed island. What were we supposed to do? We started annoying Jack Sparrow.

"It's Captain Jack Sparrow."

"It takes too long to type you full name." I whined.

"Too bad."

"How about if I condense your name to CJS?"

"No." Jack Sparrow shuddered.

"I guess I can call you Captain Jack." Said I seeing the despair in his eyes.

"Aye, that be better."

Okay back to the story.

"Hey Cap'n!" d-i-s yells.

"Aye?"

"Try this. It's ten times better than your rum." She held out a bottle.

"It be not! What be it?" Captain Jack takes the bottle and holds it out likes it's going to explode.

"It's a new kind of alcoholic drink" I helpfully provided.

"Take a long drink. It'll get you drunk in no time."

"Hmm…I'll try it." He takes a sip.

A few minutes later…

"You know what I've always wanted to be?" Captain Jack said. It sounded more like, 'YanowaIalwooswatedtab.'

"No. What?" damsel-in-stress and I try to hold back our laughter.

"Ayama." Captain Jack looked at us conspiratorially.

"Huh?" we raise our eyebrows.

"A llama." He struggles not to slur his words.

"Ah." We are still trying not to laugh.

"What did you put in that drink?" I whispered to d-i-s.

"It's just Root Beer."

"Hehehe," I snicker, "maybe he's naturally drunk."

"Hey Cap'n."

"Aye lass?" it sounded more like 'eyelash.'

"Walk in a straight line." D-i-s says. Captain Jack does and fails miserably.

"Okay I think he failed." I get out a ticket. "This for steering while intoxicated. Go to the brig!"

"No it's my ship!" he said but it sounded more like 'noshitsmahsip.'

"I think he said he won't go." I said.

"Let's tie him up and take over _The Black Pearl_!"

"Hehehehaha! Let's do it."

A few more minutes later…

"Oy! Get me down!" it sounded more like, 'Oreogehtmahdawn!'

"Can you understand what he is saying?" I asked d-i-s.

"Nope." She replied. Norrington was in the Crow's Nest.

"Land ho!" Norrington yelled down to us.

"How dare you!" Larry TIPB said disgusted. He was still the ships main sail.

"Larry, it just means that there is land ahead."

"Oh."

"Daffy Duck."

"Who's that?"

"Daffy Duck is a loony toon created by Chuck Jones."

"I should have said you daft bag."

"Did anyone hear me?" Norrington looked on bemused.

"Yes we did, love of my life- I mean yes we did." D-i-s blushed.

"Very well then. May I ask you to kindly untie the captain?" Norrington decided to ignore damsel-in-stress' little burst out.

"Aye, aye Norrington!" we untie Captain Jack. He is now sober. He picked up the bottle that caused this mess and read, "Root Beer." He threw it overboard and grabbed a bottle of rum.

"Hey! That's called littering!" I cried out.

"And be called I don't care." He replied.

"You gotta get it before a dolphin chokes on it!"

"Hmmm." Captain Jack jumps into the ocean and retrieves the bottle. If you didn't know, sailors and pirates are very superstitious. No don't sing the Rockwell song. It's true. And one thing they believed was that dolphins were the spirits of other people who had died while sailing. If a dolphin got caught in the net, they would let the dolphin go.

Captain Jack came back on deck. He looked like a drowned cat and his kohl was running.

"Thank ye." Mr. Gibbs addressed Captain Jack and sighed with relief.

Soon we were nearing the unnamed island. Okay I'm getting tired of referring to it by that name so from now on it's going to be called Rum Island. Our friends were still on Rum Island. One person stood out. Jareth was severely sunburned. Poor man. I know how much that hurts. When we dropped anchor and swam to Rum Island, I gave Deliciously Gorgeous a heavy coat, a hat, and some sunburn relief cream.

"Thank you." Pitiful Jareth said.

"Tis nothing." I put the sunburn cream on his back and then helped him into the coat. Remarkably, he even took the hat.

"Hi babes!" Beej shouted behind me.

"Haha! Can't scare me." I laughed.

"Awww…man." Beej snapped his fingers and kicked a can.

"Where's the Joker?"

"He's over there." Jareth pointed vaguely.

"So these be yer mates?" Captain Jack asked.

"Ja, du depp."

"Huh?"

"I said, yes you retard." I translated.

"Hehe, retard." Beej laughed.

"Oh no! What are those?" Jareth pointed to the sky.

"I think those are flying mules. RUN!"

"Thar be things ridin' em. They be pigmy pig people."

Ooooooooink! Charrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrge!" the pigmy pig people screeched.

"Joker we need your help!" I screamed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Joker clawed his way out of the sand and dusted himself off.

"Pause!" I shouted. Everyone was frozen except the Joker and I.

"What were you doing in the sand?"

"It's cooler in the sand than it is out in the sun.

"That actually makes sense. Did you hear damsel-in-stress call your name a little while ago?"

"Huh?" Rekoj shakes his head, "Sorry. I, uh, had sand in my ears."

"'s aight. Do you know how to use a cutlass?"

"Yes." He holds out his hand and I give him the cutlass that magically appeared in my hand. I also gave him a couple of Dagger and Muff Guns. Those are pocket pistols that have triangular folding bayonets attached.

"Play!" I shout. Everyone unfroze. Deliciously Gorgeous runs under a coconut tree being the sissy that he is. Captain Jack, Norrington, Mr. Gibbs, Marty, Pintel, Ragetti, and Mr. Cotton all took out their weapons. Joker and BJ joined them. Damsel-in-stress and I sat down on a conveniently placed log and watched. The pigmy bacon bit people jumped off their flying mules and ran straight at us at an alarming rate of speed. The battle began. Damsel-in-stress and I decided to join. I chased the little porkers around screeching, "Pork chops, ham, ribs, bacon, pork rinds!" I caught a couple. They are now my lunch-I mean prisoners.

Purple Rain ran and cut the heads off the pigmy pig people crying, "There can be only one!" after each head was cut off. It's obvious what show he enjoys watching.

Captain Jack and his crew were kicking butt and taking names. Norrington being the gentleman he is, would fight one by one in fair rules of sword dueling.

Damsel-in-stress was fighting six pigmies at one time with Tomato her pet potato in her left hand, and a cutlass in her right hand. Wow. Amazing.

Beej being himself was of course pulling pranks in the midst of battle. He would turn into a fork and knife and chase the pigmy people yelling, "Sueeeiiiiiiieeeeee pig!" I stopped and laughed.

Jareth was still cowering under the same coconut tree.

Soon the battle was winding down. We won. We only lost a tribble named Kahn that I forgot to mention. It would have just made things a whole lot worse. The Joker was acting crazier than usual. We couldn't get him calmed down. He was yelling and screaming. When someone came too close, he would lunge at that person. Finally I caught his attention. I then waked to the coconut tree that was currently occupied by the dignitiless, cowardly fae Jareth and calmly banged on the tree trunk. Coconuts rained down on his head. Some hit me. Boom and the rest of us fell down laughing and questioning our sanity. We do that already though.

A proud reader puffed out his chest and said, "_I_ don't."

I remarked, "Well you should. Most people who don't question their sanity are often the one who are insane."

Back to the story.

"Sorry Jareth." I sat down next to him on the conveniently placed log away from the others. "I had to think of something to calm Boom down. I got hit as well. That crap hurts."

"I think I may forgive you this one time. My ego is now totally gone."

"I can try to boost it a little. Later we will have other adventures to raise it further."

"How can you help?"

"I can teach you. I can tell you what to do. For instance, act dangerous. You see how they are acting?" I point at the men. They were all staring at a hole they just dug. They were exclaiming, "Yup. That's a good hole." Just like construction workers!

"They look like Neanderthals." Jareth whispered in my ear while we watched the guys scratch themselves. Men.

"Pfft!" I try not to laugh but with no success. I bust out laughing. "No, not at what they are doing. Look at their stances. See? Feet apart."

"Yes. What about it?"

"Well, in order to get on their good sides, you kind of have to act like them. Study them. Learn."

"Like National Geographic. Here we are getting close to discovering what makes guys do what they do."

"That's simple. They don't think."

"I do." Deliciously Gorgeous said looking hurt.

"I was just joking. Another thing is you have to have a sense of humor."

"I see."

"I'm paying attention to only you. Has your ego been boosted even a little bit?"

"Hmmm…" he gets out a device that looks like a watch. Only it has the words, 'no ego,' 'miniscule ego,' 'tiny ego,' 'small ego,' 'medium ego,' 'big ego,' 'huge ego,' 'gigantic ego,' 'Goblin King ego,' written around it with an arrow in the middle. The arrow was pointed directly at 'miniscule ego.' "Yes. Thank you." He grinned. I pretended to faint and fell off the log and hit my head on a crab which pinched my nose. Jareth laughed. His ego detector rose to 'tiny ego.'

Just then…


	34. Adventure 26: Pie Rates!

**The 26th Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: **_Pie Rates_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the PotC characters. The 100 rums quote is a play on the 100 beers quote made by Nathan Explosion in Metalocalypse. Dr. Frankfurter is owned by Rocky Horror Picture Show. The Romans and Greeks own the Hydra. I do not own damsel-in-stress. She is a real person and I highly recommend her fanfics on here. I don't own Jareth but I want to and plan on taking over the world along with Pinky and Brain just to get him. So back off! And remember…reviews make me update sooner unless I have writer's block. In which case I'll bang my head against the nearest wall._

The Squires That Say In and King Arbor and The Knight Of The Triangle Table surrounded us. They were looking for the Holy Pail. Actually, The Squires That Say In were looking for a giant venus flytrap. So we gave them Audrey Jr., they man-eating plant. They were never heard from again. We never found the Holy Pail.

I passed out. "Man that was a weird dream." The crab still hasn't let go of my nose. I decided to name it- I mean her Olga.

"You were mumbling things like Holy Pail and all sorts of weird things." Jareth looked concerned. "Did you get drunk before you came to rescue us?" he raised an eyebrow.

I shifted my eyes, "Maybe."

Olga finally let go of my nose. She then scurried off to Captain Jack, who along with the rest of the guys was still staring at the same hole. Olga snapped her claws together to get Captain Jack's attention. She had heart eyes just like in some cartoons. I guess she fell in love with him. Finally Captain Jack looked down and seeing the expression on her, uh, face said, "Sorry lass, I don't float that boat." Olga was heartbroken. That heartbrokenness became rage. She promptly pinched Captain Jack's toe and scurried off to the water. Jareth and I laughed while Captain Jack scowled at us. Damsel-in-stress was asking Norrington questions.

"Let's be off." said Captain Jack then swam to The Black Pearl.

"Where are we off to?" Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag asked still acting as the main sail.

"Tortuga."

"All aboard!" damsel-in-stress shouted.

"Hoist the sails! Weigh anchor!" Captain Jack yelled to the crew.

We all climbed aboard looking like drowned rats. Joker had make-up streaming down his face. He just let it be. It was disturbing. Jareth used his Goblin King Powers to get us dry. Well, he, damsel-in-stress, and I dry at least. The rest suffered. We all helped the crew get ready to sail to Tortuga. It took us about five weeks to get to Tortuga. During that time Deliciously Gorgeous and I discovered that we had many things in common; for instance: we are both ceramicists, lovers of classic rock, and we like the movie Tron. Damsel-in-stress spent her time trying to catch Norrington in weird situations. She would poke him every five minutes, stating that he is handsome and the she loves him. Use your imagination for the rest of that anecdote. Beej would float around The Black Pearl and scare the fish. Mr. Gibbs didn't take too kindly to Beej. Joker spent his time crocheting sweaters with hair from his back and belly button lint. I think the heat and sun did something to his already damaged mind. Captain Jack, our fearless leader was drunk. Pintel and Raghetti were of course being idiots.

"Oy! Thas not fair!"

"You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is." I imitate Jareth.

We finally made it to Tortuga. There were people selling pies. Shepherd's pie, cherry pie, human pie, peach pie, apple pie, all sorts of pie.

The vendors were shouting "Pie rates! Yes, pie rates are low today so come on and get your pie!"

Needless to say, we were weirded out.

"Mmm…pie." sighed Larry TIPB.

"Uh, which stand did you get that pie from?" damsel-in-stress asked.

"The one on the left." He kind of pointed a corner of his bagginess to that particular vendor.

"That be cat pie yer eatin' mate." Captain Jack pointed out.

"Hmm… tastes good to me."

"Yuck!" I wrinkled my nose.

"Wow! They have bug pie!" The Ghost With The Most shrieked like a schoolgirl.

"Like gag me with a spoon." Damsel-in-stress rolled her eyes and walked to the nearest tavern. The rest of us followed her.

"I need 100 rums exactly. Exactly 100. Thank you." Captain Jack said to the bartender. The band was playing, or making noise. Whatev. They sucked.

"I'll have a Root Beer." I say to the same bartender. He hands me a bottle. I take a huge gulp and spit it out. It wasn't Root Beer. It was grog. I spit it out and it landed on a vampire pirate that was nursing a bottle of blood. So that was why there was a dead body out front. He was soaked in my groggy spit. I'm going to call him Cutler. Nobody messes with my Root Beer. I killed the bartender. Cutler threw a bottle of mead at the Joker. The Joker threw a bottle of grog at Jareth. Jareth threw a banana daiquiri, nah it was rum, at a pirate named Edward. A huge brawl erupted. People were punching, kicking and biting. The band started to play a lot better. Jareth was some kind of madman. Finally he's showing that he has some…well, you get the idea. *cough* look at pants *cough* Left jab, uppercut, right jab, head butt…Deliciously Gorgeous won! Edward unfortunately suffered from a concussion and did not wake up.

"Speak fer yerself." Edward said as he walked by me.

I ran to Jareth and gave him a big hug. He took out his ego detector. It was on big ego.

"You did it! You made your ego rise higher!" I shouted and gave him another huge hug. He smiled down at me.

"Thank you." He said and went back into the crowd to fight some more. Norrington was protecting damsel-in-stress. It seems she tripped on a banana peel. Jareth went up to this big, huge, gigantic dude named Midget and punched him right in the face. Deliciously Gorgeous walked back towards me and showed me his ego detector again. It was now on Goblin King ego. He grinned charmingly and gave me a hug that lasted five minutes. WE were interrupted by a very drunk Captain Jack.

"We need ta get out of here quickly." He shouted over the shrieks and screams of agony. We ran out of there in a hurry.

Pie rates are low today! Get your pies!" The pie vendors were shouting at us as we ran by. Norrington, who was carrying a rather confused damsel-in-stress, followed as did BJ and Rekoj.

"Why did we 'ave ta leave?" Pintel whined.

"I got me rum an' tha's all I wanted." Captain Jack slurred and wobbled, leading the way back to the Black Pearl. But before we were able to even see the famous black ship, we ran into Scarlett and Giselle. They both slapped our captain.

"You must not be very popular with the ladies." Joker said solemnly.

"I don't think I deserved that."

"Today is Slap Jack Day." Giselle and Scarlett explained.

"Hmmm…." I slap Captain Jack.

"Oy! I know I didn't deserve that!" he protested.

"I just felt like doing that. It was fun." Joker was turned around. He was in the middle of killing a transvestite by the name of Dr. Frankfurter.

"That'll teach you to call me a wench!" he snarled.

"Alright….wench." damsel-in-stress laughed.

"I meant not to call me a wench."

"Sure ya did."

"Don't make me kill you too." He snapped.

"Are you two quite finished?" Norrington glared.

"Almost…..yes." we passed an unconscious bloke lying down in the mud. We were now approaching The Black Pearl.

"Weigh anchor!" Captain Jack slurred.

We left Tortuga, and then we all slept. When we woke up, we were woozy. Hahaha! I love alliteration. It's so much fun.

Any way, we were really woozy, we were just a bit hungover and sore from last night's brawls. I stayed inside my cabin because I had a killer headache and the sun was too bright. Jareth came into my cabin and poofed some Tylenol from the future for me.

"Thank you." I squinted my eyes.

"Do you need anything else?" Jareth whispered.

"A nice, dark place." I replied weakly.

"Hmm… I'll see what I can do." He transported us to a nice quiet, dark cavern where I could get sleep in peace. Deliciously Gorgeous watched over me and stood guard occasionally pushing stray hairs out of my face while I slept.

Let us see what our friends are up to.

Damsel-in-stress was bugging Norrington playfully. He played along. Looks like he finally got off his high-horse. Captain Jack was drinking more rum. I wonder how much he drinks in a day. BJ was searching for bugs on the Black Pearl. He found a ton on the lower decks. Rekoj was taking a nap in the Crow's Nest. Larry TIPB was relieved of his duty because Mr. Gibbs found a black main sail. Larry TIPB was now recovering from a rare sickness called Baggy Sailneosis. Mr. Cotton's Parrot was trying to fight off a case of extreme diarrhea. Let's just say the crew had extra cleaning duties.

Let's go back and see what Jareth and I are up to.

I was still sleeping off my very first hangover when Jareth woke me up.

"What is it?" I yawned.

"I hear someone approaching." He whispered. "Be quiet and hide." He hid with me. We were very close together. I mean like my face was squished to his chest close. To be more comfortable, we put our arms each other. The footsteps were creepily creeping closer. We huddled closer together in fright. The owner of the footsteps came into our view, or rather Jareth's view. My face was still squished to his chest. I could barely breathe properly. It was a Hydra. We were in deep trouble.

"Christa, there's something I've been meaning to tell you." Jareth whispered to me.

"Wamph imph impl?" I asked in squishinese.

"I-"

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_A/N: Haha! Another cliffhanger. Tune in next time to see what happen. Be kind and review._


	35. Adventure 27: Uh oh!

**The 27****th**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: **_**Uh oh!**_

"Where is DethRose and Jareth?" Damsel-in-stress asked Norrington.

"The last I saw of Miss DethRose and Mr. Jareth, they were both in her cabin. I don't think you should go in there."

"I'll just take a peek." She walks to my cabin/ she puts her ear to the door and hears nothing. She knocks on the door. "DethRose? Jareth? Are you two in there?" she opens the door and sees……..nothing. No one was in there. "Uh…….Norrington, they aren't in there."

"I'll check Mr. Jareth's cabin." Norrington did the same things that damsel-in-stress did. He jogs over to damsel-in-stress. "They are not in his cabin either."

"Captain!" damsel-in-stress yelled.

"Aye?" Captain Jack wobbled towards them.

"We can't find DethRose or Jareth."

"Did ye check their cabins?"

"Yes."

"I'll get me crew to check the whole ship."

"Thanks."

"All hands on deck! We have a situation. We have two missing persons. Check the water, check each cabin and every deck. Move!"

Five hours later the crew finished checking every nook and cranny of the ship. Even the crates. BJ and Joker helped.

"They are no where on the ship or in the ocean." The Joker reported.

"Aw babes! Where are you?!" BJ shouted.

"When were they last seen?"

"In DethRose's cabin about ten hours ago."

"Should we backtrack?"

"I think perhaps they have disappeared." Raghetti spoke up.

"I suppose you are correct." Norrington commented.

"Maybe they'll come back." Larry TIPB said.

Meanwhile….

"ROOOOOOAR!" Jareth and I were spotted by the fearsome nine-headed Hydra. We hugged each other tighter, waiting for our demise.

"Why do you just stand there? Run so I can have some fun chasing you." The Hydra growled, We were frozen together in fear.

"I-i-i-I'm s-s-s-s-s-sorry th-th-that w-w-w-we invaded y-y-y-your home." Jareth uttered.

"Well, so this one can talk. I wonder about the other one." It mused.

"Ysoycntlk." I said still smushed to Deliciously Gorgeous's gorgeous chest.

"What was that? I could not understand you." The hydra hissed.

I move my head sideways facing the beast and took a lungful of fetid and damp air. "I-i-i-i-i c-c-c-can t-t-t-t-talk."

"Hahahaheeheehoo!" So you are not mute." The monster howled with laughter. "Pity. If you were, I would have eaten you." Jareth and I didn't say anything. "What are you two doing in my home?"

"Sh-she had a headache an-and w-w-w-wanted t-t-t-t-to g-g-go t-t-to a q-q-q-q-q-quiet d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dark p-place." Jareth stuttered.

"Is this true little girl?"

"Y-y-y-yes."

"So you are not after my treasures?"

Jareth and I shake our heads. My head bumped into Jareth's chest.

"I guess that would explain why neither of you have any weapons." The Hydra wondered.

"What's your name?" I asked curiously.

"Eljay."

"I have a lavagami piece with a hat, sunglasses and tie by the same name! I call it Eljay Red, the distant cousin of the Blues Brothers!" I burst out excitedly.

"Christa?" Jareth whispered.

"Your name is Christa? What is his name?"

"Jareth. I go by DethRose in this story though."

"Alright _DethRose and Jareth._ I have made a decision. I'll give you a head start. Five seconds to be exact. If I catch you, I will eat you. If you somehow manage to get away, I will hunt you down and then kill you. If by some twist of fate I die, my sister will kill you."

"So no matter what we do, we'll die?"

"Yes."

"That's not right."

"Five, four…." Eljay started counting. We ran.

"Jareth?"

"Yes?"

"Teleport us."

"Good idea." He teleported us back to my cabin. We collapsed on the floor. We were out of breath and were shaking.

"What were you going to say back there?"

"I wanted to say that I really like you." He blushed.

"I really like you too." Now it was my turn to blush. We lay in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't awkward at all. We were just thinking and trying to get over our fright from a few moments ago. Finally I broke the silence. "Do you think we should wait in here or get out and let the others know we are back?"

"I want to go back to my castle to be honest."

"Me too. How about we go and get the others and tell them?"

"Sure." We left my cabin and walked on deck. No less than three seconds passed and we were surrounded by old friends and new.

"Where have you two been?" Larry TIPB surrounded us in his plastic bagginess for a hug. Not intended as innuendo I swear.

"Well, it started out, I asked Jareth to take me some where dark and quiet."

"For what reason?" BJ smirked.

"My first hangover you perverted ghost. You see, I already get painful migraines. I become sensitive to light, sounds and smells. Each one of them make my head hurt worse. Usually I take medicine to get rid of it. Sometimes that doesn't help. Jareth was kind enough to poof some Tylenol from the future. He then asked if he do anything else for me. I replied that I wanted to go to a dark place. He teleported us to a cavern."

"All she wanted was some sleep. I stood watch and guarded her. I heard something coming towards us, so I woke her up and we both hid."

"What was it?"

"A Hydra. It's not is Eljay. It told us to start running and if it caught us, it would eat us. If we escaped, it would hunt us down. If it dies, it's sister will kill us. We started to run. She," Jareth pointed to me, "told me to teleport us back here. We want to go back home."

"Well, I don't think I can match that story." Mr. Gibbs threw his head back and laughed.

"You had quite an adventure." Norrington noted.

"I want to stay!" damsel-in-stress cried clutching Norrington's arm.

"To tell you the truth, I want to go back to my own movieverse." Joker said.

"So do I babes. I mean, I've had fun, but I kinda miss annoying the Neitherworld."

"There's nothing I can do to change your minds?" I cried.

"Well, there is one thing." BJ said and arched an eyebrow suggestively.

"Ew! You pervert!" I flinched away and gagged.

"Oh well. It was worth a try." BJ laughed. "So long folks!" and poofed away to his home, the Neitherworld.

"How about you?" I asked Boom.

"Uh, it's really nothing personal, I just want to, uh, outwit Batman again."

"Is it all right if I poof you back sometimes?"

"Of course." He said smiling that disturbingly wide smile. I gave him a hug and gave him back all of his weapons. "You can keep this." He held out the switchblade I admired when he first arrived. I flicked the blade and admired it again.

"Thank you." I cry and give him another hug.

"We'll miss you." Damsel-in-stress sobbed. The Joker gave her a potato peeler as a gag. She gasped and held Tomato the Pet Potato to her chest. Joker laughed. She started laughing too and gave him a hug.

"Goodbye." He says before I teleport him back to Gotham City.

"Well, what arrrre ye goin' to do?" Captain Jack asked.

"Jareth?"

"Let's go on a couple more adventures." He says mismatched eyes gleaming with amusement.

"I heard ye say that thar be a couple a monsters that need slaying." Captain Jack said. "What say ye we hint 'em down."

"Aye!" the crew, Norrington, damsel-in-stress, Larry TIPB, Jareth and I shouted.

"Then let's be off!"


	36. Commercial Break 9

**Commercial Break 9**

Attention viewers! We have been experimenting, and now we have a new hair product for your enemies. It's called Shampoo!

"But isn't there already a hair product called shampoo?

Yes, but this is _special _shampoo.

"How is it special? Come on, come on tell me!"

I'll tell you if you'll just shut up! I mean really! I haven't got to that part yet!

"Sorry."

As I was saying, this shampoo is for your enemies. Gift wrap it for a surprise. Shampoo is completely organic. It was originally going to be called Shamu's Shampoo but Shamu is clearly copyrighted by Sea World. Don't use it yourself. And the price is reasonable. It costs 5 bucks.

"But why can't I use it myself?"

You know what. Here. Figure it out yourself. Oh Spock I need a Root Beer.


	37. Adventure 28: Hunt For Eljay The Hydra

**The 28****th**** Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: **_**Hunt For Eljay The Hydra**_

In our last adventure, Jareth and I escaped the Hydra. Beetlejuice and the Joker wanted to go back to their own universes. There was much crying and a little innuendo from our Ghost With The Most. Damsel-in-stress, Jareth, Larry TIPB and I, after a big debate decided to have a few more adventures with Captain Jack Sparrow, his crew, and Norrington. In this adventure we will hunt down Eljay the Hydra, who threatened Deliciously Gorgeous and my lives.

"_We are the pirates who don't do anything. _

_We just home and lie around. _

_And if you ask us to do anything, _

_We'll just tell you, _

_We don't do anything."_ I sing.

_"Well I've never been to Greenland _

_And I've never been to Denver,_

_And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul,_

_And I've never been to Tampa," _damsel sings.

_"And we've never been to Boston in the fall." _We finish together doing jazz hands. We sang horribly so you can imagine the gratitude and relief of the crew.

"That was…" Deliciously Gorgeous couldn't come up with complement. I laugh, damsel joins in. Captain Jack took that moment to take off the ridiculous headphones he was wearing to drown out our singing. They were hot pink and had bunny rabbits and duckies wearing ballerina slippers and tutus. Jareth laughs along with us after witnessing the now famous pair of headphones.

"Oooo… I want those!" Larry TIPB shrieks.

"No! They be mine!" Captain Jack holds the headphones protectively to his chest as if they were a wee little baby.

"I'm glad you're not that girly," I say to Jareth, "even though you wear lip balm, eye shadow and glitter." Deliciously Gorgeous scowls at me.

"We best be off." Captain Jack blushes.

"If DethRose and I work together, we could probably transport the whole ship to the cavern." Deliciously Gorgeous speaks out.

"It might work." I say after pausing a moment to think it through. We hold hands and concentrate on what the cavern looked like. Any little landmark that would help distinguish the cavern from any other one. You might be thinking that the most distinguishing feature would be a giant Hydra, but that would be too easy. We think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think, and think. Finally! We both remember that there was a rainbow waterfall with little miniature shroom people prancing around. I forgot to mention that in the last two adventures. Sorry, my bad. Deliciously Gorgeous and I open our eyes.

"Are there any other caverns with rainbow waterfalls and little miniature shroom people prancing around?" Deliciously Gorgeous asks the Captain.

"Thar be only one."

"Ready?" Deliciously Gorgeous asks me. I nod. "Nobody move." He addresses everyone. We close our eyes and concentrate on moving the ship.

There is a sponge and a starfish in the water. The sponge is watching a particular ship. That particular ship disappears right before his eyes.

"Patrick! Did you see that?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…no. What was it? I was too busy removing my bellybutton lint." The starfish says.

"It was great! There was a ship and then it disappeared!" The sponge raises his voice in excitement.

"Spongebob, I think you're lying." The starfish shakes his head.

We were in the Rainbow Waterfall Cavern. We made it! We sing a song just like in Dora the Explorer.

"Oh fudge monkeys. I don't think we should have done that." Larry TIPB whispers.

RRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!" In a running bound, Eljay reaches us. Damsel clings to Norrington. Jareth and I hug each other. Captain Jack and his crew stand their ground. After all, they did fight the mighty Kraken. Larry TIPB takes a step forward. "I see you brought more food." Eljay mocks in a menacing tone.

"So you are Eljay." Larry TIPB says.

"Yesssssss." Eljay hisses. Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag takes this time to transform to Larry The Imaginary Trash Bag. Ha. Alliteration. I love it.

Larry TITB kind of floats up to one of Eljay's heads. "If you don't leave my friends alone, you _will_ pay."

"What would you do if I don't? Flap me to death? Hahahaha!" Eljay booms with laughter.

"You better watch it, he killed a clown and a flying t-rex skull." Damsel says still clinging to Norrington.

"Why do I care you tasty little morsel."

"The same will happen to you." Larry TITB says. One of Eljay's heads lunges towards Norrington and damsel. Just as the head gets within a few inches of them, a shot rings out and the head slumps over. Eljay snarls in pained rage and turns towards the gunshot. Captain Jack is holding a smoking pistol.

"He told you to leave us alone mate." Captain Jack whispers clearly. Could it be possibly true that Captain Jack is sober for once?

"You will die because of that!" Eljay hisses dangerously. Three new heads sprout from his neck. Now he has 11 heads. He sprints straight toward Captain Jack and his crew. Larry TITB races him and wraps around 7 heads. Those heads suffocate. Twenty-one heads pop up. There are now 25. This is getting out of hand now. Deliciously Gorgeous and I try to stop Eljay from producing more heads.

"It's not working." Norrington observes.

"It looks like you guys need a hero." A voice rings.

"No shtick Sherlock." Damsel rolls her eyes.

"Who are you?" Captain Jack looks over his shoulder after shooting another head.

"I am Hercules."

"Oh fudge." Eljay curses and snaps at Larry TITB.

"I will need some help." Hercules yelled over Eljays snarl.

"I'll help." Larry TITB replied.

"Alright. I need you to come here." Hercules told Larry TITB. He whispers into his, uh, ear? Larry TITB ascended into the air and flew around Eljay in a circle. "I need fire."

"We can do that." I say. "Jareth?"

"Yes?"

"Call the Fireys."

"Hey you guys!" he booms. Balls of fire rained down and exploded when they hit the ground. Five craters were made. Out of those craters climb the Fireys.

"Yes boss?"

"Chilly down." Jareth rolls his eyes at the stupidness of the command.

"Ahahahahahaha!" the Fireys cackle. Fireballs spontaneously from the palms of their hands.

"You." Hercules points to Norrington. "I need your weapon." Norrington hands over his beloved sword, noticing that the hero already had his own. "When I say now, throw the fireballs at me." He says to the waiting Fireys.

"I'm getting tired!" Larry TITB yells out of breath.

"Just keep going for a few more minutes." Hercules responds then turns to the Fireys. "Now!" The Fireys throw their fireballs at the hero now on fire. He leaps into the air. A bright beam of light bursts out of nowhere. It is Pegasus! Hercules lands on his back as he flew close to Eljay the now infuriated Hydra. Hercules decapitates each head using Norringtons flaming sword. We wait for more heads to regenerate. None do. After a few more decapitations followed by a death scream, it is done. We are bathed in blood.

"Thank Spock!" Larry TITB crashes down and transforms back into Larry TIPB and falls unconscious.

"Now we have to worry about his sister." Captain Jack reminds us. WE take our positions. Hercules hands Norrington his sword. It's as beautiful as it has ever been. Damsel is thrown a sword by Hercules. Deliciously Gorgeous and I look intently on where we think Eljays sister will pop up from. Pegasus snorts. We wait. No one makes a sound so we could hear Rainbow Falls and the miniature shroom people sing.

"We represent the toadstool guild, the toadstool guild, the toadstool guild. And in the name of the toadstool guilllllld we-" one of the Fireys throw their head at them. The miniature shroom people are no more. The Fireys cackle. Soon we hear a humming sound. A bubble appears and grows bigger until it popped. A woman emerged.

"Could you quit with the Wizard Of Oz references! Start over!" grumbles an irate reader.

"Fine!" I snap.

We hear a humming sound. Then it turns into an ear-shattering shriek. We put our hands over our ears and wince as the noise gets louder until it's driving us crazy. Then abruptly it stops. A figure rises from the ground and turns out to be a woman. She is dressed in a white polyester leisure suit with gold fringes. She looks like a female Elvis Presley. She speaks.

"Hey ya'll. Thank you, thank you very much for destroyin' my brother. Ya'll choose a treasure from this here pile of loot." She does a little dance to the pile of treasure. Captain Jack and his crew dive in and shout in pirate joy.

"Pirates." Norrington mutters.


	38. Adventure 29: The Last Pirate Adventure

The 29th Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: _The Last Pirate Adventure_

"What are ya'll waiting for? Get your treasure." The female Elvis impersonator asked those who were not pirates.

"No thank you." Jareth replied. Dog growls could be heard coming from the pirates swimming in the treasure pile. "I'd rather not get rabies." A dog squeal rang out followed by howling. ?WE watched the pirates fight for treasure. It was disturbingly amusing.

"I've got to go now." Hercules got on Pegasus and they flew away. The Fireys were playing body poker.

"What are you?" damsel-in-stress finally asked the question we all wanted to ask the strange woman.

"I'm a foxy lady." She said and did a dance. After that we just ignored her until she left. A final howl and the pirates walked back with torn clothes and guilty expressions. One pirate was missing.

"Did you have fun?" I asked Captain Jack.

"Sorry ya had ta see that luvs." The band of pirates, now wearing rings, necklaces, and jewels hung their heads in shame.

"All the respect I had for you is now gone." Norrington shot.

"That was bit harsh." Damsel-in-stress said.

"Let us go back on the ship and go somewhere else." We all get back on. Jarth and I held hands and transported us back to the ocean.

"Patrick!"

"Hmm?"

"It's back!"

"I believe this ship of yours is a figment of your imagination."

"But look."

"Alright SpongeBob. I'll look just to prove you- hey! There really is a ship!"

Meanwhile…

"What are we to do now?" asked a new pirate who doesn't have a name yet. I think I'll call him Sparky.

"We wait." Captain Jack responded.

"For what?"

"Me bloomin 'ead ta explode!"

"Temper, temper. Take deep breaths and count to ten." Larry TIPB said as he recovered from being unconscious. Captain Jack does this and the pretty purple color that was on his cheeks left.

"So long Jack" the pretty purple shouted over its shoulder.

"Er, aye." Captain Jack said wondering if damsel and I switched his rum with Root beer again.

"Rum needs to be capitalized too. It's also an important drink." Captain Jack says over looking over my shoulder.

"Alright."

"We could take a nap. I'm tired." I suggested.

"Ye can do that. What of the rest of us?"

"Try to teach the monkey to fly. I don't know. G-day." I yawned and walked away to my cabin.

"Well we could-" damsel stopped, "Is that a llamacorn?" she said pointing a funky looking mutant animal.

"I have never seen such a weird looking creature." Norrington made a move to go toward it.

"I have. I once saw an albino tigercorn with wings. But that was in the Underground. I had no idea that strange animals were anywhere else." Jareth said.

"Gnraaaww." Said the llamacorn and trotted off. Norrington was moving slowly towards it.

"I think you should quit following it. Llamas are known to spit in faces." Damsel informed Norrington.

"How are we supposed to get off the ship?" Norrington asked.

"I could make it go somewhere else if it is bothering you." Jareth replied.

"Uh, help!" Larry TIPB squeaked as the llamacorn tried to devour him. Jareth took out a crystal ball and threw it at the llamacorn. It disappeared.

"Are ye fine?"

"Yes." Larry had holes where the teeth crunched down. Deliciously Gorgeous healed him. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'm bored!" damsel moaned.

"Rum?" Captain Jack held out a bottle.

"Nah."

"Suit yerself." He shrugged and gulped down the contents of the bottle.

"It's showtime!" a voice echoed. "Hi babs! Miss me?" It was Beetlejuice he came back!

"Oh my Spock!" damsel-in-stress gave the ghost a big hug that would crush the living. "What are you doing back here?"

"Well, after all the adventures we had, the Nietherworld just didn't seem as exciting as it once was. I decided to come back." BJ awkwardly patted damsels head.

"It is kind of boring without you." Jareth said.

"Well be bored no more." BJ laughed knowing that the line Jareth just said held much innuendo if you read it wrong or if you have a dirty mind like himself. You perverts! Shame on you! Oh well, I guess we are all perverts at heart.

"What's going on here?" I asked. I rubbed my eyes. My hair was tousled from sllep and sticking out in every direction.

"Babs!" BJ floated over and kissed me on the lips.

"Eeeeewww!" I cried now awake and green. I gagged a few times. BJ tried to look hurt but was ruined because he was cackling. The rest of us were laughing as well. We calmed down and sat on the deck in a circle. We were trying to decide what to do.

"Hunt monsters?" Captain Jack suggested.

"There are no more around."

"Let's play Truth Or Dare!" Larry TIPB shouted.

"How does one play?" Norrington inquired. We explained how it worked.

"So let's get started. Who goes first?" damsel asks.

"I guess I'll go first." Larry TIPB, the brave says.

"Truth or dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to dress up like a chicken." Larry TIPB dons a chicken costume and clucked for effect.

"Alright, truth or dare." Larry TIPB says to Mr. Gibbs.

"Truth."

"Is it true that you are really that superstitious or is it just a cover up for being incredibly smart?"

"I am incredibly smart." He says. "Jack, truth or dare."

"Dare mate."

"I dare you to quit drinking for an entire day." Mr. Gibbs smirks.

"Ye mean fer 24 hours?" we all wait in suspense for his answer. "I suppose I could." He twitches a little. "Jareth, truth or dare."

"Dare."

"I dare ye ta put on a different pair of pants. Some that aren't too, ah, tight." Jareth goes to his cabin and changes his clothes. He comes out wearing a black t-shirt that says 'It takes a real man to wear glitter,' and black baggy cargos. His hair is still how it always is. Damsel and I stare in awe.

"DethRose, truth or dare."

"I dare you to write a poem about me." He says with a smirk.

"Hmm…It will take me awhile to think of one."

"You can still play the game and think of later on."

"I think that would work best." I reply. "Damsel, truth or dare."

" Dare."

"I dare you to smell Captain Jacks boots."

"Ew, gross!" I'll do it." Captain Jacks takes his boots off and hands them over to damsel. She smells them and runs to the side of the ship and heaves. We laugh as she comes back. "Truth or dare Norrington."

"Truth."

"Is it true that you like me?" she bats her eyelashes at him.

"Yes." He blushes.

"My turn my turn!" BJ bounces on his bottom.

"Alright truth or dare."

"Dare."

"I dare you to take a bath."

"No! Anything but that!" he screams and turns into a mouse.

"you have to do it."

"No."

"The rule is that you have to do it."

"I'd rather die than take a bath."

"Uh, you're already dead. Now you really have to."

"Grr…fine." He leaves and enters a bathroom and takes a bath. We wait for him to return. He did take a bath. Now he smells like eucalyptus and spearmint and deodorant. He even changes his cloths and brushed his hair. Instead of being dirty blond, his hair was almost white. He wears a scowl and refuses to join our game. We continue for a while then quit when the sun was setting. I start on my poem and fall asleep. I awake when the sun is up and write some more. Someone knocks on my door.

"Come in." I say. It is Jareth.

"Are you finished with my poem?" he asks me.

"I started on it last night but fell asleep. I'm sorry."

"There is no hurry. Take your time." He leans over my shoulder to read what I have written so far. "Very good." He smiles and gives me hug and leaves me to write more. Four hours later, I hear someone tapping, tapping at my chamber door.

"Come in." It was Jareth again with a tray of food. There is two oranges, some carrots, a couple slices of cold chicken breast and sparkling white grape juice. There is also a white rose on the tray as well.

"Thank you."

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"I would love it if you would." I blush. I put down my trusty pen, a Pilot P-700 Fine tip 0.7, and set the poem aside.

"Jareth sets the food down on my desk and sits down in front of me.

During this time, something was happening on deck. Let's go see what is happening.

"Norrie!"

"Yes?"

"Where is Tomato?"

"I thought she was sitting under the main mast."

"She's not there. Can you help me find her?"

"Of course." Norrington takes damsels hand and helps her look for her missing pet potato.

"Tomato! Where are you?" she calls out. Little did we all know, Tomato grew arms and legs and is exploring the ship. During this time, BJ and Larry TIPB are bugging the crew and Captain Jack is the fetal position murmuring crazy things to himself because he hasn't drunk any rum today. Wow. He flinches at every little noise and shrieks. Finally Tomato sneaks back on deck and sits back down.

"Tomato, there you are!" damsel picks up the spud and hugs her. She then notices the appendages that Tomato grew. "So that's why I couldn't find you. Norrie, look! She grew arms and legs!"

"I see that." He smiles and gives her a hug.

Meanwhile…

"That was delicious. Thanks you Jareth."

"You're welcome. I thought you might have been hungry and needed someone to talk to."

"That Hydra scared me. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since we escaped him."

"Even after we slayed him?"

"Yes. I keep seeing him in my dreams, both alive and dead."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I think that would help."

"What were you frightened of?"

"Dying and all the heads."

"I wouldn't let anything happen to you. You know that, don't you?"

"It's just that staring at something that huge and bent on killing us really…" I break off trying not to be afraid but failing miserably.

"I know. You don't have to be afraid anymore. I'm here. I always will be." He gets up from his chair and wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace. "I was afraid too. I thought I would lose you." He whispers in my ear. "I love you." He steps back and stares intently into my eyes.

"I love you too." I say without breaking his gaze.

Meanwhile…

"Ya see, there's a technique to scaring. Ya have ta follow a person silently. Then when they are occupied, you scream." BJ informs Larry TIPB. "Here, I'll show you." They follow Raghetti around. When Raghetti is talking to Pintel about dresses, BJ attacks.

"Yyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!" he screams as loud as he can. Pintel and Raghetti both scream like small schoolgirls.

"Eeeeeeeeeeek!" They scream. BJ and Larry TIPB are laughing so hard, they had tears running down their faces. Well, Larry TIPB had tears running down his uh, plastic? Yeah, plastic.

"What just happened." Damsel-in-stress says coming out of nowhere followed by Norrington. Captain Jack screams and runs into his Captain's Quarters. Many bolts and locks could be heard. Jareth and I run out of my room to see what all the commotion was about. BJ and Larry TIPB can't answer. We finally figure out what happened when we see how pale Pintel and Raghetti is.

"Well."

"Yeah." damsel replies. "I'm ready to go."

"Now?" Norrington all but cries. They shared a kiss worthy of the cheesiest romance movies. *cough* Earth Girls Are Easy *cough* After they get done, we say our goodbyes to our new friends. Norrington is crying, and Captain Jack had about a bajillion bottles of rum and was working on them. We leave and return to the Underground.

"It's good to be home." Jareth sighs.

"Where have all of you been?!"


	39. Adventure 30: Back 2 Da Undaground

The 30th Adventure of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: Back 2 Da Undaground

"It's kind of hard to explain but, we were on a pirate ship. That's all I'm going to say." Damsel cries still mourning for her love, Norrington.

"Er….okay." our missing comrade the Doctor muttered.

"Well, we had many adventures as well." Ziggy Stardust says. You may read their adventures in the upcoming **The Doctor and Ziggy Stardust Adventures** by The Farces Of Evil. Shameless self-promoting.

"Could you give us a synopsis at least?" the Doctor asks.

"Sure." Deliciously Gorgeous smiles, happy to be home.

"Damsel, Larry TIPB, and I landed onboard of the Black Pearl."

"Jareth, the Joker, and I landed on an island." BJ adds.

"We went to rescue them. I got stuck being a sail."

"WE fought pigmy pig people and won. We got off the island and went to Tortuga."

"I got my first hangover then…" I stop, Jareth holds my hand. "Jareth took me to a cave so I could sleep my hangover off. There was a hydra."

"It tried to eat them! But they got away. We went back to the cave because the Hydra said it would hunt them down."

"Rockin' Socks and I went back to our movieverses. I came back, obviously."

"Hercules came and Jareth called the Fireys to help kill Eljay the Hydra. I turned into a Trash Bag and helped. Oh! Captain Jack was there along with Norrington!"

"Hercules killed Eljay the his sister came. She looked like a female Elvis. She was retarded. She gave treasure and left."

"We played truth or dare then we came back here."

"By Captain Jack, do you mean Captain Jack Harkness?"

"No. Captain Jack Sparrow." We lapse into silence to think about things.

"What did the cave look like?"

"A cave. I'm just joking. It had a rainbow waterfall and little miniature shroom-people. They had an unfortunate accident and are now extinct."

"I think I might have gone there at some point." Mutters the Doctor, thinking out loud. "There wasn't a hydra at the time."

"Hey. Whats are we doings heres?" Skwisgaar Skwigelf comes out of a room rubbing his head.

"Skwis!" I yell. He looks surprised.

"Does I knows yous?"

"Yeah you know me. You were here for a while."

"Oh! Yous de girl wit de dragons!"

"Yeah! I don't know why you are here. Are the others around?"

"Is don'ts know." He shrugs.

"Hey guys!" a deep voice yells. It is Nathan Explosion.

"Aw *riff* Not again!" William Murderface curses.

"Hey doods." Pickles wobbles into the room.

"Where's Toki?"

"Playing with the *riff* weird creatures." Nathan mutters.

"Scho, what next?"

"I could send you back."

"Yeah alrights." They disappear. I call Domo and tell him to follow Dethklok. He could stay with Skwisgaar because he wanted a dragon.

"Hmm… Mordhaus. I always wanted to go there." Domo replies telepathically.

"That was weird."

"Yeah, and all we've been through hasn't been weird." Larry TIPB retorts.

"I suppose you're right."

"I miss Norrington!" damsel cries. The Doctor tries to comfort her but she is inconsolable.

"I think Norrington might be depressed as well. Should go get him?" I whisper to Jareth.

"Yes. She doesn't look happy." He whispers back. I leave and bring back Norrington.

"Damsel!!!" he runs to her and kisses her. We look away. BJ is cajoling them but they don't pay him any attention. Oh Spock! I just noticed that this story is becoming a romance. That happened fast. Oh well.

"Awwww…." Says a random reader. "How cute."

"Awkward." Ziggy Stardust mumbles. Finally the kiss ends.

"Sorry." Damsel and Norrington blush.

"I'm pooped." Larry TIPB wisely changes the subject.

"I'm kinda tired too." I reply. We go off to our rooms. Jareth stays to show Norrington the room he will be staying in. Then he went to his own room. He dresses for bed, slides under the down comforter and falls asleep with a small smile touching his lips.

All of us awaken by a loud crash. Following my rules on How To Survive A Horror Movie, we don't investigate. Instead we creep into a Danger Room that magically appears produced by the Labyrinth itself. Damsel and Norrington snog in a corner. BJ is going around the Danger Room and the Doctor and Larry TIPB are ready to fight. I am too tired so I just rest my head on Jareth's shoulder. May I mention that he wears silk boxers and nothing else? Yeah, he does. At exactly 3 am the noises stop and something growls. Then it meows. It's just a cat. We leave the danger room and go back to our rooms. The cat follows the Doctor. We decide to name her Snowball even though she is all black. In the morning, we eat breakfast in a room we never saw. It's called the Dining Hall. After all, we have two new mouths to feed. Tomato grew a mouth and eyes last night. She doesn't know how to speak yet. I go back to my room to put the finishing touches on my poem. I fall back asleep when I finish.


	40. Commercial Break 10

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	41. Adventure 31: My Goblin King

The 31st Adventure Of Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag: My Goblin King and Something.

"As soon as I wake up, I get dressed and go to find Deliciously Gorgeous. I finished my poem for him. I find him in his secret room I make sure no one is around before I enter.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." He smirks. He's once again in his familiar attire. I smile. "I take it you finally slept well?" he asks concerned.

"Yes." I lie.

"Any dreams?"

"No dreams. Wait. There was a dream where I was friends with a talking chimp and an enormously fat cat. It ate the chimp. Poor Peter." I shake my head and laugh.

"And your dreams are always that warped." He smiles and raises an eyebrow. I shrug.

"I finished the your poem."

"Well then, let's hear it." He sits forward in his chair.

"it's called My Goblin King." I blush. He smiles faintly and makes a hand motion for me to continue. I start after a pause to get over my nervousness. He waits patiently.

_"Glittering eyes_

_Of Blue and green._

_Smirking pink lips_

_In a wide grin_

_Arching eyebrows_

_Cocked in amusement._

_Long whitish blond hair_

_Haphazardly styled._

_Skin white as porcelain,_

_Perfectly sculpted body."_ I blush and pause for a few seconds before continuing.

_"Physically beautiful._

_He is always _

_There for me._

_Laughing softly_

_To himself as_

_He looks into my_

_Eyes and gently_

_Kisses my cheek." _He sits back in his chair smiling, eyes closed.

"_He backs away_

_To look into my_

_Eyes once again." _I pause once again to ready myself for the next part.

"_I caress and hold_

_Him close in an_

_Embrace and kiss him._

_Fully on the lips." _I look up to see what he thought. He is still smiling. I continue.

"_When the kiss ends,_

_He takes my hands_

_And says,_

_'I love you.'"_ I stop because I hear a noise. Jareth sat up paying more attention now.

_"I whisper softly,_

_'I wish you would _

_Take me away right_

_Now.' He smiles_

_And puts his arms _

_Around my waist_

_And kisses me again._

_His eyes gleaming_

_In merriment, he_

_Strokes my face lovingly."_ I blush again. Jareth watches me intently.

_"He takes my hand_

_Once more._

_Away we fly to_

_His kingdom,_

_The Underground._

_He will always_

_Have power over me._

_My Goblin King."_ I finish. There is nothing but silence. Jareth gets up and kisses me.

Meanwhile…

"Say hello." Damsel says slowly to Tomato.

"…"

"I think it's a lost cause." Norrington says.

"Nothing is a lost cause," says the Doctor. "You just have to try harder." He gives a winning smile.

"Ziggy played guitar…hey wait! I want my lessons!" damsel runs to find Ziggy Stardust. She finds him in the kitchen getting something to eat.

"Hey lil' chick." Ziggy says eating a slice of cheese. "Wat's up?"

"I want my guitar lessons."

"Sure lil' chick." He smiles. "I just have ta grab me guitar." Damsel sits and waits on him to finish his meal. He grabs his guitar and an extra one so she can practice along with him. They begin.

Meanwhile…

"I love you." I say after the kiss.

"I love you too." He hugs me. We leave the secret room hand in hand. We come upon Larry TIPB talking to the stairs in the Escher Room.

"How do you walk on the stairs that are on the ceiling?"

"You just walk." The stairs reply enjoying Larry's company. We leave them alone. BJ runs into us.

"Hi babs." He says oddly calm.

"What happened to you?"

"Boredom."

"If you're bored, you can leave if you want, or wreck havoc on the Aboveground."

"Hmmm…I think I'll do just that." He disappears. We continue to walk.

"Hey DethRose, hey Jareth." Damsel looks up from her lessons.

"Hello." Jareth and I leave her to her lessons. We're looking for the Doctor. Finally, we find him. He is trying to teach Tomato how to talk to prove that it wasn't a lost cause.

"Say Rexicoricofallapatorious." The Doctor teases Tomato.

"…" says Tomato.

"Doctor?"

"Yeah?"

"Where did you and Ziggy go? It's weird that we turned up in different places. What do you think happened?"

"We, for some reason, were transported to Pluto. Luckily the TARDIS traveled along with us. I'd hate to think what would happen if she didn't. I don't know why ended up in different places. Probably a small rift tore."

"What did you do on Pluto?"

"You'll just have to read my story written by The Farces Of Evil to find out." He says.

"Crap!" says a random reader. "Now I have to read another story?"

"Look on the bright side, you'll learn new words." Deliciously Gorgeous the sexy says slowly to the reader. "You know what that means?"

"No."

"Your IQ will be a bit higher than that coat rack." He says pointing to a coat rack that randomly appeared.

"Well hay, there!" the coat rack says.

Meanwhile…

"Ziggy." Damsel says.

"Yea?"

"I think I got it."

"Play it." Damsel plays a riff from Ziggy's song, Ziggy Stardust. "Good. Today's lesson is complete. Catch me tomorrow."

"Same time?'

"Yeah."

"Oh, here's your guitar pick." Remember that Ziggy's payment is rare guitar picks.

"keep it. The lessons are free."

"Thank you…what's the catch?

"No catch."

"Oooooookay. I'll be back here tomorrow then. Bye." Damsel skips away.

"She's getting good."

Meanwhile…

"What is _that?_" Norrington asks BJ.

"Uh… search me."

"That is called a One Eye One Horned Flying Purple People Eater." I say walking in with Jareth.

"Well, it sure looks strange to me." Norrington replied.

"Yes, well, he makes up for it by playing rock 'n' roll through the horn in his head.." Jareth says.

"Tequila." The OEOHFPPE says after going into a solo.


	42. Adventure 32: Kicking Goblins

The 32nd Adventure Of Larry The Imaginary Plastic Bag: Kicking Goblins

"Catch that goblin!"

"Huh?" Ziggy Stardust says as the goblin ran between his legs and into the dining hall where it hides under the table followed by damsel.

"I told you to catch that goblin." Damsel huffs.

"Why is it so important?"

"It has Tomato!" she snaps.

"Sorry."

"Where did it head to?'

"Dining hall."

"Thanks." Damsel runs to find that confound goblin. She finds it and grabs it from underneath the table. She kicks the goblin and discovers how fun it is. The goblin, being unlike humans, rather enjoys this. It laughs and is having a good time. Soon Ziggy pops into the room and sees how fun kicking the goblin looks and joins in the festivity. Finally, after a while, they are tired and quit. The goblin, who I'll call Threadbasher, stumbles dizzily away as the two friends catch their breath and talk.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I don't know."

"Hm." Ziggy grunts.

"Can we start my lessons now?"

"Sure." Ziggy gets up and goes off to get two guitars. He comes back and hands one to damsel. They start to play.

Meanwhile…

"Jareth, Larry, Norrington, BJ and I are laying on the grass and looking at the clouds.

"That one looks like a ship."

"And that one looks like a skull."

"Ooo! That one looks suspiciously like a Turtlepig!"

"Now it looks like a habanera pepper."

"Okay, that's just weird."

"Don't look at me, you're writing this." BJ laughs.

"Yeah, I know. Aren't I genius?" No one answers. "Well."

"Well." BJ mocks. I stick out my tongue.

"I feel the need to kick a goblin. THREADBASHER!" Jareth yells.

"Yes your highness?" Threadbasher says meekly. Deliciously Gorgeous kicks him. He flew in the air a good 20 yards.

"Yay! Thank you your highness!" Threadbasher says and stumbles away.

"They take the fun out of kicking them by enjoying it." Deliciously Gorgeous sighs.

"I wanna go back inside." I announce.

"I think I may leave for good this time babs."

"Why?"

"Well, there isn't anything happening around here."

"I'm just having writer's block right now. Hopefully I'll get over it soon."

"I'm still going. You know what to do when you think of something exciting."

"Call your name three times. I got it."

"See ya babs!" BJ smiles and poofs away leaving behind a bat, an eyeball, and a tin can.

"I'm going to find damsel." Norrington gets up and leaves.

"I've got something to do." Larry TIPB mutters and leaves Jareth and myself alone. We scoot closer together so we are side by side.

"I hate writer's block." I groan.

"Put this aside and work on something else."

"I'm kind of lost on everything."

"Make something new."

"What should I do?"

"Something about ducks."

"Ducks?"

"How about an owl?"

"Speaking of owls, is it true that you can into one?"

"Yes." Jareth smiles, gets up, and turns into a beautiful barn owl. He flies around a bit and lands near my left arm. He allows me to pet, cuddle and hug him. I even kiss his head. He closes his eyes and stood there content for the moment of my coddling him. Finally he looks up at me with those big beautiful eyes, hoots and turns back into a man. He lays back beside me and stares up at the sky. The sun was setting and the sky was orange with a dash of oink. He takes my hand as we watch the sun set and the stars come out.

Meanwhile…

"Very good lil chick. I think we're done for today." Damsel tries to give the guitar back but Ziggy isn't taking it. "Keep it. You need to practice with it." He explains.

"Thank you." She says and hugs him.

"There you are damsel." Norrington says. "I've been looking for you."

"Meet me back tomorrow for your next lesson." Ziggy hurries out of there.

"Yeeeees?"

"How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Good, good." Awkward silence settles.

"Okra."

"Hm?"

"The conversation was getting boring."

"Damsel," Norrington takes a deep breath, gets down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

"OH MY SPOCK!!!" she screams and promptly faints.

"I'll take that as a yes." Norrington says smiling as he picks damsel up and tries to revive her.

Meanwhile…

"Jareth?"

"Hmm?"

"I think we should go back inside."

"Why?"

"I felt a raindrop."

"Alright." He pulls me up and puts his arm around my waist and we walk towards the castle. We go into the hall with our bedrooms and kiss before heading to our rooms. I change out of my clothes and fall asleep clutching a single white feather that Jareth gave me so I'll have something of his to sleep with.


	43. Adventure 33 Confusion

The 33rd Adventure of Larry the Imaginary Plastic Bag: Confusion

This is a story of two people. One man and one twenty year old girl. It is a story with love, heartache, comedy, and friendship. The names of these two people are Jareth and DethRose.

When I woke up, I still had the feather in my hand. I got dressed and left my room where I ran into Jareth.

"Good morning, Love. Did you dream of me?" Jareth said after he kissed me.

"Nah, I dreamed of a talking sofa named Arthur and a vampire named Spike." I halfway kidded. I really did dream of Spike.

"Well there's always tonight." Jareth whispered in my ear.

"It wasn't a dream." an English voice said from behind me.

"Oh Shiznitz!" I uttered. I immediately recognized the voice and knew that it really was Spike!

"Is there any blood around here?" Spike said looking and strutting around like he owned the place.

"Oh great, another Englishman." Jareth huffed as I smiled.

"How did you get here?"

"Don't know. Do you even have any pigs blood here?"

"No, but we do have Hoggle blood which is just like it." I smirk.

"Are we in the Underground?"

"Yeah."

"Bloody hell! I'm hungry!" Spike's stomach growls painfully loud.

"Do you think you could wait while I get some blood for you?"

"Yeah, alright."

"Where do you think you're going to get the blood from?" Jareth asked.

"The Blood Bar, of course" I roll me eyes playfully as a building appeared out of no where. "Any particular type, Spike?"

"A positive."

"You heard the vamp." I said to the cashier.

"Here you go, enjoy!" The Blood Bar disappeared as I hand over the blood. Spike goes into Vamp mode as he drinks the elixir of life. I wait for him to finish. Jareth gets impatient and walks away.

"Want any more, Spike?" I asked as he finish the bottle.

"Nah. What's up with the poof?"

"I don't know, but it seems like we've been overloaded with English men. He likes to be the only one." I snickered.

"You seem close to him from what I saw" Spike the great observer said.

"Yeah, but just recently. I love him but I'm not sure… ugh. I don't know what I'm saying.

"You're confused. You Don't know if it's just friends or more, yeah?"

"I guess."

"You're not ready for a relationship. Tell the poof you want to be friends for right now." The Love Guru, Spike said.

"Thanks for the advice." I smiled.

"Don't mention it, pet. Now where can I sleep?" He looked around.

"You can sleep in my room during the day." I didn't feel like making a separate room at the moment.

"Where is it? Is it dark?"

"One door to your left. It's dark if you turn all the lava lamps off. And there's a TV if you can't sleep."

"Do you object if I sleep nude?" He waggles his eyebrows.

"EEEEEEWWWWW!"

"Damn! I don't have any thing else to wear." I make boxers appear with the phrase, 'Vampires Suck' on front the from and fangs in the back. I grin.

"Oh ha ha bloody ha!"

"You're welcome." I snicker Spike pulls his leather pants down with a smirk. "Eeek!" I run blushing away. "This means war!" I yell loud enough that Spike hears me over his laughter. I laugh with him. I find Jareth in his secret room.

"Is he done?"

"He is." I smiled, sits in a chair beside him and lays my head on his shoulder. "I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" He says as he notes my nervousness and strokes my hair.

"I am confused about our relationship. I don't know if I like you as a friend or as a lover." he stops stroking my hair.

"I understand." His shoulders sag.

"I'm sorry." I gibe him a hug and a kiss.

"I'll wait and accept what you decide." He kisses me back.

"But guess what."

"What?"

"I still think you are sexy." I grin. We laugh.

"Just sexy?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Sexy, deliciously gorgeous, alluring and WOW."

"I am all of those and more." He puffs his chest out and gives me a smoldering glance.

"You're so vain." I slap his head.

"Hey! Watch the hair!" I laugh.

"So you're fine with being friends?"

"As long as I get to see you every day, I'm fine with it. And I'll always have my dreams." He smirks.

"Pffft. Pervert!" I laugh.


	44. Commercial Break 11

**Commercial Break 11**

"I have a breaking news!"

"Oh Spock, what is it this time?"

"I broke my brain! And you can too with this special offer. Just send in $4.50 and we'll send you an invisible bug that will bury into your cerebral cortex and break your brain!"

"And why would I want that to happen?"

"I don't know!"

"I suppose I could act like a super model." *5 minute pause*

"Hey!" Glare "Looks like we have a special guest! Meet Landerzoo!"

"It's Zoolander."

"And my name is Miss. ."

"It is?"

"No, you silly little man."

"OFF TOPIC!"

"Sorry. Remember to send in $4.50 and you'll get an inv invisible bug. Thank you and ooh! A turtle!"

*lights go off and we hear some shuffling, lights go back on*

"NO BODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"


End file.
